In the early nineties Philips and Nintendo partnered up to create a CD drive for the SNES.  That drive failed to ever be released but somehow Philips ended up with access to the Zelda franchise license.  Those electronic nobodies squandered it spectacularly by giving life to three of the most fascinatingly bad video games ever made.  These games are the video game equivalent of Water World.

The games were made by people who didn’t really seem familiar with the Zelda world.  Also the cut-scenes were animated by some Russian animation team and the animated sequences feel gross, psychedelic and strange.  I like them a lot.  Look at the grotesque detail that’s put into the characters’ knuckles.

Check out the scary, psychedelic animated cutscenes from Wand of Gamelon.  Portions of it look like Kim Deitch or Paper Rad.  For some reason there is a lot of detail in the knuckles and eyelids but Zelda looks like she was drawn in MS Paint by a toddler.

Below is the ending of the game with the actual gameplay included.  For some reason all you have to do to beat Ganon is throw the Wand of Gamelon at him

Here are some of the animated cut scenes from LINK: Faces of Evil. That genie character looks like the Great Milenko.

Here’s the live action intro to Zelda’s Adventure, the third and final game.

- Toilet Cobra