This barefoot and possibly pregnant girl in the above picture is Dani Nosebleed and the last Midnite Till Death was in celebration of her birthday. Two bands cancelled on the day of and my DJs failed to show up. I hope that all of those people are dead or in the process of dying. You don’t blow off a Nick Gazin joint unless you got amnesia or terminal amnesia, where you forget to not kill yourself. Happy Birthday Dani!

This is Ryan. We met at a Tom Wolfe reading. My dad hit on a woman interviewing us for a magazine aimed at librarians. When she asked me what interested me about Tom Wolfe I said, “Tom Wolfe? I thought this was a screening of Teen Wolf!” Funniest thing I ever said.

This is Uzi Rash. They prefer to be referred to as “The Uzi Rash Group Band.” All the members are in punk bands so I thought they would be a punk band but instead they did something that surprised me.

Look at all of those masks. Masks help make a band good or better.

These girls were always winding up in weird positions like this. I went into the green room and they were smoking, wedged in a cleft between stacks of folding chairs. I didn’t even notice them until one of them spoke to me. They seemed really drunk but claimed that they always seemed that way. I would describe these girls as being like pixies or trolls or something. Also, you don’t see a lot of girls sporting the chelsea cut these days so she gets a lot of points for that.

This is my buddy Nate from back when I was in art school. Good guy. We used to host an outdoor dance party together where we’d dance to punk music. A while back he told me that he was bicycling and blacked out and got hit by a car. He was so drunk that he just got a few bruises and scrapes. That story terrified me when he told me it.

These cute girls are cute.

This is Rare Form. Their drummer is a dude. They sing songs that are cute like “I Will Hold Back Your Ponytail” and some others.

This is Stupid Party. How stupid is Stupid Party? Not very. They are like a hardcore band or something. The drummer can drum a mean drum. “Bapapapapapap! dootoolotooloodooloo!” It’s all crazy. They are really noisy. I feel old.

Someone asked if their band could play since two bands had cancelled and I was all like,”Yes, and I do not care if they are terrible.” Sadly, they played pretty badly. Sorry, Sweet Destruction, you’re good dudes but not a good band.

Look at these motorcycles. Look at these awesome candy colored motorcycles. They should make motorcycles with guns mounted on the side.

See you next time.

- Toilet Cobra