I know for those of you out in the UK, praise for Four Lions is probably old hat at this point, so just ignore this and remember that we’re based in the States where not only has this film never come out theatrically, but I doubt it will ever even see a US DVD release. Those of you who’ve never heard about Four Lions, when I tell you the premise, you’ll not only say “What? Really!?” but quickly understand why this sucker ain’t ever getting a US release date… well, at least not for the foreseeable future.

Four Lions documents the tale of a four (sometimes five) member Muslim terrorist cell in England. But these aren’t your average scourge of the world; they’re not the cool, calm and methodical terrorists that we’re fed by the media after the fact… These guys are bumbling idiots! So watching them try to blow shit up is pretty goddamn hilarious.

All members of the cell are British nationals and consist of: Omar, as close as you get to the brains of the operation and the film’s moral center — though I use that term loosely; Barry, the group’s hot-headed and impulsive cleric (he’s also white and Scottish); Fessal, the crew’s lovable pushover; Waj, who’s all heart and zero brains; and finally, Hassan, a college recruit with a proclivity towards  rapping 2pac lyrics. A greater crew of stooges you could not have assembled.

Across the film’s 90 minutes, you’re treated to our terrorist twerps haplessly trying to figure out just how they should act as terrorists. Their attempts at crafting the perfect threat video are left with only blooper reels. Omar and Barry (the self-proclaimed “most Al-Quaida” of the bunch) engage in a farcical power struggle over what and who they should be blowing up. Waj and Omar get the call to train with the Mujahideen in Pakistan, and end up doing more damage to them in a few days than the US has been able to do in a decade. And Fassal has the worst luck ever when it comes to explosives. Simply calling this a comedy of errors doesn’t seem to give this crew’s ineptitude as jihadists the proper weight.

Four Lions is as dark as a comedy can get, and it’s easily the funniest film I’ve seen all year. It’s a brave, uncompromising and uproarious film showing that evil in one’s heart doesn’t mean a brain in their head… or at least not until it’s way too late. And as depraved as this premise may seem for some, it’s not merely shock without any virtue. Consequences are a big part of the story. I can’t recommend this film enough and it’s a shame that given the current climate in the US, there’s no way this sort of satire will find the audience it deserves… actually to all of our UK followers, does England just have that much more of a sense of humor than the States? I never would have expected this sort of film out of the UK, either.

So how the hell can you watch Four Lions if you’re in the US? Well, it just came out overseas on DVD, so maybe you have a buddy in England who can hook you up? Or… maybe you’re clever and resourceful and know how to use that thing they call the Internetz? Seek this film out, you won’t be dissapointed.

- My Pal the Crook