I showed up to Friday’s Midnite Till Death feeling like a dead body and I left feeling like a dead body stuffed with a million bucks.

I set up my DJ-mo-tron and put on a bunch of stupid shitty records. I was DJing all the wrong shit, mostly sad European garage and pop glam. Thankfully Charly and Ana showed up with good records which left me more time to freak out at the bands and chain smoke. I think my hairline is receding although it could just be an illusion.

The Organs got on stage a little late. It was like that episode of Seinfeld where they try to meet at the movie theater and they keep on leaving the movie theater to find each other. What the fuck was up with that? Once Dan finally got on stage he was fucking around with his equipment. “YOU, play that guitar! YOU, play that bass! YOU, drum those drums!” Once I yelled at them they jumped into playing awesome fucking rock and roll which made me forget what was up. The shindig was in full swing and my bad mood was on the back burner.

This is Lucian from Fiasco. The guys in Fiasco are like panda bears. They look adorable and then they start to play and it’s like getting mauled. Don’t forget that pandas are still bears and they will bite you, probably in the leg or groin. I’m a guy with a silly moustache but I think his is funnier. It looks like two fuzzy little caterpillars crawling into his nose.

My new thing is strangling people while I photograph them. I need to get some black leather gloves. The Back C.C.s Were sick as hell. Also, Rico was literally sick as hell. After he got off stage he couldn’t move and I thought he was dead.

See? Looks dead.

I’m really fifty fifty on whether this fine ass woman is legit or not. Are Black Flag shirts replacing Unknown Pleasures shirts as the shirt that girls that don’t listen to music wear as a fashion thing? I should have tested the waters by asking her who her favorite Black Flag singer was. If she said Rollins then she sucks and is still in the high school of the mind. If she said Ron Reyes or Chavo then she just checked out Wikipedia on her way out the door. The correct answer is ALWAYS Dez Cadena.

I looked at this photo a second time and realized that I must have been temporarily gay. This woman is fine and fly. Her shirt is fine and fly.

Jonathan can finger his guitar to death. The first time I saw Fiasco I just wandered into Cakeshop’s basement and there they were doing intensely complex hardcore songs about Star Wars. They asked for requests and did a Black Sabbath and Black Flag song for me. They are as talented as they are able. Seriously. I just wish people would fucking dance. This is circle pit music if I ever heard it. Especially when I hear “Oh, You horny monster”. How can you not want to do a David Lee Roth into the crowd off one of the convenient platforms? I can’t be the party asshole and the party organizer. More dancing assholes at future Till Deaths, please.

Charlie and Owen show me what I taught them.

This old timey moustache bologna is getting out of hand. He looks like he’s late, he’s late for a very important date but instead of keeping a pocket watch on the end of his fob chain he’s got a fucking iPhone. Don’t put this much energy into being old timey/a cartoon rabbit if you’re going to be pulling out Star Trek props and destroying the whole thing. I am certain that I am being a dick to the last person I should be being a dick to. I bet at some point I’ll be hearing “You’ll never work in this town again!” coming out of this guy’s life destroying little mouth hole.

I was outside smoking a lot and saying goodbye to the only girl I ever loved when Cameron from the Choke grabbed me gruffly by the scruff of my neckfat and said,”We’re going on now, and you gotta introduce us!” I went on stage and introed the band. She moves around like nuts when she’s onstage. Wailing and flailing and moving.

After the Choke’s set finished the party split into two warring factions. There were the backroom smoking partiers and the dancing to soul music people. When will people learn that there are no winners in war, only losers?

Smell ya later!

- Toilet Cobra