I abstract academic journals and tabloid rags for a living. It can be both racy and thought provoking but most of the time it’s unbearably boring.  I’ve been on a project for  months now which has me drowning in old religious pamphlets and treatises on Christian ethics. But every once in a while I get gems like the above 1891 examination of shit and piss in religious rites and witchcraft. Boo yah.

Crystal Antlers – Tentacles (2009) [Touch & Go] // Grade: D+

After last years very promising self-titled EP, Tentacles is really just a big disappointment. If the goal was to strike while the iron was hot and rush an LP out, this was a huge misstep because this sounds just that, rushed. While the songs on their debut EP breathed with life and sense of urgency, Tentacles is a plodding mess, hopelessly retreading the same few ideas over and over and over.

Crystal Antlers are not strong or interesting enough of a band to have tried to rush out a full length There is zero reward in hearing them work out what they want to do or be over the course of this album. In fact at times, it’s downright excruciating. So what you’re left with isn’t an album per say but something more akin to working demos to (perhaps) eventual songs… moments, minutes & ideas here and there, all fleeting. None strong enough to carry the weight of a song, let alone an album.

I’ve been up into the wee hours of the night all week reading Liberation, based on Mars’ awesome recommendation of it. I am stunned at it’s beauty. It’s poetry. It’s total appeal to all things I find thrilling about light-sci and mock-fantasy fiction. Gritty, depressing, uplifting, and utterly engrossing in a way that can only be mimicked by other larger-than-larger-than-life circumstances and stories of the same kind. With the lone exception of WWII. I realized late last night that this is my genre: Post-Apocalyptic, Character-Driven, Adventure-but-not-Action, Critically-Laced Fiction. It’s so geeky it hurts, and I love it.

Speaking of geeky. And speaking of Sci. For the first couple nights that I was getting into Liberation, I had this scratch in the back of my throat…this little wisp of deja vu: I’ve read something like this before. Not exactly like this, but still….

And then it all [snow] crashed back to me: Snow Crash. Duh. A seminal cyberpunk-meets-the+world+is+shit+now adventure by none other than Neal Stephenson, the godfather of, well, Cyberpunk.

Snow Crash is one of those books that’s at once so timeless and so dated, you really don’t know where to categorize it. It was written in 1992 which is important only because there are so many concepts in the book (the internet, private corporations owning and operating their own governments, religious jihad) that are so totally ingrained into our modern day lives, it’s pretty hard to realize that this book is from almost 20 years ago.

Much of the book centers around the ‘Metaverse’; an initially off-putting yawn of a Lawnmower-man-like VR internetz. Blink once and you forget any feelings you may have had about it being cheezy…Stephenson’s ideas and execution pay off in triple spades. He also has an amazing knack for drawing scenes in your mind where everything is shiny and new and dirty and rusted…all at the same time. Another significant setpiece in the book is the USS Enterprise, and the decay is, well, palpable.

Do you like swords? Do you like the future? Do you like the idea of a worldwide, Mafia-owned pizza company being the most feared and respected organization on Earth? Does the idea of a computer virus that is somehow linked to ancient, there-is-no-Dana-only-Zuul-type texts hold you in rapture four feet above your covers? If yes, dig in. You will pass it around like the clap.

If no, well, maybe next time.

Michael Jackson – Thriller (1982)

Vs.

Prince & The Revolution – Purple Rain (1984)

The Game is simple… if only one could exist which would it be?  What’s more important… personal relevance, cultural significance, or simply being the better album all other things aside? Choice is yours…

Woods – Songs of Shame (2009) [Woodist] // Grade: A

While most Lo-Fi bedroom pop tends to toil in somewhat dank & mysterious recesses, Songs of Shame is akin to a revelation that opens the curtain, lets the light in but fully makes use of the shadows still being created. Endearing yet at a distance, Jeremy Earl’s falsetto over these delicate campfire hymns finds that balance between familiarity & the exotic that is hard to resist even if you’re not the sort easily won over by the charms of Lo-Fi recording.

Songs of Shame is the latest in a string of great Lo-Fi Pop released over the past year and the album to up the ante for everyone else toiling in the bedrooms hoping to be the next Sebadoh. Unlike the loose sketches of melodies over aural tapestries and questionable musicianship that have characterized a majority of Lo-Fi releases, Songs of Shame is entirely accessible while missing none of the rough dissonant charm that’s brought rise and attention to the recent home recording scene. Spared from any sort recording wizardry, the guitars are bare and free to ooze with an unmatched level of confidence that underscores the musicianship’s subtle, yet strong technicality. This is Lo-Fi not bound to the charm of it’s limitations, but whose charm is in proving there really are no limitations.  Tracks like “The Number”, “Military Madness” & “Rain On” are absolute proof that sometimes you can have it all when you’re that in tune with what you’re creating… Woods are in that zone.

It was a cold and rainy Tuesday on the 14th and I didn’t think shit was going to go so well. The bartender was cracking jokes about getting the party started and the sound guy was sighing loudly. The bands were taking forever to show up. Every band was using Nobunny’s drums and he had accidentally gone to the wrong club. Then he accidentally went to another club that was also the wrong one. Finally the bands showed up and people funneled in.

Liquor Store played what Sarim later declared to be their best show ever. They had five guitarists on stage this time and were more in unison than ever. Liquor Store are awesome.

This is Rico who’s in a million bands and Ana, the DJ. They both look like weird monsters in this photo.

Livefastdie played their second to last show. They had played kinda slappy/sloppy/choppy the previous night due to having not had a band practice ever. I’d given LFD’s singer, Camero, some shit for them never playing new songs. As some sort of revenge/homage he dismissed the band from the stage and did a solo version of “King Hick” which was dedicated to me.

The Rock N Roll Adventure Kids played next. No shoes, shirts, no service. They ruled. Their songs would start out normal, hurtle out of control and come back to Earth.

This is Karen and Charly, good bros, Karen is always drawing shit on her face like a teenage goth and Charly punched some guy in the face at this show. Later her boyfriend punched that guy some more.

Nobunny Came out in disguise in stripper shoes.

Mike Jones with some cute girl. In this photo I believe he was saying, “Duhhh. Duhhhhhhhh. Duhhhhh!”

Nobunny said it was the best show of the tour thus far. There were cute girls and dancing and crowd surfing. Oh! I didn’t want the night to end!

It was so good that they kicked everyone out but they just hung out in the rain.

Judy from Baby Shakes and Todd from Ex Humans were there.

See you in the future!

Thanks to Self Titled Mag and The Tripwire for covering the shit as well.

Mr. T is getting a long overdue video game (or maybe even games), thanks to ZootFly. I’m not counting the lame A-Team game for the Atari 2600, because that could’ve been anybody’s disembodied floating head trying to save the world from nuclear destruction. And that game was never technically released.

But someone’s signed up the T to star in a video game that will have him puttin’ the hurt on some Nazi suckas… and possibly even some giant Nazi robots. That someone is a little-known Slovenian game developer who’s currently hard at work on a Prison Break game and, at one point, had a swell-looking Ghostbusters game that won’t see the light of day.

Of course, these aren’t your run of the mill Nazis, but of the paranormal super Nazi variety. Powerful, but still foolhardy and worthy of pity.

It’s all very confusing, but at least we know Mr. T’s video game will sell two copies at a minimum: one for Greg to play, one to keep mint in package. And we know it’ll look better than this.

Details are pretty scarce, to the point where the announcement almost feels like a prank–or just written by a native Slovene speaker. But ZootFly’s had the news up all day about its Mr. T game, so it’s looking legit.

In our never ending path of destructive youth homages, we revisit the 90s grunge staple in our accessories department: the chain wallet. You might’ve got kicked out of class for rocking one of these, or perhaps you used it to whip your little brother for scratching your In Utero CD.

Take advantage of our updated flip on this classic piece of dirtbag culture, and pick-up this durable accessory for your daily wardrobe. Made of heavy-duty nylon, and features a chain with key clip and custom Keep Watch hardware.

These are available online & in-store in in Black, Grey & Red!

Мишка
350 Broadway
Brooklyn, NY 11211

Monday – Friday: 12-7pm
Saturday – Sunday: 12-8pm

J/M/Z to Marcy Ave.
G to Broadway
L to Lorimer

When you get your bag checked at Trash & Vaudeville on St. Mark’s, you have the chance of putting The Captain and this other guy in your pocket while you shop. That dude is my hero too, I don’t know if I would ask him to slaughter me a lamb or roll me a cuban. Keep the mystery alive. (photo from Valissa Yoe)

Chuck E Cheese – Birthday Show