So some of you may know that venerable sportswriter Frank Deford has a gig on NPR, and you’ve probably heard it if you’ve ever checked into “Morning Edition” on a Wednesday. Every week, Deford – he’s the senior writer at Sports Illustrated, and his bio picture looks exactly like his voice sounds – uncorks a pithy observation or two about the latest happenings in the world of sports. It’s kinda like what I’m trying to do over here, except that ol’ Frank is ancient, learned and doesn’t use the word “fuck.”

I’m usually pretty cool with Frank’s segments, since he tends to find an old-timey, common-sensical stance on whatever sporting controversy he’s delving into, with an emphasis on the game and the players over the cash and the nonsense.  It sounds corny, but he pulls it off without being an old softy lost in nostalgia or some cranky, fist-shakin, get-off-my-lawn type. Frank’s kind of a bemused truthteller, with an old journlalist’s sense of story and hook.

Anyways, this week, Frank takes on the NHL’s southern strategy – i.e., the league’s push over the past few decades into the southern United States. Using Canadian billionaire Jim Balsillie’s continuing pursuit of the bankrupt Phoenix Coyotes as a topical peg, Deford argues that the NHL should have accepted its role as a regional sport years ago and been happy with it. Indeed, the piece is titled “Why Can’t the NHL Just Keep it Canadian?”

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The Bloglin ICP love is back (like a vertebrae)! Eric Wareheim posted this earlier on his Twitter, check out Bill O’Reilly grillin’ Violent J! I’m not sure who to root for!

PS: Violent J’s speaking voice is pretty awesome.

PPS: Is “did your nuts drop yet” referring to puberty? I’m not sure I understand the question.

As much as I write off anything and everything in terms of Canadian content on television these days I have to consider myself lucky for some of the oddball entertainment that came out of seventies and eighties in the form of childrens shows.

I can remember waking up every Saturday and Sunday morning to The Hilarious House of Frightenstein which included a whole slew of sketches based around a castle filled with goons, monsters, mad scientists, a midget vampire, a stoned guru and a flying hippie with super powers. Canadian comedian Billy Van played almost every character on the show and would spend a few weeks at a time filming an entire season’s worth of footage for each of his characters thus leaving each episode without any kind of continuity or theme. Looking back however, I think this was the real charm of the show. It gave a half assed effort at trying to come across as some kind of alt-Sesame Street but ultimately ended of being a melting pot of weirdo characters, confusing writing and hilariously awkward improv. The Maharishi was always good for some WTF moments:

The show was filmed in Ontario’s own Buffalo, N.Y. aka Hamilton at the local station CHCH 11 and is arguably the only good thing to come out of the city ever since. Some of you South of Canada might remember this show as it was picked up by a few American networks and aired throughout the states and drew attention from all kinds of heads including horror guru Vincent Price who contributed the intro and a number of monologues to each episode.

I have to admit that as I grow older I begin to realize just how incredible this show really was and how much I miss the Wolfman and his fat buddy Igor struggling to dance in front of the Chroma-Key to some golden oldies while swinging bat guitars and plastic baseball bats.

Part Chimp – Thriller (2009) [Rock Action] // Grade: B+

Enter a monolith…  Always a difficult band to classify or even explain, the expansive UK group has flown under the radar for most of this decade, last seeing light with 2005′s fantastic I Am Come. With Thriller, the band delivers once again, only profoundly accenting their engulfing attack with the sort of flavor you get when stewing in your own sludge for a few years.

Thriller delivers harder than ever before on the dense & heavy Sleep & Melvins influenced riffalogy (“Trad”, “Dirty Sun”,  & “Tomorrow Midnite”) alongside the sort of noise riddled assault synonymous with Post-Hardcore stalwarts like Unwound & Quicksand (“FFFFF”, “Tomorrow Midnite” & “Today 3″). Thriller also boldly submerges into a newer melodic dimension that takes the band head-first into some very interesting Post-Gazerish territory, where more so than ever the distortion is it’s own instrument rather than some byproduct of the guitar. Fuzz and feedback are wielded like Conan does his broad sword… swooping strokes accented by calculated stabs. Thriller is a full body immersion whose seductive melodic sustain is all that’s keeping you from being smothered.

I can forgive you if you’ve never heard of Part Chimp before reading this,  but I couldn’t forgive you if as a fan of sludge, Doom, and Post-Hardcore if you didn’t give this album at least one solid spin. Thriller is sort of album you explore not listen to. Trust me you’ll be hooked and soon enjoying the rest of Part Chimp’s small but powerful discography.

Fixed presents Cut | Wednesday, September 23rd
• Caspa (Featuring MC Rod Azlan, DubPolice)
• Star Eyes (Trouble & Bass)
• Code of Arms (Konkrete Jungle)

Le Poisson Rouge
158 Bleecker st.
New York, NY

$10 advanced tickets
$15 door

powered by Mishka NYC

In this episode: Toilet Cobra goes to Philadelphia on a bus that smells like shit and dicks and has fun bouncing around like a doofus to deafening rhythmic music. He spoke to some other doofuses about stupid shit. It’s that kind of show. Stupid people talking about stupid shit. Also the long awaited Diplo interview in which we delve into his early years and he explains why he makes gang sign hand gestures whenever his photo is taken. Skerrit Bwoy also makes an appearance and tells the uninitiated about his village.

And don’t forget to get your The Creepy Touch T-Shirt!

Girls - Album (2009) [True Panther] // Grade: C

I’m really looking forward to the eventual blood feud that will ensue between Girls and The Drums for who will be the official soundtrack to the Spring 2010 A.P.C. catalog. I can’t wait ’til it comes in the mail and I sit down with both of their albums and watch the fur fly as I crown a king of Madras! Hopefully whoever loses will still be able to grant me a great khaki shopping soundtrack for a Sunday at J. Crew.

P.S. Any TV executives reading this… “Laura” would make an excellent theme song to whatever eventual Hipster based sitcom (or Dramady) you’ll be looking to develop in the next year or two. Picture it… Zooey Deschanel as Laura and her wild adventures in Tha ‘Burg.

P.P.S. I really liked that guitar lick in “Morning Light” a whole lot more when it was originally part of “Mote”. But that’s just me.

I enjoyed the shit out of “The Fog” last week, with it’s quicker pace and developments, but that episode just turned out to be the potato skins to my entree. “Guy Walks Into an Advertising Agency” is one of the greatest episodes of Mad Men of all time, I’ll fight you if you think otherwise. It’s hilarious, emotional, and a limey gets his foot destroyed by a lawnmower! On the Close to the 4th of July! How subtle. It was also the first episode this season where I felt the entire Sterling Cooper ensemble got to strut their stuff, and run over new personnel’s feet with a John Deere tractor they were riding around the office. It had some other funny moments, like when Peggy commented how the champagne was good and there’s a perfect comic pause before Don says, “I don’t think so.”

Christina Hendricks hit it out the park in this one, I really doubt this is the end for her at SC. She got to let her guard down at the office and drop the sex kitten act for a bit. I almost felt sorry for Dr. Greg (sorry, it’s just Greg now) until I remember he’s a rapist. Then I wanted to stab him again. She’s got to leave this bastard by the end of the season? Right? And her scene with Don in the hospital waiting room proved again how good Mad Men is at saying so much through silence.

So much blood they had to squeegee it off the walls.

Roger’s comment on the severed foot was gold: “Somewhere in this business, this has happened before.” Why was his name left off the flow chart? You guys think this was intentional? He’s a ’50s man living in the ’60s, and it’s increasingly becoming an issue this season. Have we even seen him do any work this season? I think the one time we have he showed up late for the MSG lunch.

Much thanks to WarmingGlow who posted this gif. I could watch it forever. Harry looks like he is one second from vomiting.

Wolverine Old Man Logan Giant-Size #1
Hell fucking yes, it’s on. This son of a bitch is the one-shot conclusion to Millar and McNiven’s Old Man Logan storyline. In case you’ve been living in a hole filled with suck and a lack of utter awesomeness, Old Man Logan is probably the best Wolverine storyline of the last, like, you know, ten years.

Now listen, I know that’s not a difficult thing to pull off. Most Wolverine storylines these past few years have usually involved Luke Cage, the Avengers, or like, X-Force where Wolverine is ejaculating blades covered in blood to be totally X-TREME.

In fact, Millar is probably only competing against himself, and maybe Joss Whedon. Whatever, still.

The past seven installments of the Old Man Logan storyline have found good old Logan on a post-apocalyptic journey with Hawkeye to deliver some mystery goods in order to make some quick cash. Logan’s a broken old dude living in a world where the superheroes lost the throwdown to end all throwdowns. Living on a shitty farm with his family, he needs to make some cheddar or else the Hulk Family will like, rip his wife in half and fuck the gaping mess. I’m not making this up. Through the way Millar has thrown every single shade of awesome at the reader save for one thing: Wolverine’s claws. Millar has thrown Kingpins and dinosaurs and mole men and the Red Skull as the president of the country at us, but not the quintessential berserker rage.

Collectively, as a fan base, we’ve been edging towards orgasm for like a year now. This issue seems to be where we all get to rip our frothy load.

The issue description says it enough:

Wolverine returns and unleashes a tidal wave of bloody revenge! It’s Wolverine versus the Hulk Gang to the death!

Seriously. The reason this is going to be so fucking stellar is because Millar has written a brilliant, tortured Logan without resorting to even the hint of a claw for seven issues. And now this is the money shot.

The entire seven-issue arc has been standalone, and if you haven’t read it, I can’t recommend it enough. It’s for both haters and lovers of Marvel’s most over-exposed cash cow. An understated Logan has starred as a battered and broken husband and father. And throughout the arc, Millar continues to examine the notions of escape that he seems obsessed with in his comics – using this comic to examine if Wolverine can escape being the bloodthirsty alcoholic we all know and love and make an attempt at something resembling happiness.

I’m guessing the answer is no.

Also dropping is Fantastic Four #571. I dropped FF after Millar left it two issues ago, but I’ve only heard good things about the first issue by Hickman/Davis. Then there’s Dark X-Men The Confession, where Joe Quesada admits to the public that Marvel’s direction does in fact blow. And finally Halo Helljumper #3, which is probably crap but thanks to the franchise will probably outsell great titles like Daredevil. I’m not bitter.

Kaboom Vol. 1 Limited Edition Hardcover
Oh shit! Does anyone else remember Kaboom? It was totally amazing for like six months back in the mid-1990’s. I was like thirteen back then and the rage at the time was to  ninja an anime vibe for your artwork. Joe Madureira got that shit rolling on Uncanny X-Men and people like Jeff Matsuda followed in his wake. I was absolutely in love with it. I was like FUCK I LOVE BIG EYES AND MOTION LINES. I blame it on the onset of puberty. With all those new hairs sprouting up, a lot of crazy shit made sense. For instance: watching the WWF, and jerking off to photoshopped pictures of Tyra Banks onto of pornstar heads, that I downloaded from AOL chat rooms.

I hadn’t even thought about this title in forever, but seeing that it was coming out for release as a limited edition hardcover yanked my ass down memory lane. I’m going to spend the better part of the afternoon digging through my comic boob library for these originals. Either they’re safely collated, or they died a warrior’s death by the side of my toilet eons ago.

Wednesday Comics #12
I’m searching desperately for something I want to give a fuck about with DC this week. After I glazed my fingers with Marvel’s goop, I mean, the least I could do is show some love for their Distinguished Competition. Yeah, I really have nothing.

I haven’t been following Wednesday Comics, though I have been buying them. I know, typical fucking comic book guy. Buying shit he isn’t reading. Fuck me. However, I love the alternate approach to storytelling and narrative, and anything that approaches something differently then we’re used to is something I’m willing to support. Since I’m a lazy fuck and they come out weekly, I fell behind on issues of Wednesday’s Comics pretty quickly. The final issue comes out this week, and I’m probably going to sit down and read one release a day for twelve days or whatever. My brother has assured me that there’s some dope shit in there, especially since we’re both Paul Pope fanboys.

I’m interested to see what the net outcome of this experiment will be. The owner of my local comic shop says that sales aren’t that great, and that doesn’t surprise me. It seems like an even more inaccessible way to distribute comic books.

It’s neat, it’s novel, but I just don’t think it brought any new fans in. When I first read about it, the impression I got was that they were hoping it’d rope in some new fans. If that was the intent, they failed I suppose. But if they were trying to present a new way to experience a comic book narrative, then I think they’ve done something neat.

Gravediggaz - 6 Feet Deep (1994)

Vs.

Ozzy Osbourne – Blizzard of Ozz (1980)

The Game is simple… if only one could exist which would it be?  What’s more important… personal relevance, cultural significance, or simply being the better album all other things aside? Choice is yours…