Sue Storm is fuckin’ hawt! The matriarch of the Fantastic Four gets a super sexy makeover thanks to Japan’s Rockin’ Jelly Bean. Mr. Jelly Bean is known to most low brow art fans for his paintings and posters featuring uber-sexualized fantasy women and to Kaiju nerds for his posters and designs for Rumble Monsters. Now it seems Marvel has jumped on the band wagon and has Rockin’ Jelly Bean making over Marvel Comics most famous females.

The Invisible Woman statue is up for pre-order now on Erostica and appears to be shipping in October. I’ve always thought those dudes who had those near pornographic statues of anime chicks in their apartments were weird, but if Rockin’ Jelly Bean designs a classic costume Marvel Girl ( Jean Grey) I may have to change my mind and join the ranks of those creepy hentai statue collecting Otaku dudes.

Come this Thursday, May 28th for my DJ set but stay for the burlesque!

Happy Ending
302 Broome St.
New York, NY
NO COVER!

Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix (2009) [V2] // Grade: A-

It’s becoming abundantly clear that in life, besides death and taxes, you can also start relying on Phoenix to deliver great albums every chance they get. Stupid title aside, on their 4th full length the French quartet deliver another 70s AM friendly indie-pop gem that is bound to bring smiles to faces, toes a tapping and probably the mainstream U.S. success that has somehow eluded them. Like every Phoenix album Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is for gluttons! Draining every ounce out of a winning formula that relishes in light, sweet and contained moments that leave you fulfilled and wanting more just as soon as it’s over.

Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is akin to nutritious cotton candy or a healthy cigarette… it’s too good to be true, yet there it is. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re French that’s creating some intangible element, alluding to a sea of unearthed substance behind their pop fluff but whatever it is I really don’t need to see what behind the curtain nor do I care.

There’s not a single video game I’m more excited about right now than “Project TRICO,” the third game in the Ico series. Both Ico and Shadow of the Colossus rank among the best of the PlayStation 2 generation, with the latter unquestionably one of the Best Games Of All Time. Easily in my own Top 3, for whatever that’s worth.

This is early shit, not necessarily what the final game is gonna look like. But if it looks anything even remotely like this, I’ll be creaming my Boris jeans until they’re capable of standing upright on their own. I want a giant ultra-pet that I can throw barrels of food at who will help me overcome any obstacle in real life, but I’ll happily settle for playing with a digital one (and being emotionally manipulated).

Oh, and if you want to make some Neverending Story jokes about what might be the best game in the Ico series, just keep in mind that a previous asshole has already beaten you to it.

I only made it halfway through the 1994 documentary Chicken Hawk: Men Who Love Boys. I was bullshit after about three minutes; watching grown men try to justify why they want to fuck kids can have that effect on people. This doc is like the Heavy Metal Parking Lot of pedophile movies and features a shameless crew of creepos driving raper-vans through the woods and talking about how the boys “are yet to blossom.” Seriously, I’m an open-minded cat and I do my best to put myself in the “other” pair of shoes, but all this doc made me want to do is buy a shotgun then find this old bastard in the jaundice sweater (below) and redecorate his arsehole with buckshot.

The doc takes an objective look at NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association, and their FUBAR members. Brief aside – my roommate notified me that if you visit the NAMBLA website, the U.S. government flags the shit out of you, hence the lack of link. I honestly have nothing else to say about this doc except NAMBLA shouldn’t exist and all its members deserve a curb stomp or 10. Our good friends at Netflix do not have Chicken Hawk available (they wouldn’t be caught dead with such rubbish), but you can watch the whole movie on the doldrums of YouTube.

Major Lazer “Zumbie” ft. Andy Milonakis

Mad Decent’s Major Lazer does it again with a MySpace video release of “Zumbie” ft. Andy Milonakis.

If you don’t already you should follow Andy Milonakis on Twitter. Andy’s tweets are always good for a few laughs and he is always posting links to his new videos on Youtube.

AIRHORN!

This is Twerps! I hijacked Ease’s post because he didn’t know what to write. I am not sure what he wants me to write but everyone should come and celebrate his birthday with us tomorrow night at East River Bar!

I guess its starts at 8pm and I am going to be the grillemaster (even though I think this is kind of late for a BBQ) Its a def Bring Your Own BBQ so bring meat, salads, buns, etc. Bring Ease presents too. He is t-shirt size Large and 9.5 for kicks.

It should be a wild time. I mean how else do you think a castaway cave (encino) man is gonna party!

This coming weekend is the annual Black N’ Blue Bowl. I used to go to Superbowl’s of Hardcore when I was younger (and thinner) and those were always fun. The tradition is still alive. My mom would love when I would come home looking like Tawana Brawley after explaining to her SHEER TERROR was the headliner. Anyways, I’m psyched for the opportunity this weekend to see KILLING TIME, MURPHY’S LAW and INDECISION mostly. Last time INDECISION played it was pretty nuts. It will also be cool to see SUBZERO play their last show. They’ll be playing all older jams off the first record, seven inch etc etc. There’s a shit ton of bands playing (look at the flyer.) BOLD probably won’t play “Nailed To The X” which sort of sucks. Aside from that, this is just a friendly reminder to check out the show if it’s your sort of thing. I’ll be there not moshing, not trying to get shirtless fat guy sweat on me, and probably eating hot dogs.

On a side note, Go Nuggets! Go Magic!

You may recognize this dream machine from a little movie called Ferris Motherfuckin’ Bueller’s Day Off Bitches. Oh, my bad, that’s not the proper title? This 1961 Ferrari 250GT California sat proudly in the garage of 370 Beech St in Highland Park, Illinois, the “home” of fictional Wings fan Cameron Frye. It also went peeling out through the back of the garage into a ravine but that’s irrelevant. The point of this post is to let anyone sitting on a cool 2.3mil know that the crib pictured above is on the market. Scope it here.

Keep Watch and Bear Mop Mousepads Now Available!

After a long Holiday Weekend we’re back to the grind, getting your orders out and offering you two new products for all your internet surfing needs.

We return once again with out Keep Watch Mousepad in a brand new colorway and re-up on the ever-popular Bear Mop Mousepad which was previously out of stock.

Needless to say we’re keeping busy over here and with our Summer drop right around the corner we’ll be working extra-hard to get you everything you need before the real heat sets in.