My friend Elijah has been recording rap songs with titles like “Raw Daddy”, “Overgrind” and “Viagra” which is the gayest group of song titles I ever saw next to each other. Raw Daddy gonna snort viagra as he goes into overgrind on your sewer pipe. Elijah should do another song called Sewer Pipe.

Elijah’s not billing himself as a gay rapper and I don’t think he’s actually gay but I am thinking that we could make him a star of the hot cruising spots. All he has to do is keep rapping about his dick and we’re gonna make gay amounts of money. I don’t know if he’ll still talk to me after seeing what I said about his song title choices on the Mishka blog. If Elijah is reading this: I am not saying that you’re gay or that the songs are gay but you gotta admit that when you look at those three song titles that it looks crazy gay.

Elijah’s raps made me a little nostalgic for rappers like Big Lurch who do PCP and MOTHERFUCCCCKING EATTTT PEOPLLEEEEEE LIKE A ZOMMMMMMMMBIE.

- Toilet Cobra