Compared to Nigerian news, American news is wicked boring. Exhibit A: Over the weekend, police in Lagos, Nigeria arrested a magic goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery. I live in Salem, MA; epicenter of witchcraft in the USA and I have never seen magic of this magnitude.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

“The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat,” Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone. (Source)

Tunde went on to say that they cannot base their information on something “mystical” and that it needs to be proven – scientifically, of course – that the human turned into a goat.

I’m going to go to Nigeria and steal everything. Then I’m going to tell Tunde a cheetah Animorph did it.

- Oh Mars