My Black Friday: Blade Trilogy
The choice was mine: I could go out and be part of the problem, or I could stay in and do something constructive with my time. What’d I do? I decided to watch some movies. But which ones?
It’d be nice to sink into something that could keep me busy all day. OK, so I need some sequels. I didn’t want to have to carry it over to the next day, however, so something epic like Lord of the Rings (despite it’s holiday charm) was out. That pretty much left Blade or The Matrix, and—sadly—I watched the Matrix downward spiral a few months ago. Still too soon.
Blade. Blade II. Blade Trinity.
I guess there’s two types of people: people who would never watch these movies because they’ve convinced themselves that they are shit, and people (like me) who can love these movies…warts and all. Stephen Dorf and all.
Anyway, I’m sure you’ve all seen them and you either love or hate them. This is just me reminding us all: they are awesome. For those that don’t know:
Blade. Blade is a half-human, half-vampire ‘daywalker’ that has all the strengths of vampires and very few of their weaknesses. He makes it his mission to hunt vampires and they’re human ‘familiars’ until the human race is safe from the vampiric threat.
Whistler. Whistler is Blade’s old-dude dad-guy who also lays it down heavy in the shop. He invents all sorts of cool doodads (light grenades, stake-shooting shotguns, um, super-knives, and a bad-ass 72 Challenger, among other things) for Blade to go out and hack vampires up with.
The movies.
Blade. You meet Blade. He’s got beef with Stephen Dorf who is a dick-vampire that wants to rob Blade’s blood of it’s magic and use it to take over the vampire-nation.
Blade II. Blade goes to Russia to rescue Whistler (who was kidnapped at the end of Blade) and encounters a new breed of parasite that feeds on both humans and vampires. The gore-dial gets turned up, and Ron Perlman and Norman Reedus make memorable appearances.
Blade Trinity. Blade gets outed to the humans and they arrest him. He’s rescued by the, ahem, Nightstalkers which are a bunch of kids who try to do what Blade does. Ryan Reynolds (can’t help but like this dude, sorry), Jessica Biel, and Patton Oswalt…um…stalk the night. Parker Posey heads up the main-bads and has a plan to bring back Dracula (played by the big dude from Prison Break) who ends up respect-hating Blade right up until the climax of the movie.
Not like it’s hard to guess, but—hands down—the best thing about these movies is Wesley Snipes. He is amazing in that he clearly works hard at hamming up the blaxploitation aspects of his dialogue…he knows it’s funny, so he laughs along with you. He’s also totally convincing at the stunts and martial arts stuff, and well, he makes you care about Blade.
Anyway. If you have a spare six hours, watch the Blades. They are awesome.
- Hateball
November 29th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I was always a fan of the first Blade and would push the virtues of it onto anyone who would listen. It actually is one of the better comic book movies ever made.
I’ve only seen maybe the last 20 minutes of Blade 2 on network TV, which wasn’t enough to make any sort of judgment on it. And I think i also saw the first 20 minutes of Trinity at someones house while it was on cable… those 20 minutes however did not bode well for my opinion of it.
November 29th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
YES. Big, big Blade fan over here too. Actually, anything with vampires is good to me so I’m not very even-keeled when it comes to opinions on this sort of stuff. The first one is awesome and two sequels definitely have their moments, and plus, they all have vampires in them, so I’m happy. On a similar note, did anyone see 30 Days of Night? Thoughts? I thought it was a surprisingly decent blockbuster-type vampire flick. It’s set in Alaska during a month-long winter, and t it was pretty fucking good considering that the star of the show is Josh Hartnett. Eww. I feel dirty for liking a Josh Hartnett movie.
November 30th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I’m going to hold off on saying anything about Blade Trinity – the original was certainly a pretty fucking entertaining diversion. I also will say that 30 Days of Night was pretty badass and I’m also extremely apprehensive of anything Josh Hartnett touches. The cinematography alone was gorgeous, and it was a cool take on vampires.
November 30th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Is “30 days of Night” really worth seeing? The comic it was based on was awful.
November 30th, 2008 at 12:47 am
IMHO fuck Blade Trinity. The first two where definitely worth seeing. 30 Days of Night is worth seeing for this one sprawling overhead shot of the town being attacked by vampires but after that it’s a bit of a wash. Not horrible by any means but nothing special to me.
December 1st, 2008 at 1:11 pm
The first Blade film is without question one of my favorite movies and the sequel, while not a terrible film, personally didn’t live up to my expectations.
I figured I’d cut my losses and skip the third film. I’m still not convinced after reading through the post and everyone’s comments.
Does anyone else wonder whether Wesley Snipes told the judge that “some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill” when he was convicted for tax evasion?
December 1st, 2008 at 3:51 pm
@Mike: It’s moments like those that make me love all three movies, in SPITE of all the other shit. He’s an unstoppable machine of awesomeness. The movies are what they are, but Blade (and Snipes) are the same throughout.
December 1st, 2008 at 4:15 pm
He is the same throughout but when you go from Prague in the second film to Vancouver in the third film and Ron Perlman as a sidekick to a blind Natasha Lyonne, it really let me down. Also, fuck David Goyer behind the lense. That guy needs to never direct anything ever again.