Bob Probert, one of the NHL’s all-time heavyweight champions, died yesterday at the age of 45. A true legend of the game, Robert A. Probert spent 16 years in the NHL enforcing the code and fucking people up. Standing six foot three and weighing in at 225 pounds, Probert racked up an incredible 3300 penalty minutes in his career, good enough for sixth overall.

The left winger from Ontario was drafted by the Red Wings in the third round in 1983, part of a class that would also include Steve Yzerman, Petr Klima, and Joe Kocur, who was Probert’s “Bruise Brother” partner. In a statement, Kocur said that his “favorite memory of Bob would be sitting down before a game, going over the opposing lineup and picking and choosing who would go first and if the goalie would be safe or not.”

Probert was as notorious for his off-ice activities as he was for his legendary bouts with Tie Domi. In 1989, he got caught crossing the Detroit – Windor, Ontario border with 14 grams of cocaine in his underwear. He was sentenced to six months in federal prison, and his suspension from the league was only lifted when his sentence had been served.

Probert also totalled his motorcycle in a 1994 accident; cops pegged his blood alcohol at triple the limit, and traces of coke were found in his system. On top of the DUIs, he racked up a couple of assault charges once he was out of the league; the cops in Delray Beach, Florida had to hit the man with a Taser to slow him.

Here’s Probert in his own words, talking about his craft in a 1999 interview:

A lot of bruisers out there claim that getting in the first shot is really important. It’s a total myth, I say. I’d rather get in the most punches. Remember, in hockey fights there are no body shots. The decision making is pretty basic: Do I hit him in the mouth? In the nose? Upside his ear? Do I like hitting guys? Let’s just say I like it a lot more than I like getting hit. I don’t worry about anything fancy. I just swing as hard and as fast as I can until the officials break it up.

Guys get hurt during fights, but here’s a reality check: You’re much more likely to get badly injured just playing. Think about it. A 200-pound guy skating 25 mph smashing you into the boards has the potential to do a whole lot more bone-pulverizing damage than the same guy throwing a couple of left hooks with bare knuckles.

If you get cut or you get knocked down during a fight, you’re not going to get rushed to the hospital or anything. Cuts are actually as much a part of hockey as the Canadian national anthem. You’re bleeding like a stuck pig, and the trainers will just steri-strip it on the bench and then stitch it up between periods. Some guys have the area frozen before the stitches, but I just tell ’em to sew me up and get it over with. It’s quicker, there’s no swelling, and, hey, a little pain builds character.

Let’s close by remembering what #24 doing what he did best.

RIP, Bob Probert. Go break St. Peter’s teeth.

- Caps