(Moderate spoilers ahead. You’ve been warned.)

Oh Batman, I never knew you were a fucking romantic. But as it turns out, your newest video game is a love letter to several amazing things. I picked up Arkham Asylum not really knowing what to expect. It had gotten crazy reviews, which is a thing of change for comic book video games. Usually they’re suffocating pieces of dog shit. Even the Batman ones. Go look up Batman Forever for Saturn. Come back to me with your hands covered in your own vomit and blood.

So yeah, it had gotten good reviews and starred the Batman, which was enough to sell me. But Arkham Asylum turns out to be a throbbing love letter by Eidos not only to the Batman universe, but also to gaming in general.

The premise of the game is enough to make even the most jaded Batfan excited. Joker infiltrates Arkham Asylum, in an effort to you know, steal shit and go bonkers. Coincidentally, like all of Batman’s rogues gallery just happens to be there. Go figure. It’s a little convenient, but let’s not be dicks about it. It’s actually a decent way to round up the entire Batman universe into one location.

If you can’t swallow that reasoning in video game based on a comic book about a guy who dresses up as a Bat, then you’re probably in league with the rest of the people in the world I hope kill themselves, or are maimed by the Batmobile during one of Bruce’s drunken nights with a bunch of hot sluts in the back and too much vodka in his blood.

Don’t think a billion dollars can’t cover up some heavy shit.

To fatten the deal Eidos brought on Paul Dini to scribe the entire thing. You may recognize Dini as the dude behind Batman: The Animated Series (TAS), as well as a slew of Batman comic books. As well, they brought on Kevin Conroy to voice Batman, reprising his work on the animated series, as well as Luke Skywalker to voice the Joker. I don’t think it’s a secret that Mark Hamill has been the voice behind Joker in TAS, and this news alone was enough to send nerd across multiple nerd kingdoms into fits of ecstasy.

As an aside, it’s nice to hear Batman with a voice that doesn’t sound like he’s been trying to squeeze out a Batshit for two weeks to no avail. Say what you will about the Nolan/Bale Batman movies, they’re awesome, they blow, whatever. I dig them. However, Bale’s Batman voice is a raging bout of constipated fury through the movies. I can only imagine the constipation arises from the fact that Wayne sweats constantly in his thick leather suit, and is dehydrated like a motherfucker.

And then there are the gadgets. It’s a Batgasm. Seriously. Batmobiles and Batclaws and Batman Zip-Lines and shit. It goes on and on. The fanservice is ridiculous. There’s a point where the Batplane smashes through a ceiling to deliver Wayne a Batgrapple or some shit. The sound of the turboprops through a 5.1 system while the graphics engine works its ass off is ridiculous, and I mean that only glowingly.

All of this tethered around a beautifully written story that easily could have been an animated movie or a brilliant arc in Detective Comics.

But that shit is only half the battle, right? (Go Joe.) At the end of the day, the game has to play well. And holy shit it does.

If the entire production is a love letter to the Batman universe, than Eidos themselves scribed a love letter to several video game series, but especially Hideo Kojima and the Metal Gear. Arkham Asylum is essentially Metal Gotham Solid. Forgive me for my awful pun.

Right from the get-go, Batman begins sneaking around like fucking Solid Snake. I was expecting this game to be more “kick the crap out of thugs” than tactical espionage, but that’s cool. I’m digging it. Fans of the Metal Gear series will pick up the similarities immediately.

Snake’s night vision goggles have been replaced by Batman’s “detective mode”. Hit a button and all of a sudden you’re seeing in infrared. Instead of tracking cigarette trails or some shit from MGS you’re tracking Jim Gordon’s tobacco residue.

Remember Solid Snake’s sneak attack? Yeah, Batman has got that one too. Sneak behind an enemy and choke the mothefucker out. Unfortunately Batman doesn’t go all rogue and snap necks, but what can you do. I also don’t know why Eidos doesn’t let the WORLD’S GREATEST DETECTIVE drag bodies out of sight either, but alas.

There’s a thin line between homage and rip-off, and there’s probably a couple of goons who feel they cross it. The sneaking and taking guys out is prominent in the latest Batman movies, so it feels like a natural game mechanic, even if it’s been ninja’d.

Then there are the Scarecrow moments.  At random points Bruce will begin to hallucinate and be transported into some fucked up world of paranoia and delusion. It all stems from the fact that the dude needs a psychiatrist, but what can you do. During these moments, the game gets all Eternal Darkness on the player, which was a Gamecube game back in the day that continually fucked with the player. As Bruce hallucinates, things get weird. Camera angles begin tilting, walls decays and crumble away revealing odd spiraling vortexes and rain soaked alleyways.

And then finally there’s the ultimate Kojima riffage – the game breaks the fourth wall. At one point in the game, the screen freezes, jolts, and goes black. It loads up what seems to be the first cinematic, only Joker is driving the Batmobile. Dude kills you and you’re greeted with the “Game Over” screen. Anyone who has played MGS or ED probably has an idea what’s going on, but hopefully it tricks some peeps. You click continue thinking you’ve died, and the game continues rocking into another cinematic of Wayne punching out of the dirt of his own grave.

Fucking awesome.

All of this works because Eidos makes the gameplay their own. Their homage to various genres make sense given the nature of Batman’s character, and the hallucinations don’t feel forced, but rather allow Dini the opportunity to examine Wayne’s shattered psyche. The game is a dripping love letter sent from Dini and Eidos to the fans of Batman and video games. It doesn’t feel forced at any point, and Dini’s ability to tie interworking plots around multiple members of Batman’s rogues’ gallery lets Eidos rock the fuck out and get hallucinogenic and odd.

It’s an absurd, gorgeous, well-orchestrated Batman game. For once.

- Caffeine Powered