Planetary #27
The last issue of Planetary drops tomorrow, and I’m fucking pumped. Planetary has been one of my favorite series since it began back in 1941 or whatever. Planetary began when I was a junior in high school. I just graduated college after eight years of meandering. And it’s just finally finishing. Twenty-seven issues spread out across like, ten years. Odysseus, you ain’t got nothing on this journey.

But fuck if it isn’t worth it.

I’m a huge Warren Ellis fanboy, so I’ll read a comic from him about a talking toilet bowl that fights dragons. But Planetary? It’s the real shit.

The title is a trippy deconstruction of just about every superhero tale ever. It also throws in a zillion pop-culture references as well as the typical Ellis hero: Some old, jaded dude who must be coaxed out of seclusion to kick some various kind of ass.

The art isn’t exactly an eyesore either. John Cassaday is the man. His artwork has a certain pop to it, and I’m glad that he was able to finish out the series. A lot of the delays in the title came from him working on Astonishing X-Men. But seeing it through the end is awesome, since so much of the style comes from his approach to the title.

If you haven’t been following Planetary, or if you gave up on it during one of its five-year sabbaticals, I recommend you to get back into the game.

X-Babies #1
Oh shit, the X-Babies! These dudes are a blast from the past. Anyone who remembers the weird-ass Mojoverse back in the day knows that these little shits were created by Mojo because he wanted his own gang of ragtag X-Men. Except like, he totally failed and had them shrunk down and shit. Well apparently they’re getting their own series. Which makes sense, since everything seems to get its own series these days. I give this title four issues, tops. And then there will be an annual, a special, a crossover with Dark Reign: Embryotic Avengers, and finally cancellation.

If anything, I just dig the X-Babies coming back because it harkens back to a time when the X-titles made sense to me. It wasn’t like seventy-three titles, that are trying to simultaneously balance X-Events and Marvel events, while telling their own stories. Bring back Dazzler and Longshot and let’s fucking rock.

Star Wars Invasion #4
Somewhere out in this massive universe there’s a Star Wars nerd who is eagerly awaiting this release. I’d like to find this comic book nerd and throw them down the stairs by their ears. It’s not that I hate the Star Wars’ Expanded Universe. But the friggin’ thing is too massive for me to follow. There are storylines in the books that span thirty novels, there’s like a zillion comic books coming out. And yeah, I’m a little resentful that some douche who reads every single comic book and novel knows more Star Wars trivia than me. I think that may make me the ultimate tool.

Apparently in this title the Yuuzhan Vong have plunged the galaxy into war. Obviously. What’s a Star Wars title without galactic war? I know the Vong. They were actually in the last Star Wars book I read. They’re all alien and have organic ships and shit and they’re undetectable through the Force. Pretty cool.

In Invasion #4, we see Leia and shit running around with her kids doing stuff. Hanging out with pirates and the what-not. I find it impressive that the Star Wars universe is “expanded”, yet every title revolves around the Skywalker and Solo families and their kids. Not too expanded, eh! And seriously, if this title is apparently twenty years after A New Hope, doesn’t that make Leia like forty? She’s too old for this shit! Do you think Leia still rocks no bra underneath her white robes still? She must be sagging, and her kids are all like, “Mom, we can see your fucking nipples. Throw a bra on. And why is it every time Han and Chewie (fuck you he’s not dead) go out to “work on something”, Chewie returns with sticky matted fur and Dad is smiling?”

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