I’m sure it’s no secret just how much we here at Мишка & The Bloglin L-O-V-E Horror cinema. Nothing gets some of us as excited each year than the promise some new horror trailer brings. Thankfully we at the Bloglin have a gorehound with no compare in The Notorious P.I.G. He not only get the chance to see many of these early on but is more than willing to report back which one’s are worth the time to watch.

I’ll warn you that there is some crossover between this list and our general Top 20 films of 2009 by Oh Mars. But if anything that should just be viewed as an example at just how good some of these films truly were, Horror or not! So with no further ado, The Bloglin’s Best of 2009: Top 10 Horror Films!
- My Pal the Crook

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2009 was viewed by a fair amount of horror fans to be a “Meh” year for horror movies with a lack of clear cut definitive horror films that really raised the bar for the genre. I was originally of this opinion until I started putting this year’s list together. Upon re-examination I have to admit, while 2009 lacked quantity, it made up for in quality. I found there to be a solid offering of well constructed, often pleasantly surprising, horror movies.

Honorable Mentions: Final Destination 3D, Thirst, & Friday the 13th

*Reviews May Contain Some Spoilers*

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10) Orphan [Warner Bros.] // Director: Jaume Collett-Serra

Acclaimed commercial director Jaume Collett-Serra returns to the horror genre with an interesting take on an evil child. The high point in this film is definitely Isabelle Fuhrman’s performance as Esther the recently adopted child of the Coleman’s played by Vera Farmiga (hot) and Peter Saarsgard. Seeing the trailers early on I felt underwhelmed so it came as a nice surprise to see how well the movie played out. Intelligent story, great acting, and an interesting twist at the end.

As a side note: horror fans will have certain categories of a film they look to fulfill like kills, boobs, suspense, scares, soundtrack, etc. I have a category of my own and that is children’s drawing’s in horror movies. I dunno, I just like them and look out for them and when I see one I judge it on sort of a pass/fail basis. For example psychic kids almost always fail cause they’re basically tracers. Esther however gets a flying pass based on sheer quantity and scale alone. Her technique is a bit “Naive Art” but the content is there.

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9) H2: Halloween [Dimension] // Director: Rob Zombie

I’m a fan of Rob Zombie’s films most notably The Devil’s Rejects and while H2 is definitely no The Devil’s Reject’s I still found it to be worth putting on the list. I wasn’t a fan of pretty much all of the things die hard Halloween fans hated about this movie. I didn’t like the weird plot involving Deborah Myers, I thought the fact that you could see his face and the Nomadic aspect of his existence served to demystify him a little too much. I wasn’t a fan of the fact that the movie is just not a cohesive piece and was pretty much slapped together at the last minute and I certainly wish that Phil Parmet had stayed on to shoot the film over Brandon Trost.

If one where looking at this as a shining example of cinema (or a shining example of the Halloween series) I could see how you may be disappointed. However, this one gets the ass end of this list based solely on kills alone. There where many and they where flinch worthy and unforgiving, not to mention totally unmotivated. Rob Zombie really knows how to capture a sense of despair and brutality unmatched by most in the horror movie genre. Too bad the rest of the film itself deteriorated after the first 20 minutes, I thought as a story it got off to a pretty good start.

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8) The Last House on the Left [Rogue] // Director: Dennis lliadis

Wes Craven continues to produce great remakes of his classic films with his latest, The Last House on the Left. A well shot revenge picture directed by first time horror movie director Dennis lliadis. The violence was definitely over the top at times border-lining on humorous (especially the end), save for a lengthy and uncomfortable rape scene. The parents played by Monica Potter and Tony Goldwyn did a great job portraying two people pushed to avenge their daughter’s rape and attempted murder while Sara Paxton does a great job of playing a daughter who gets raped and murdered. (Almost) A simple and well executed tale of revenge.

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7) Zombieland [Sony] // Director: Ruben Fleischer

It seems these days that if you’re a commercial/music video director looking to break into features the quickest route is through horror films. (Francis Lawrence, Marcus Nispel, Dave Meyers, Jaume Collett Serra, etc) Up until now it’s usually been met with disastrous results, however Ruben Fleischer (M.I.A.’s “Galang”, Dizzy Rascal’s “Fix Up Look Sharp”) seems to have hit his stride right out of the gate with Zombieland.

Fleischer’s made a humorous Zombie film with great gore, good effects, heart and possibly the best cameo in years coming in the form of Bill Murray. A fun, consistent, movie that starts with a great opening credit sequence and comes full circle wrapping up with a nice sense of closure.

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6) Trick R Treat [Warner Bros.] // Director: Michael Dougherty

The first horror movies I saw as a kid were both Creepshows, Tales From the Dark Side, Tales from the Crypt (TV) etc. I loved these connected horror stories with a humorous moral or lesson to be learned at the end and as such have a special place in my heart for Trick R Treat. It’s certainly not ground breaking in any way and doesn’t raise the bar but it’s a fun film that ties together well.

Certainly well executed enough that it deserved a theatrical release, Trick R Treat was actually originally slated to come out in 2007 but got shelved until a DVD finally made it’s way out this year. I mean, why not capitalize on both Halloween (the holiday) and Anna Paquin’s True Blood fame?

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5) The House of the Devil [Magnet] // Director: Ti West

Ti West managed to faithfully pay homage to 70′s horror and create something totally his own with The House of the Devil. Well shot and really well art directed, West and his team manage to create a creepy environment within a very well paced film in which distractions never arise to remove the viewers attention from the film.

Jocelyn Donahue (The Burrowers) gives a perfectly understated performance as Samantha, a broke college student desperately seeking a means of income. I thought the film was well paced, tense and heavy, really doing a good job of showcasing the house until shit inevitably hits the fan.

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4. The Children [Ghost House Underground] // Director: Tom Shankland

The concept of filicide in horror is nothing new, but rarely do the dilemma’s that come along with it play such a primary part and driving force in a film. Yes, this film is primarily about possessed children and the difficulty that comes along with first coming to grips with the fact that they are no longer your beloved little booger factories, and then having to come to grips with the fact that you’re going to have to annihilate them.

In films with possessed or evil kids the children usually possess some sort of hyper intelligence (The Good Son, Orphan, Village of the Damned, etc) however in this movie the children are way to young to form cohesive sentences which is creepier to me than a devious mind and ultimately makes it more disturbing when they are finally given the pink slip. Shankland unapologetically stays away from the how’s and the why’s of what’s happening to the kids which adds to the film’s singular vision and mystique. A solid offering and an interesting take on a popular concept.

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3) [Rec] 2 [Filmax] // Directors: Jaume Belaguero & Paco Plaza

[Rec] 2 picks up directly after [Rec] ends with 4 members of a SWAT team and a Doctor heading into the building to investigate the disturbance. What follows is basically Aliens. I mean, they do expand on the story a bit in ways that I thought where interesting but if [Rec] was Alien, than [Rec] 2 is Aliens (or any sequel that expands on story a little bit and adds way more action). There are some pretty awesome sequences and probably the most fun I’ve had at a theater this year next to…

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2) Drag Me to Hell [Universal] // Director: Sam Raimi

What’s left to say about Drag Me to Hell really? This movie is the sort of showcase for why anyone falls madly in love with Sam Raimi. It fanatstic that he cares so much for his roots as a director that he not only would return to making a film like this, but that he is still just as good as he ever was in making Horror. Anyone who says otherwise needs their head checked.

For some reason the part where the pots banged together when the Lamia was tormenting Christine in her house made me involuntarily close my eyes. I had to tell myself to get tough.

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1) Antichrist [Zentropa] // Director: Lars Von Trier

A therapist and his wife only identified as “He” and “She” played by Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg retreat to their cabin in the woods (named Eden) to attempt cognitive therapy after the death of their infant son. What follows is the most beautiful, surreal, and disturbing film of 2009. While there are enough scenes to keep the blood thirsty happy it’s the subtly unnerving aspects of this film that truly get under the skin. The performances from Dafoe and Gainsbourg are unbelievable and one can only imagine what Von Trier put them through to achieve such great results. Anthony Dod Mantle’s cinematography is also incredible floating between a more Dogme 95 style of handheld, contrasted by static, stunning visualization sequences.

Antichrist is easily one of the most difficult films to critically analyze. You could write a paper on any one of the many themes permeating this film. Then there’s the man himself: what texts on witchcraft did Von Trier reference throughout this film? Why did he stray so far from the rules of Dogme 95? Is Von Trier a misogynist? The list goes on. Critics were generally divided on this picture, with a positive review sparking as much heated debate as a dissenting one. Personally, I found the elements of the film I identified with to far surpass anything I didn’t identify with and the things that I didn’t identify with seemed to only pique my curiosity. Von Trier has created a remarkable piece of art deserving of multiple viewings, sure to be argued over and debated for years to come.

- Notorious P.I.G.