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Archive for July, 2009

Oh Mars's Previous Entries

Bear Porn

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

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Before I was into comic books at all, my father took me to the “Red Barn” shop in Andover, New Jersey and I naively started fingering everything that caught my eye. I didn’t go for any superhero titles, but that day I walked out with Myth Adventures #1 and 2 and Boris the Bear #9 and 10. 9 had a great G.I. Joe parody cover (above) that really attracted my eye. I don’t recall too much about the plots of Boris and I’m sure I didn’t comprehend what satire was at age 10, but seeing Boris brutally murder recognizable characters was the tits.

Dr. No's Previous Entries

Rap: Friend or Foe?

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Cam makes it his job on the regular to find amazing old rap videos and leave them on my Facebook and as a result I gotta get my fingers dusty and return the favors. The best part about YouTube is the unreleased videos that never made it to Much or MTV because of censorship issues. The number of amazing old classics that have videos I’ve never seen before is so sick. This Friend or Foe video was brand new to me up until a week ago and is so sick. Everything from the cinematic music editing to Jay and Dame clowning each other. They don’t make em like this anymore.

I wanted to check the interest in a weekly post where a few classic rap videos get burn. Does anyone want to see a weekly installment of Rap tracks? Am I stepping on any toes on a Thursday??

Dr. No's Previous Entries

Spring Cleaning

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

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Since I’m habitually late when it comes to everything it was appropriate that today I started my spring cleaning. Amidst my T-Shirt organizing I was thrilled to re-find my once long lost Mishka KMFDM Tee. This was the first piece of Mishka clothing I ever owned and I remember wearing it like a uniform throughout the spring and summer of 2005 until it was a salty rag. Feeling pretty stoked about the find I threw it in the hamper to be reinstated into a second tour of service and continued digging through the piles of musty nostalgia. After another couple minutes I found this guy:

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A completely deadstock KMFDM Tee I had stashed away and completely forgotten about. I remember I bought this Tee online because in 05′ Mishka was pretty hard to come by up North. I also remember that I wasn’t accustomed to waiting for things in the mail and when the parcel took more than two weeks to arrive I wrote a strongly worded letter to the online shop I had ordered it from (not mishkanyc.com). Within literally a day of writing the email my parcel arrived and within a week of that one arriving a second identical parcel landed on my doorstep.

I feel as though this Tee needs to be passed like a torch so that someone else can relive my glorious summer of 05′ that was chalk full of drunk chicks trying to read backwards block fonts, Jager, Midtown, and unintentionally shitting on Depeche Mode fans.

Mr. Malta's Previous Entries

Mishka x AdFunture Bootleg Kaiju and Tee!

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

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Now Available: Mishka x AdFunture Bootleg Kaiju!

Mishka x AdFunture Bootleg Tee!

Today we have two crazy items for all of the toy freaks out there, both collabs with friends AdFunture.

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First, is the Bootleg which comes packaged with two heads (one of Cyco Simon, the other of a rotting bear Soviet super soldier) and was sculpted by Lamour Supreme. The packaging includes original header card artwork by Twerps! with help from Lamour Supreme and insert with illustrations by Creepy Touch host and all around dirtbag Nick Gazin aka Toilet Cobra! This has an extremely low production run and in our opinion is one of the sickest looking toys on earth!

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We also have the accompanying shirt designed by again, Creepy Nic Gazin, for all of you hardcore completist scumbags and maniacs.

Get them both now as they’ll be gone before you know it!

Caffeine Powered's Previous Entries

The Disproportionately Large Genius of Rob Liefeld

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

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In fifty years when scholars and alleged brilliant minds are looking back at the then-defunct medium known as comic books, they’re going to look at one mind as an example of the viability of that dead medium. In between musing that humans could have been so primitive as to store pieces of paper in plastic, they’re going to spend entire classes in cute liberal classrooms dissecting the works of one man.

Rob Liefeld.

Rob Liefeld gets a lot of digs from comic book aficionados. He’s been the kick bitch for snooty mouth-breathing dungeon dwellers such as myself for the better part of two decades. And what we’ve all been missing is that not only is Rob Liefeld a mad genius, but he may be the most honest reflection of the effects of our insane society on impressionable young minds. He is a commentary in motion.

At first blush, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the sheer awesomeness of a Liefeld panel. There are tights and straps and grenades and everywhere. Everyone is hyper-hyper sexualized. Muscles build themselves unforgivably atop other muscles. Women’s bosoms defy gravity and reach for the Heavens – which makes sense since their plush beauty can only have been forged by some horny fourteen year-old deity upon some comic Olympus. The characters brim with intensity, as evidenced by the staggering amount of concentration lines upon their faces.

When you look at a Liefeld panel, you’re watching the explosion of a what appears to be a teenage boy’s fantasies. Liefeld clearly stopped developing mentally around the time he first picked up a pencil – and that’s awesome. Looking at his panels is watching a raging teenage ID unleashed upon a page. His artwork is so awful, so frenetic, that it is absurdly awesome. People love taking swings at Liefeld for the same things that I find so brilliant. Liefeld is unencumbered by the nuances of drawing. His artwork is pure expression, clearly unbothered by conforming to conventions or dogmatic ways of viewing artwork. While other artists spend their time making certain that their characters are proper in perspective and anatomy, Liefeld simply doesn’t give a fuck. He picks up a pencil, and draws. And draws. And draws. And the world is a better place for it.

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Image courtesy of our own Cornbluth’s collection

And the dirty little secret is that you and I loved Rob Liefeld at one point. Every teenage kid loved him because at one point, we were him. His drawings with uber-guns and super sexy women appealed to us. How many of us breathlessly waited in line for him to sketch us a picture? MOAR POUCHES we screamed. GIVE HIM A HUGE GUN we begged. And then myself and everyone “grew up” and all of a sudden became too cool for the demented man-child we had worshiped scant years earlier.

Perhaps it’s going to take twenty or so years before the masses can appreciate Liefeld for his absurd reflection of our collective mindset. Snarky art kids take chops at him because they’ve been fed lines about the necessity of following this or that rule. Comic book fans use him as a punching bag because his renditions of feet look like goat hooves, and if the guy isn’t holding a gun, Liefeld didn’t draw him. All it would take is one prominent scholar to come out and examine Liefeld’s artistic renditions of human beings as a reflection of the hyperreality we’re all living in and all the quasi-intellectual dorks of the world would be like,

“Oh man, Liefeld is a stunning absurdist! His drawings unintentionally reflect the physical impossibilities we all strive for!”

We all worship photoshopped chicks with flawless skin. Brodudes with twenty-four pack abdominal muscles smile at us from magazine covers. Hollywood actors don’t age. Androids with perfect complexions and diamond musculature fill our existence 24/7. If anything, Liefeld is a product of the times he grew up in. He is the culmination of a perfect storm. What do you get when you cross a sensational society filling impressionable young minds with beauty myths, and an underdeveloped man-child?

Stunning ridiculousness.

And Liefeld should be appreciated in that same manner. They’re so bad, they’re amazing. They are the reflection of one dude’s unhinged take on idealized human beings. His artwork will be viewed in 2025 as a lesson in hyperrealism and its effects on artwork in modernity. He will be the poster child for our era, lauded as an unexpected soothsayer. His splash pages will be examined in Cultural Studies in Modern America classes in cross-reference with books by Naomi Wolf. Liefeld is the zeitgeist of the TOTALLY EXTREME 1990’s when everything was foil covers, antiheroes, ultra-violence, and super sexuality. He is the absolute pinnacle of an era that was pages and pages of superheroes striking action poses, and splash pages. He is a reflection of the times to the zillionth degree.

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And for that, he should be lauded. He is a case study in the effects of an absurd society on a young man. What is the point of artwork, if not to engage the viewer? Liefeld’s responsible for some of the most memorable panels in modern comics. Whether or not you laugh, vomit chunks onto the page, or marvel in its ridiculousness, you remember them. Who doesn’t remember his rendition of Captain America? Steve Rogers was rendered into a blonde mountain of muscles strapped into spandex. He probably couldn’t bend, let alone defend America. But we all remember that page. And he was scorned. Yeah man, someone couldn’t look like that.

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Whoops.

Rob Liefeld is a goddamn genius. You just don’t realize it yet.

My Pal the Crook's Previous Entries

Review: Tortoise – Beacons of Ancestorship

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

Tortoise - Beacons of Ancestorship

TortoiseBeacons of Ancestorship (2009) [Thrill Jockey] // Grade: B+

Welcome back guys, you’ve been missed! While Beacons of Ancestorship in no way rivals such classics as TNT or Millions Now Living, it’s a very profound step back into the right direction for the most innovative instrumentalists of the last 15 years.

Beacons of Ancestorship charm lies on how well Tortoise use electronics on this outing… from the Giorgio Moroder tinged epic opener “High Class Slim Came Floatin’ In” and “Monument Six One Thousand”, to “Northern Something” IDM inspired rock out that brings to mind older Trans Am.  Songs “The Fall Of Seven Diamonds Plus One” & “Minors” feel like modern re-imaginings of Millions Now Living era Tortoise, while the standout “Gigantes” flat out sounds like Richard D. James somehow got into the mix.

Tortoise may no longer be pushing the boundaries they were in the mid 90s, but Beacons of Ancestorship is a much welcome two steps back, one step forward for the band. A re-evaluation of who they were and where they’ve been condensed into one a very satisfying album.

Buy it at Insound!

Prolly's Previous Entries

2009 Gathering of The Juggalos Infomercial

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Mike Jones and Greg already got their tickets… Reminds me of the SUNDAY SUNDAY! S U N D A Y ! Monster truck commercials of the 90′s.

Oh Mars's Previous Entries

Alice in Wondermehhh Trailer

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Here’s the first trailer for Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland and after months of hype, it looks like Tim Burton is doing an Alice in Wonderland movie. I really wasn’t expecting anything special; I haven’t enjoyed a Burton movie since 1999′s Sleepy Hollow – a story Burton was born to adapt. BUT watching this trailer, it’s obvious that he still banks his movies on dry humping German expressionism until he cums a load of uninspired CGI visuals and unorthodox characters for Johnny Depp to wipe his a$$ with. Mix all this with a Danny Elfman score and SPLOOSH!…a new Burton film is birthed!

Will I see it? Yes, strictly because my fearless, Oscar-nominated girlfriend Anne Hathaway (who portrays the White Queen) is in it. Our first child, Patrick, is due March 2010, which is appropriately enough when Alice is due in theaters. You can check out our baby registry at Kids ‘R’ Us, thanks guys!

My Pal the Crook's Previous Entries

Plastician Reminisces on Rinse.FM

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

And if you aren’t already on your way over, then get to Santo’s RIGHT NOW!

My Pal the Crook's Previous Entries

Review: Human Mess – Follow You Home

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

Human Mess - Follow You Home

Human MessFollow You Home (2009) [No Way] // Grade: B

Human Mess have the right (Poison) idea on their debut LP. These 12 unapologetic (mostly) 40-50 second anthems make for the greatest ten minute album to come out this year… quote me on that! After it’s over just be sure to check your shirt for blood before stepping out!

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