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Pop Has Become Pro Wrestling and I’m Excited!

ECW legend, Axl Rotten once said “All wrestlers wanna be rock stars, and all rock stars wanna be wrestlers.” I think that’s a fair assessment which brings us to the topic of my post on drawing some similarities between professional wrestling and Pop music.

In a very personal sense, 2010 has been a wonderful year for music. When I’m not slaving away at a 9-5 or burning the midnight oil as a freelance music journalist, I’m a pro wrestling manager. I’ve done this for nearly a decade, which means that I really love it, and also given that I’m writing this and not on national television, will be content to spend a career working elementary schools, carnivals, VFW halls and festivals for small paydays and the fleeting glory of D-List celebrity. This also means that I have spent many hours studying and observing this fantastic carny business, and much of the way that I understand the world is colored by understanding why people like Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Goldberg, “Superstar” Billy Graham, Ric Flair and “Macho Man” Randy Savage were superstars and are eternally part of the pop cultural lexicon, why other stars are close, and why many will get close, or never get there at all.

Many in the blogosphere and beyond appear especially shocked, angsty and appalled by the latest stream of pop idols, especially in their over-gimmicked, pre-packaged nature as the recording industry attempts to combat low record sales with a new phalanx of hitmakers who mirror proven concepts in music and society. Given that this is true, there are many lessons and parallels now that can now be drawn from the world of pro wrestling to pop music. Much of why 2010 has been so successful and entertaining to me can be understood by pulling back the curtain a tiny bit to pro wrestling, and giving you, the reader certain tenets of our industry that have yet again been applied to pop domination.

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1. Pro Wrestling is 90% Presentation and 10% Ability

In the early 1970′s professional wrestling was a business that was doing well, but not doing the tremendous box office numbers of the “WWF Attitude Era” of the late 1990s. However, literally based on physique and look alone, “Superstar” Billy Graham changed everything. Billy Graham was a supremely tanned, bleach blonde  who wore tie dye and rose colored shades at all times, and cut promos for his upcoming matches by using a palaver culled largely from Muhammad Ali, Gorgeous George, pimps and street corner hustlers.

There was nothing original at all about him, except this was the first time pro wrestling had ever seen it used as a drawing tool. Graham’s success was also based off of a physique enhanced by anabolic steroids which, of course, in the 1970s, society didn’t realize the inherent problems in this, but man, did he look great.


Ke$ha: All sizzle, no steak. But you can’t turn your eyes away.

At no point have I spoken a word about his matches. They were presentable, but not technical masterpieces of great agility and skill. However, based on his presence, presentation and ability to cause a stir, he got you in the door, and was a solid draw and money earner for the WWF, AWA and other major territories in the 1970s.

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2. If You Must Have a Gimmick, Make it Believable, Believe In It, and the People Will Believe In You

Terry Bollea is one of the greatest liars of my lifetime. This man, in the guise of Hulk Hogan told me that if I merely trained, said my prayers and took my vitamins, I could bodyslam Andre the Giant, ward off terrorism, racism, sexism, communism, imperialism, elitism and yes, the Canadian Earthquake and Akeem the African Dream, whatever they represented (fear of 400 pound men squashing democracy and the American way with splashes? I’m still not sure about that one…).

Of course, outside the ring, we learned that prayers, training and vitamins were really a code name for water based steroid Winstrol, and that eventually, you have to become evil and become an angry street thug, spray paint tags on people and championship belts, and embrace gang culture. But that’s besides the point.

If you look the part, play the role and mirror something society desperately needs to believe in, people will absolutely follow.


We’re all waiting for this kid to get a heroin or coke addiction. Admit it. Then we can all admit our love for him, right?

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3. Wrestling Is Cyclical

What was old is always new again. Hulk Hogan, meet John Cena. Hogan waved a flag, Cena salutes the people. Both blonde, square jawed, barrel chested and presented as the All-American ideal. The Rock, meet The Miz. The Rock, a cool, charismatic customer and movie star with mega hip appeal and a unique blend of style and culture.

The Miz is Mike Mizanin from MTV’s Real World  and Road Rules, presented as a cool, charismatic customer with mega hip appeal and a unique blend of style and culture. Goldberg, a tattooed brooder, Steve Austin, an anti-hero. Today, there’s Randy Orton, tattooed, brooding anti-hero. Cyclical.


I don’t know about all of you, but would they not make the greatest Tag Team pair of all time?

Wrestlers always want to be rock stars, and rock stars always want to be wrestlers. Sometimes if we look at a bodyslam and a catchphrase as more than just a bodyslam and a catchphrase, the world can make so much more sense.

- Marcus Dowling

7 Responses to “Pop Has Become Pro Wrestling and I’m Excited!”

  1. Will Says:

    Excellent post! Never before have I wanted to bang a homeless chick as much as I want to bang Ke$ha in that pic up there. I’d love a Nicki/Kim Tag Team, if only so I could hear Jerry Lawler yell “Puppies!” the entire match.

  2. STANK Says:

    i work for WWE, and it is amazing how popular Hogan still is, despite his complete lack of wrestling ability.

  3. Toilet Cobra Says:

    I don’t think that “rock stars” is a thing that exists much anymore. I don’t think people playing music want to be wrestlers though. ICP and the Misfits want to be wrestlers but they are in the minority, I’d say.

  4. AstralForest Says:

    the ‘minority’ is basically everyone nowadays!.

    Only two sides to a coin!.

    fore tole tole tollleyome me daadddy

  5. Burning Dan Says:

    hey newbie, you haven’t seen wrestling

  6. AstralForest Says:

    @Burning Dan

    Haha

  7. Luis D Says:

    @burning dan

    HOLY SHIT.

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