This past Saturday Mishka transformed their warehouse into a gallery and shoved toys and people and booze into it. I hadn’t showered for a few days and I was smelling, looking and acting like a human ashtray. Sorry if my stink disrupted your good time. I was yelling at Greg to hold still while I took the above photo but he kept walking away. He probably had some puppies to kick or something.

This is Mike Jones. He used to wear a grill but now it’s on a necklace. His hand is kinda covering it but he’s got his initials on it. Mike Jones, how great is it to have “MJ” as your initials? I think that it makes people more prone to wanting to be your pal.

The guy on the left calls himself Shark but I can’t tell if that’s his Myspace account name or if people actually call him that. I will stick with calling him Shark out of respect. The other guy is Lamour Supreme and people actually call him that. Lamour can do anything and what’s weird is that he doesn’t have an attitude about it. One time I met a guy who had attitude about the fact that his “art” was that he collected fucked up jewel cases he found in the street. Lamour could be a dick if he wanted to and everybody would still want to hang out with him but no, nicest guy. He made that giant Cyco Simon skull that’s at the store. He was introducing me to people as Toilet Cobra and some people recognized that name which is crazy because nobody calls me that, not even on Myspace.

This guy seemed really jazzed to get his photo taken. I like his rat pendant. He is a real rat king of a man. Why did I photograph this guy but not the sexy lady tapping the keg? I must be stupid.

That’s Prolly the bicycle guy on the right. On the left is Ellen Stagg who took all the photos for the Mishka calendar. This month’s photo is a totally awesome shot of the straight up beav. I like it but it kinda overwhelms people when they enter my room.

Could you two foxes fuck off for a second? I am entranced by this man’s coat.

Thanks.

Man, people in Brooklyn love track bikes. I knocked all of these over and I got dragged back inside where I was forced to dance to Tequila while wearing some big shoes. What do your grandparents say when you tell them that your bike has no brakes? I am basically your grandpa. If someone gives me one I will ride that thing up and down but until then I’ll just keep buying those fifty dollar mountain bikes at the flea market and riding them until they get stolen.

I guess I should write about these custom toys. Mr. Mishka’s girlfriend was saying that the character looks like a miserly Jew caricature to her. I don’t think she gets that every man aspires to be a miserly Jew caricature with four eyes and a giant gut. If I was a cooler guy I might roll my eyes but I am a dyed-in-the-dirt nerd and I am excited by brightly colored plastic.

A bunch of dudes showed up with bags of toys they’d molded themselves. How’d these guys figure out how to do all this? Supreme patience and vision.

This is a Lamour Supreme figure. How does he do it? Snake suspenders that turn into lightning bolts on the back.

Lamour is a photo hog. Good guy, but jumps in front of the camera all the time. You wouldn’t know by looking at him but he’s actually 45. This black velvet Dracula is great. You go to the Mishka space to get jealous of their shit. That is why it exists.

It is very gankstuh to flip off people who take your picture. These kids taught me all about that.

I gave flipping the bird the old college try and Lamour let me wear the Cyco Simon skull even though I stink like a rat’s nest.

In the end, many birds got flipped but it was all about love and respect. It was basically like Woodstock 99.

- Toilet Cobra