Things My Parents Refuse to Buy Me Part 1: Army Ants
“Grab the eggs.”
I remember attending kindergarten in San Francisco at the Presidio Hill School with feelings of hate and dread. I never understood the other people I went to school with and was pretty sure they didn’t like me.
Army Ants were cheap, unposeable, unpainted figurines of ants holding modern human weapons. The boys of my grade would bring these to school with them and make them fight each other. My parents saw these as being the cheap garbage they were and refused to get them for me.
I wonder about people like Greg Competition and Me. Why do we want to own so many things? Normal people can appreciate a thing of beauty without feeling a need to possess it and fill up their homes with objects. Is it loneliness? Fear of death? It can’t just simply be a fanatical appreciation of the things we find beautiful, can it?
- Toilet Cobra
August 30th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
don’t make part ones if you’re never going to back it up with a part two
August 30th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
I completely forgot these things existed, but I think I have a million of them. The song had been lost somewhere in my head, because as soon as I played that video I remembered every word. I wonder if I could find my army ants. I know I have a shit load of my old toys in an attic somewhere but I ripped all the legs of my he-men a long time ago. There are Ghostbusters and Ninja Turtles and Transformers for sure, but where did all the Madballs go?
August 30th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
My parents wouldn’t buy these for me either (much like Food Fighters & Barnyard Commandos), but I somehow managed to get my hands on some back in the day.
August 30th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
If Army Ants don’t your dad Vietnam flashbacks he’s a filthy draft dodger!
August 31st, 2009 at 11:11 am
Oh man I had all of those toys that Lego mentioned. Army Ants, Barnyard Commandos and Food Fighters were awesome. I also had that cheap spin off of Gobots, where instead of turning into anything awesome the robots just turned into rocks.