“Terrorists just took over their school. Now years of bad behavior are about to pay off.”

Written and directed by Daniel Petrie Jr. (Beverly Hills Cop I, ,II, III), Toy Soldiers is a classic of early ’90s action and one of the first R rated movies I ever saw. The movie is a terrific blend of teen rebellion, pulp villains, and bazookas, which manages to be more intelligent than cheesy. What’s supposed to be funny is funny and scenes of suspense are genuinely suspenseful. There’s also a ton of sleeveless apparel. A lot of shit I get nostalgic over is close ot my heart just because it hovers on the fringe of my consciousness, and while most media I revisit turns out to be nothing but a disappointment, Toy Soldiers has just gotten better.

The movies stars Sean Austin (Billy) as the pseudo-leader of a gang of misfits at the Regis Prep School for Boys (AKA “Rejects” School). The school is taken over by Colombian terrorists, led by Luis Cali (Andrew Divoff). Cali takes over the school and demands the release of his father, a drug lord being held in American custody. But instead of sitting back and waiting for it all to play out, Billy and his gang decide to fight back. The movie also features the Jersey mafia, CIA rogue agents, and amazing ’90s production design on display in the dorm rooms (see: Guns n Roses skate deck).

The young cast is great, and includes Wil Wheaton (Strak Trek: The Next Generation) and Keith Coogan (Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead). Regis’ faculty include Louis Gossett Jr. (The Lazarus Files) as the dean and Denholm Elliott (Brody from Indiana Jones) as the headmaster. The elaborate plan the gang schemes up to aid the FBI is ridiculous, and includes a soccer ball, a remote-control airplane, and a staged asthma attack. Whatever works.

Toy Soldiers is available now on Netflix Watch Instantly, so you should watch it instantly. Highly recommended if you like shit like Red Dawn or Under Siege or kick-ass movies in general.

- Oh Mars