Today’s my birthday. It’s also the birthday of the legendary Dizzy Dean – St. Louis’ #17, Gashouse Gang ace, older brother of Paul “Daffy” Dean, strikeout king, World Series champ, Hall of Famer. Dizzy would be 100 today. I learned that ol’ Diz and I had the same born day when I was 10 from reading the stats on his APBA baseball card – and for a kid who was weirdly obsessed with ol-timey baseball, that was awesome. I geeked out, and Dean’s been a favorite of mine ever since. But it was easy to be a fan of a dude who’s on record as asking a batter: “Son, what kind of pitch would you like to miss?”

Dean was always good for a quote. For example, before the 1934 season, he predicted that he and his brother would combine to win 45 games for the Cardinals – and, playing a late September doubleheader against Brooklyn, they did it. Dizzy threw a three-hitter for his 27th win in the first game, and Daffy threw a no-hitter for his 18th win in the nightcap. In the locker room following the game, Diz said, “Gee, Paul, if I’d a-known you was gonna throw a no-hitter, I’d a-thrown one too!” That October, the Dean boys would go on to win all 4 games in the World Series for the Cards as they took the Tigers in 7. A country boy from Arkansas, Dean was a big admirer of Satchel Paige,  telling a reporter that “If Satch and I were pitching on the same team, we would clinch the pennant by July Fourth and go fishing until World Series time.”

Diz was kinda the Ochocinco of his time, I guess. Speaking of Chad, I know you saw his birthday truck last weekend, right? Goddamn:

Dang! A pity, then, that 85 was entirely neutralized by Darrelle Revis and the Jets. Not only did it fuck up my picks – I went a respectable 2-2, but still – it was kinda boring football, to be frank. I wanted at least one celebration. And hey, Jersey fans – I see you Crook! – I will grant you that Revis got robbed in the end-of-year awards. Shoulda been defensive player of the year, for damn sure. The man is a force, like some kind of human missile defense system.

My picks for this weekend’s slate after the jump.

The Jets rolled last Saturday, and it was impressive. Nevertheless, I think their run ends in San Diego. The Chargers will be prepared for Ryan’s byzantine blitz schemes, and they won’t make the unforced errors that sunk Cincy. I was really surprised by how miserably Carson Palmer played – maybe the cold fucked with him? – and I don’t see the same happening to Philip Rivers this Sunday evening. If the Jets can keep it close, they have a shot, but they’re not built to play catch-up. If the Chargers go up big early and Sanchez has to throw more than 25 times, good night. I’ll call it San Diego, 27-17. But I’ve been wrong on the Jets all year, so fuck it, who knows.

Typing this, I’m relieved to realize it’s highly unlikely that any of you are checking the Bloglin before calling your bookie this morning. But here goes. I like Arizona to make it a game; they’re the hot pick right now. I see Florio and them are picking Warner’s crew. New Orleans may come out flat at home after having the conference locked up for weeks and closing out the year with three meaningless losses. The Saints haven’t had to show up for a month – can they answer the bell now? Could be dicey, but they’ll wake up in time: Saints, 37-24.

Baltimore-Indy? The Irsay Bowl! Like the Saints, the Colts have been in suspended animation for a few, but I can’t see Peyton bombing like Brady. Baltimore can’t avenge the midnight move; Colts have too many weapons. Indy, 33-17. (Also, Patriots fans – booing? For real? Congratulations, you stumpy bastards, you earned this.)

Dallas-Minnesota is the closest call for me. Save beating up on the Giants in Week 17, Minnesota hit a wall in December as the offense slowed down some. Meanwhile, Romo & Wade have been exorcising demons in Dallas, winning playoff games like it warn’t no thing. Favre… Romo… hell, it’s a toss-up, but I’ll give it to the Vikes on the strength of home-field advantage and a classic fight song. Plus Percy Harvin is the truth. Minnesota, 31-30.

Courageous picks, huh? The home team in every game. But I’m calling it like I see it. Hell I just hope the games are better. As good as GB-ARI was after halftime, each of the other games had me composing mini-essays in my mind about how professional hockey is a superior sport.

Final note: I’m going to Long Island to watch the Sabres play the Islanders tonight. I’ll try to take some pictures and report back on what’s recognized by many sporting observers as the dinkiest rink in the league.

- Caps