Even if you can’t count on me—O Bloglin—to be prompt and present all throughout the week, you CAN count on me to be a total Dork. A dork whose latest hobby seems to be making little stop-motion fan videos with his toys. Of course, you may remember last week’s installment of this blooming adventure, and while checking that out, you may or may not be one of the 7 people who checked out my ode to hot wheels and 20 year old hip-hop. Or maybe you aren’t. Who can really tell.

Well, this week’s installment of NF brings you more of my new little proto-hobby, but it’s chopped and screwed, smacked up and flipped, possibly even rubbed down. For reals. So, the jump to the end, what is this about little snip is: Hateball loves Le Merde toys by way of talking about DJ Khaled. There you go. Now watch as I attempt to sew a dog onto a watermelon. Ahem.

This video bullshit. Counter to what you may think, that being that I am an uber-creative, super talented artisan who puts a high premium on making time to hone my craft and as such I produce all these amazingly awesome things, I am actually a totally boring, slitely gifted speller who constantly finds himself chained to a computer desk on (important, but) super-dry business after hours. (I also think that spelling jokes are funny. GO figure.) While at said desk/computer combination, I sometimes find time to busy myself with little things. Photos. Coffee Mugs. Photos of coffee mugs. And now photos pulled into iMovie and set to music. Last week found me on-call for a HUGELY insanely huge corporate client, and while I sat around and waited for them to figure out the burning question (that is, jigga-who?) I decided to teach myself iMovie. As you can imagine, I succeeded in teaching myself the hard way to do a few things poorly. Go! Tokoji Go! is born. To roll.

Let’s say I attained a penchant for the act of acting the fool, and I soon set about staging my next gropus. And herein lies a huge problem I have: I sort of kind of like the few Khaled tracks I’ve heard. Starting with ‘So Hood’ off the Big Boi for Dummies mixtape, and—quintessentially, really—ending with the ‘All I Do is Win’ track that has been posted about and discussed here. Commented on even. By me. To wit:

I guess I’m a little confused…are your hands supposed to go up in the air and stay there, or do they go up and down, several times?

This is me, and this is what I think about. But anyway. Verbal ambiguities aside, the video remains a strong example of the classic ‘posse’ clip in support of the classic ensemble hood ‘banger’. There is no denying this. I work hard, man.

As such, this song has stuck in my craw. There are a few other things in there, but this song in particular sort of resonated with me. For many reasons (I guess), not the smallest of which is the fact that oftentimes, with kaiju, the only thing you can really do is make their hands go up. And then stay there. Or have them go up and down.

You now can see all of the ingredients on the cutting board. Watch me cook them.

All I Do is Win from Justin Hateball on Vimeo.

My ‘setting photos to music’ bone set about rubbing up against my, um, ‘I like DJ Khaled for somewhat academic and as such probably the wrong reasons’ bone. Sparks flew. Madballs rolled. I took a shitload of posse photos (of toys) and set about making my journeypiece. It worked, to middling results.

But I was left with all these awesome shots at the end. And they were the shots of all my awesome Le Merde toys (with a few guest stars) whom I was super excited about, as I had just received an awesome custom Hollis from him earlier in the week, and it made me realize how many of the little buggers I had acquired in the past few months. And so, part(y) two was born. I hope you (and he) enjoy it.

After The Party The After Party from Justin Hateball on Vimeo.

Fortuitous, too, as there are some things happening in the toy world for ol’ Le Merde (who, to be totally fair, needs to have punctuation included in his name, and I am just too damn lazy to do it. Sorry bro. It’s the thought that counts I hope). Le Merde just had a ‘mascot scale’ toy released with Super 7 (the manufacturer of said Hollis toys in aforesaid movie) at SDCC and it’s awesome. It’s a 6″ Burgerbuns, and if that doesn’t make you think of having sex with something, I don’t know what will.

There is also the sure-to-be-exciting-except-for-the-huge-absence-left-by-Hateball Toxic Catalyst show at Super7 in San Francisco this weekend, in which I am pretty sure that LM is participating. One COULD say that, in addition to maybe one or two others, Le Merde is responsible for kindling this year’s new fascination with resin. It could be said.

Mostly, I just love the toys, and I love you–O Bloglin–for giving me something to do while sitting at my desk. Or, as the case may be right now, while I sit in this sandwich shop with tables made of surfboards. With ‘Horse with No Name’ on the juke. Woo.

I’ll leave you with this: You cannot tell someone a spelling joke. They are so Updike it hurts.

- Hateball