My first true taste of Metallica came when I was about 9 or 10 and … And Justice For All came out, which like the album pictured above was viewed as a total sellout by fans back then. Was it? I don’t think so now and I didn’t think so then but I hadn’t even reached puberty yet, nor know tit from tat about thrash. I just thought Metallica was pretty fucking bad ass. I eagerly sought out Ride the Lightening, Master of Puppets and started exploring whatever other thrash metal I could with my measly resources.

When I was 13, Metallica came back after a long absence with the Black Album. Thanks to the Black Album thrash metal had broken through, but the Black Album wasn’t really thrash metal at all. And there lies the conundrum! I won’t even try to be all cool and jaded and pretend I didn’t love the Black Album when it came out, because I did. While it didn’t exactly sound like the Metallica of yore, what the fuck did it matter? There’s bitchin’ old man in the Enter Sandman video was my stance! Thanks to the Black Album you could wear metal tees to class and not get made fun of, girls out of nowhere started taking an interest in metal, me and all my friends were forming crappy bands left and right and even my dad started digging Metallica! So all and all it was pretty fucking good times!

Metallica were like Jesus selling out metal to save our prepubescent souls! But of course I had to start getting older and seeing the error of Metallica’s ways!!! Fuck you Metallica!!! Hard Rock & Thrash must never cross paths you sell-outs, Never EVER!!!! Except as a guilty pleasure for us poseurs of course!