See that bear? I know who my editors are over here.

Goddamn fantasy football has got me watching the goddamn Dallas Cowboys, so I figured I might as well wile away the 4th quarter by tapping out some notes from the past weekend’s professional football contests.

• Jets fans, rejoice. Your quarterback is a golden god and your head coach is an American Buddha. Another week, another win.  Hell, even the old NY Titans jerseys – featuring a sodden color combination that obviously hearkens back to a time before color photography – look good in victory. But I would caution you, o revelers, to enjoy it now – next Sunday brings the Saints, and they’re on a tear, too. Prior to the season’s start, Jets-Saints may have seemed an unlikely marquee match-up, maybe. But the NFL is beloved in large part because of its capricious nature – each year, a new darkhorse team or two comes galloping around the bend, making the army of “NFL analysts” look as reliable as drunk palmreaders. Who saw the Jets at 3-0? Not me, man. Not me. And that’s the genius of a league that has sported a better than 50% turnover rate in playoff teams from one year to the next since 2002. Every dog has its day.

• Speaking of dogs and days and the sun shining on dog ass every once in a while, congratulations to the Detroit Lions. You fuckers earned that one. I saw this one guy at the bar during Week One wearing a Stafford jersey and his girlfriend, who was conspicuously devoid of any identifying team colors or logos, just looked so sad.

• One thing I love about YouTube is the DIY sports commentary, and some of the most entertaining I’ve found is a group of dudes who call themselves Righteous Talk. For a representative sample, check out their “They Suck Cause They Suck” bit from last week up above. Classic material. On Tom Brady: “Your ass old. All of a sudden shit ain’t perfect, you ain’t playin Madden – now you can’t hit nobody, huh?” Ahahahaaaaaa. The third dude – Ru – is the best, so wait for his part. He calls out every GM in the league: “THEY SUCK CAUSE THEY FUCKIN SUCK.”

• Had to post up the Seahawks’ Tropical Skittles uniforms. I hope kids in the future will wear them and tell me I was wrong about them, but to me it’s like an MS Paint bucket fill. I miss rappers wearing jerseys in videos because these would be choice.

• I just got married at City Hall on Friday, and my wife (whoa – it’s rad to type that) is from Minnesota. My in-laws are all big Vikings fans, which is cool with me because the Vikes are the only other team that’s 0-4 in Super Bowls. Anyways, I posted up at a bar for 6 hours with them on Sunday and watched ol’ Brett “Cash 4 Clunkers” Favre win another last-second game against all odds. It was cool -  one of our teams needed to win for the sake of good omens and auspicious beginnings, and I knew who had the burden of production there – but I can tell that the in-laws still haven’t really come to grips with having #4 in purple. My father-in-law, for example, was kinda suspicious of the old man all game, and even lit out for a smoke before the magic happened, figuring it was done. He rushed back in when the bar erupted. Kept smiling all through the Bills game.

More sporting observations:

• After that catch, all I could think about was all the little kids I saw at the Minnesota State Fair over Labor Day weekend wearing purple Favre t-shirts. I bet those youngsters were psyched. SPORTS, man. Little dudes are gonna be throwing that pass and catching that catch and calling that call in playgrounds across Minnesota and the Dakotas all winter long.

• Most unlikely undefeated team? Jets make it close, but it’s the Bronks. Those dudes were supposed to suck and be demoralized after Cutler, Josh McDaniels was a lame, etc. But while I’m still laughing about this Brandon Marshall practice video, Denver’s three up after three games. I know that win against Cincy in week 1 was all luck, but still. I’m kinda impressed. Least surprising undefeated team? To me, it’s the Ravens. Baltimore had two cupcakes in the Browns and Chiefs. Nevertheless, the Ravens have looked very solid, even though Joe Flacco still reminds me of some dude who works at the car wash down the block.

• The Monday nighter is mercifully done. Cowboys got their win. So can we stop talking about the stadium for a minute? I get it: It’s new, there’s a large-ish flatscreen involved, it’s in Texas, etc.

• Everyone know about the506.com? It’s a handy little site that posts NFL TV coverage distribution maps for the entire US of A every week on Wednesday or thereabouts. Real useful. I have Bills season tickets like an idiot, so I’m in Buffalo for a chunk of Sundays, and I usually head to this one spot in Greenpoint for road games. But when I can, I like to stay home and drink cheap, and this site alerts me to the rare possibility that my game will be on local TV and I can grieve in the comfort of my own home.

OK, that does it for me. I’ll get up in the comments, so gimme a shout. I know this installment was especially football-heavy, but that’ll change quick. I’m gonna try to bang out an NHL preview on Wednesday, following our Death Adders league draft tomorrow nite, because it’s getting cold at night and hockey season is finally here. I got my Center Ice paid up, so get yours. And the baseball pennant races are quickly reaching their moderately-dramatic conclusion. Like I said, watch those Twins, and here come the Braves…

- Caps