If so I got your lucky break right here mah ninjettes, because Juggalo Bail Bonds wants you! Judging by these reports Juggalos seem to always be in and out of trouble with the law, so why trust your bail to anyone but another member of the Dark Carnival!?! This is a million dollar idea!

NEW BAIL BONDS COMPANY; JUGGALO BAIL BONDS, OPENING SHORTLY IN DETROIT AND IS IN NEED OF JUGGALETTES FOR PHOTOS TO USE IN ONLINE AD CAMPAIGN TO GET WORD OUT ABOUT COMPANY.

THE JUGGALO BONDSMAN IS LOOKING FOR LETTES OF ALL AGES TO POSE IN FULL HATCHET GEAR AND/OR PAINT TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED FOR ONLINE ADS PROMOTING JUGGALO BAIL BONDS.

RESPOND TO INTAKE@METRODETROITCASTING.COM WITH AGE, PHOTOS, AND CONTACT INFORMATION AND AVAIBALITY. LO’S WILL ALSO ME CONSIDERED.

THIS IS UNPAID; BUT, YOU WILL RECIEVE CREDIT AND WILL BE ELIGABLE FOR LISTING ON METRODETROITCASTING.COM AT NO CHARGE WHICH WILL GIVE YOU EXPOSURE TO LOCAL CASTING AND MODELING COMPANIES FOR FUTURE FILM, TV AND MODELING POSSIBILITIES.

Judging from the ad an ability to spell is not really a prerequisite. The ad also doesn’t really specify if they’re looking for “Necksnappaz” or “Fat Floppy Titty Freaks,” so I have to imagine it’s both. God I hope it’s both. I wonder if Juggalo Bail Bonds has already tried recruiting from the ranks of Juggalettes Gone Wicked? If not, they should…mmmmmm.

If anyone actually sees these ads whenever they do go live, you know where to forward them… right here! Woop Woop!

via Videogum

- My Pal the Crook