So I know this is late. I’ve been holed up in a conference room for about a week now. Something about being a ‘programmer’ or whatever seems to make people think that they can lock you in a room with 14 or 15 computers and a few other dudes and something will just ‘happen’. It’s miserable, really. Especially when that conference room is a thousand miles away and all you want to do is go home, snap your wife’s bra strap, and smell your dog’s farts.

Anyway, on one of my trips to the corporate crapper, I stumbled upon somebody’s newspaper. Whatever. Shitty local news, shitty local ads. Shitty local ad that has to do with Valentine’s Day. Then I read the ad. Yeah, it speaks for itself.

News flash/Attention Romeos: Don’t buy your girlfriend a douche at the 99 cent store for Valentine’s Day. Get her some love cuffs or stay awake pills instead. Or something.

- Hateball