Ok, so up until this point I’ve been sticking to the topics and minds who I find to have a certain degree of credibility. Sure, all matters discussed in this column are hard to swallow and may seem like the prolix delusions of megalomaniacal pseudo intellects hoping to convert plebs to cash paying disciples. That’s fine. I get it. BUT, I’ll have you know this: I’ve kept the standards reeeeallly high in selecting only the most competent of this squad to fascinate over. There’s gigabytes upon gigabytes of BULLSHIT I’ve gotta sift through to find the goods. A LOT. Like tons…

Introducing The Montauk Project:

Preston Nichols breaks it all down against a backdrop of ambiguous modular components reminiscent of Darth Vader’s chestpiece. Note the patience of the interviewer.

This alleged extension of The Philadelphia Experiment is the Deion Sanders of conspiracy theories — the all in one dynamo. Under a hush-hush secret cabal of government (naturally) scientists and researchers opened up wormholes in the space-time continuum, jettisoned to hyperspace, mastered mind control, contacted extra-terrestrials, and teleported across dimensions. Actually, this sounds more like the limitless cacamamie of The Beyonder than the amplitude of Neon…

Apparently it all started with the development of a technology that made a battleship invisible to radar. Subsequently, this top secret invisibility ray opened up a portal across time and voilà!!! A research facility was established in Montauk Air Force Base and the rest is either the greatest or worst sci-fi novel ever written…depends on who’s writing it! Unfortunately, the “story by” credit on the dust jacket of this shitsterpiece goes to a duo of absolute schmoes: Preston Nichols and Stewart Swerdlow.

From the wiki

On or about on August 12, 1983 the time travel project at Camp Hero interlocked in hyperspace with the original Project Rainbow back in 1943. The USS Eldridge was drawn into hyperspace and trapped there. Two men, Al Bielek and Duncan Cameron both claim to have leaped from the deck of the USS Eldridge while it was in hyperspace and ended up after a period of severe disorientation at Camp Hero in the year 1983 at Montauk Point. Here they claim to have met John von Neumann, a famous physicist and mathematician, even though he died in 1957. John Von Neumann had supposedly worked on the original Philadelphia Experiment, but the United States Navy denies this.

Preston Nichols has that quasi-psychotic despondency and disheveled appearance of those born and raised New Yorkers. You know, that look of a slow simmering dementia you can only get from a lifetime without any luck. His convoluted theories back up all previous assessments too. Nichols reminds me of the guys who get into an inescapable conversation with you on the subway about mind control after they see the alien on your t-shirt…pretty much, right? Here’s a word to the wise: If you have a heavy Long Island accent, you have no business in the conspiracy theory business. ZERO. NONE. I love Robert Anton Wilson, but even he was pushing it!

Steven Swerdlow is an alleged felon, mountebank and all around shyster that cashes in books, workshops and DVD’s of his bologna. Another participant during the Montauk Project, Swerdlow spits the typical unsupported, unsustantiated jive which repels most people from the alternative media field. His stuff just sounds like regurgitated Sitchen, Icke, and Maxwell. How can you take seriously a man who unequivocally claims to have developed the language of hyperspace?

Preston Nichols breaks us off on the technology and equipment of hyperspace teleportation.

I want to believe. I really do, but are these guys the best they could get? Maybe this exactly what the shadow government and Reptilians want me to believe and fellas like Swerdlow and Nichols are trapped in the disinfo void. Either way, I gotta give the Montauk Project and all its constituents the FINGER!