Kevin Smith Tricked Me in to Seeing One of His Movies!
I have an awful habit of going to see a movie every couple of weeks even if there is absolutely nothing to see. Well, I’ve got to admit that my habit led me to the lowest depths of desperation when we actually paid to see a Kevin Smith movie last night. Fuck.
I hate Kevin Smith so fucking much. I’m surprised shit like this doesn’t happen to him more often with the number of people in the world that probably hate his fucking guts.
Anyway, Cop Out has Tracy Morgan in it and he’s my achilles heel. I will watch anything with Tracy Morgan in it with eager anticipation. I should have known better that Kevin Smith would make him deliver a bunch of garbage punch lines instead of just letting him do what he does best: show up drunk and take his shirt off. Pause.
I initially thought this movie looked awful but I was given an ounce of hope when the red band trailer dropped. Let me save you the grief I went through and recommend you watch the trailer because it’s the only pleasure you’re going to get out of Cop Out. I understand that this movie is supposed to be a parody of 80′s cop flicks and that all the corn is supposed to be taken with a grain of irony but I don’t care. Kevin Smith blows a million dicks. I’m just sorry Tracy had to be there…and Jason Lee I suppose.
I’ll see you in hell Kevin Smith you fat, un-flight-worthy fuck.
(I’m sorry for swearing so much.)
- Dr. No
March 1st, 2010 at 8:21 pm
What did you expect? Have you seen anything he’s made since Clerks?
March 1st, 2010 at 8:29 pm
No, but this time he baited me with Tracy and I’ll never forgive him for it.
March 1st, 2010 at 8:38 pm
Thanks for letting me know this is a Kevin Smith movie! I actually didnt know and was considering seeing it. I would have ended up shelling out $12 on a ticket only to walk out during the opening credits.
March 1st, 2010 at 9:19 pm
I thought he only edited this shit?
March 1st, 2010 at 11:04 pm
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! What is with this intense vitriol towards Kevin Smith!? Look yeah I know he’s only made two good movies, Clerks and Mallrats but Jesus you guys are acting like he’s Hitler here!
Yeah most of the times he’s stepped to the plate since Mallrats he’s swung and missed, but each of those movies do have their funny moments. Hell the first half of Zack and Miri make a porno was actually pretty funny… the second half was just unbearable though.
Go easy on the big guy already!! I still think the dude has it in him to write a great Superman script if they’ll just let him.
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:51 am
Damn.
I didn’t know this Was a K-Smith movie either. I am not going to see it.
March 2nd, 2010 at 3:33 am
I thought the movie looked like shit. Even though I am a huge fan of Bruce Willis and Kevin Smith. But what is the point of Bruce Willis parodying himself when you could just watch Die Hard With Vengeance and actually be pleased with your movie viewing experience. Totally disagree with you on Tracy Morgan, I rarely find him funny, and there is a huge reason he is not that popular.
Sadly I think this is a first on me disagreeing with you guys on something pop culture related. I suddenly feel a strange void.
And is anyone boycotting Hot Tub Time Machine? Because I am.
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:24 am
…as if Jason Lee has done anything worthy of mentioning since mall rats.
March 2nd, 2010 at 11:28 am
its so nice to here that other people hate kevin smith too, every time i say any thing about kevin smith every body i know thinks im crazy, i used to love K.S. but then i realized hes just like george lucas, he will put out any piece of shit and every body will buy it up because there “loyal fans” or just idiots (i used to love george lucas too)
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Kevin Smith didn’t have Tracy Morgan (who is intolerable) “deliver a bunch of garbage punch lines.” He directed the movie, but he didn’t write it. Shitting on him for poor writing isn’t fair.
Either way, the movie still looks like shit and I’m not going to see it, even though some of it was filmed in my ‘hood.
March 2nd, 2010 at 1:16 pm
I’ll say this for Kevin Smith: his live speaking engagements are pretty fucking funny. He tells a better story in person than he does on celluloid. Even his Twitter melodrama about being too fat to fly on Southwest Airlines was funny.
March 2nd, 2010 at 2:23 pm
The best movie Kevin Smith ever made was Clerks, and Clerks is really bad.
March 3rd, 2010 at 6:05 pm
clerks and mallrats were also terrible. every kevin smith movie has been a criminally overrated piece of pretentious shite.