In Mourning – Monolith (2010) [Pulverised] // Grade: D+

Turning on In Mourning’s Monolith I was kind of hoping for the best.  I mean, fuck, one of the best albums of all time is Amebix’s Monolith, So maybe this was going to be some kind of tribute crusty shit?  A girl can dream, can’t she?.  Especially after attempting to make it through this bowel tighteningly awful Mnemic garbage. Sadly, all I was granted the gift of a mildly more palatable nu metal, quasi-screamo, metal post throwdown jams.  Think if I bitch hard enough I can pass this shit off to Prolly to review?  He used to wear mesh shorts and Saucony and shit.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, every once in a while In Mourning write a riff that appeals to my wannabe groove metaler southern-bro, but then they go and put some ridiculous guitar harmony over it and move into a blown out barking vocal part that comes up deeply short and less thought out than the singers in Caninus. Some thoughts I took away from listening to this album were:

For fucks sake, seriously? A fucking acoustic interlude?  If this ends in a throwdown part I’m going to punch a trach hole in these morons throats and fuck that. One thrust for every chugachug.

If Dave Mustaine wasn’t a smacked out born again retard, I’d tell him to club you cocksuckers like a baby seal for bastardizing his weirdo middle eastern thrash riffs.

From a more serious point of view, I find nothing new, interesting, or even anything that holds my attention for more than 15 seconds anywhere on this album.  I’m totally uncompelled to listen to the rest of this crap after the 1st song and can’t make it past the 4th.  Just looking at the fucking song lengths makes me wish I was in thumbscrews rather than earphones right now.

Note to metal bands: Unless you are Sabbath, Metallica circa ’85, Sleep or Electric Wizard, keep your fucking songs under four and a half minutes! Got it?

- Jack Crank