I’ve been a lonely person for a long, long time and when I was little I would remedy that by playing Lucasarts adventure games. For those of you who are girls, Lucasarts adventure games were these point-and-click computer games that had strong stories and irreverent humor.

The best and funniest games were the Monkey Island games. You played as Guyrush Threepwood, he wanted to be a mighty pirate. He had to fulfill three tasks in order become one and then his story gets derailed. I could go on. The first three Monkey Island games are so good. So damn good. And fun and funny.

Lucasarts decided that these absorbing, funny games were too costly to produce and stuck with making the worst goddamn video games based on the Star Wars franchise. Bluh.

BUT! BUT! Now Lucasarts is rereleasing the original Monkey Island, sadly only for X Box. It looks boss. You can play it with it’s original graphics or with the new uglified 3D graphics they fucked up just for this game. I know they had to make it relevant but it still looks ugly. Sadly it is not being re-released onto the Wii. They are releasing a new Monkey Island game for Wii though. It looks a little bit terrible and unfunny.

- Toilet Cobra