I Make My Own Stanley Cup
Yeah man. When the Buffalo Sabres make the NHL Playoffs, I make my own Stanley Cup. That’s one homemade Cup above, and here’s another one.
When the playoffs are on, I keep my faux Cup prominently perched in my living room. That way, everyone who comes over knows that I’m the kind of asshole who’s motivated and drunk enough to make a big-ass fake trophy out of empty Molson Canadian cans, duct tape, Herb Alpert records, a plastic bowl from the dollar store, and aluminum foil. They also know that when I say I can’t hang out tomorrow night because I’m doing something else, what I’m doing is drinking pops and watching hockey. And they accept it because they’re my friends and they know I like sports, even if when they think of sports they think of iced canes, diamond bags, etc.
Hell I’ve liked sports since I was a kid. To prove it, here’s a picture of me as a young youth, wearing sweatpants and this crazy Sabres shirt my old man got me when I went to a game at age 7. The letters were puffy and the fake paint splatter was neon pink. Now that I’m old, I still like sports. MOTHERFUCKIN’ SPORTS, dudes.
And that’s why I’ve been asked to tap out some sports talk in this space a couple times a week, every week, starting now – so you, Bloglin reader, can enjoy a lumpy chunk of sports mixed in with your diet of Mishka gore & gruel.
I’ll be barfing out reactions to baseball, football, basketball, and hockey – especially hockey – right here in this space. But I’ll also prattle on about whatever else I feel like – i.e., if I want to talk about how much I enjoy the mindnumbing drone of the vuvuzela, then I’ll do it. Or if I want to talk about how corny Derek Jeter musta been in high school, or how much the Bengals’ Andre Smith probably hates hates this picture, or how I kinda like these new Minnesota Wild third jerseys. If it’s sports-related and I’m thinking about it, I’m just gonna go in, like those kids who spray-painted a giant dick on Leodis McKelvin’s front lawn Monday night.
I should note up front that I’ve promised to keep the Western New York homerism to a minimum over here. For detailed, self-indulgent descriptions of, say, what your still-beating heart looks like after Tom Brady rips it out of your chest on national TV, or what it’s like when the power shuts off in the middle of a game at Ralph Wilson Stadium, you can check out my old blog, The Stencil.
In the meantime, I’m going to kick things off by making a half-assed prediction that you can call me on later: Los Angeles meets Los Angeles in the World Series. Los Angeles wins.
Ok, more later. I gotta go read some liveblogs of preseason hockey games. I’m on my grind this year – the Death Adders FHL draft approacheth.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Go Pens!!!
September 18th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
GO LEAFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 18th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
new wild jers is ok i guess.
the old one was really a piece of art tho. prob the most detailed logo i can think of since the NYR Lady Liberty.
September 18th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I don’t understand why the Wild didn’t just use that jersey as their uniform instead of the terrible maroon/forest green combo they have now.
September 18th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
I love the wild’s colors
September 18th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I’m not mad at the Wild’s colors, but they’re divisive – my old DJ partner P. Jones fuckin loved em, and my fiancee who’s from Minneapolis hates em.
Really the eternal bummer for me about the Wild is that the logo/name is just never, ever gonna be as good as the North Stars. That was obviously classic material. Kinda like how the T-Wolves will never, ever have a name/logo as good ast he Minneapolis Lakers.
Wonder how many games Gaborik’s gonna miss for the Rangers this year. I put the over under at 30.
Also, passably funny hockey humor in the guise of a review of NHL 10 here:
http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2009/09/nhl-2010-review.html
Best line:
“The much-hyped ‘first person fighting’ mode is every bit as good as advertised. When you throw a perfectly timed uppercut that connects with your unsuspecting opponent’s face, you can actually see the blood splatter onto the cab’s dashboard.”
September 18th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
“MOTHERFUCKIN’ SPORTS, dudes.” Quite.
(go pack go)
September 18th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I have to disagree. I honestly feel that the Wild’s logo is the best sorts logo to have been made in the last decade. It’s modern while very classic looking unlike say the Predators, Thrashers or Blue Jackets logos. Those don’t evoke any sense of respect, they scream “EXPANSION TEAM!”.
he only other great NHL logo to come out this decade is the new Coyotes howling Coyote which also has that modern yet classic logo feel.
It’s bear silhouette with the forest and night sky perfectly making out the bear’s facial features. I love it and not because it has anything to do with a Bear. I also really think the Wild is a good name… sounds like a rugged college or pee wee hockey team.
And the forest green and crimson just really evokes the Pacific Northwest for me, so I think it’s fitting.
September 18th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
My brother went to school with a kid from Buffalo, and he said that he had never met a hockey fan so insanely into the team. Us being from Boston, my brother said “Dude, just imagine how Bostonians are about the Red Sox…that’s them about the Sabres.”
God love you fucks!
September 18th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I feel this post man. Go Lakers, Kings, Ducks, Doyers. I’m in the DAHL showin the east how the west plays…
September 19th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Western NY homerism is only good when talking about the NFL.
Furthermore…
HABS.
September 20th, 2009 at 10:16 am
@big baby: no way! WNY homerism is always a good thing.
high five for tuffalo pride. home opener today.
let’s go buffalo!
September 20th, 2009 at 10:51 am
the bills make me want to shout.
September 21st, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I think Minnesota’s jersey’s combo is great. But the logo itself, is brutal. It’s just so corny and ‘modern’. But i have a bias towards very vintage/throwback looking uniforms (read: Red Sox, Yankees, Bruins, Blackhawks, Leafs, et al)
But Caps, you’re right. I think this all stems from the fact that their name is the Wild. God. What a terrible name. I almost felt that the NHL should have mandated Dallas to give Minnesota their name back because the Minnesota North Stars was probably one of the best name AND logo in sports history.
September 22nd, 2009 at 8:00 pm
I don’t know what to do without your all Buffalo all the time sports discussion. But I like this format. I want to see a pic of you and your dad at a Red Sox game as a kid. I know you’ve got one. I’m just glad you’re writing about sports. Well done.