The entire internet agrees. I hate to rag on a lil’ tyke like this, but when you say stupid shit like this, it’s way too easy. Time to fire your manager, I mean your Mom, dude. I can already tell that this is gonna get really good, really fast!

Extra special thanks to the geniuses over at The Internet Today for this meme. Can I Paypal you money for a beer?

How someone can work for Мишка long as Ease has, and get almost every single bit of information regarding this company wrong in a minute long interview is just mind boggling. If you can just disregard what’s being said you’ll at least see some sneak peaks of upcoming New Eras and Beanies though. So it’s not a total waste and a great PSA for not doing drugs :/

This week, W Magazine drops an enchanting tale of raunch and luxury with their interview of Aaron Sorkin. He discusses his script writing process for The Social Network, success, and the wonders of C-C-C-C-C-Cocaine. I’ve never seen a single episode of the West Wing, nor did I have an idea how much of an epic Hollywood fiend Sorkin is/was. I like this guy. He’s my type of guy!

On Facebook Svengali, Mark Zuckerberg:

I think there’s a subset of nerds who are not the cuddly kinds of nerds we made movies about in the Eighties. These nerds don’t understand why attractive women are still dating the quarterback and not them, why women don’t get that they’re the ones running the universe right now. There’s an arrogance that has alchemized into real nastiness.

On Living the Hollywood Dream:

In the past my dealer would come over, and I’d do drugs all night long and I’d write high. I was worried that I couldn’t write with the sun out.

Go on, and read the full interview!

This year, we decided to do something we’ve never done before: show our cycling-related line, D.A.R.T., at Interbike which is the premiere bicycle tradeshow. You guys all know about D.A.R.T. but we wanted to get the word out and showcase some forthcoming collaborations to the greater cycling world out there. Along with our D.A.R.T. clothing line, we worked with Hold Fast and even on a Brusier frame which are all on display.

We’re very pleased how this came out. It’s our collaboration with Milwaukee Bicycle Co. on their Bruiser street fixed gear. Expect more details to come and yes, we will be producing a run of these bikes. Save your pennies! If you’re at Interbike, come swing through, there’s a lot we’re showing that hasn’t been seen before! Мишка D.A.R.T., Hold Fast and Affinity Cycles are holding it down at the Brooklyn Booth #3457.

Sometimes, Asian people can be really cool as in the case of Bruce Lee, Chad Hugo, and Japanese people under the age of 25. Most of the time though, they are embarrassing as fuck. And this is only the first video in their love story… Find out how Zoe & Raymond met here.

The good people over at Good Peoples bring you some serious business this Friday with the LuckyMe crew, featuring Hudson Mohawke, Rustie, The Blessings, Mike Slott, Lunice, Jacques Greene, Eclair Fifi, Machinedrum, Cubic Zirconia, and Azealia Banks. Phew, that’s a lot of fucking acts!

All these dudes make some crazy music that is kinda out of this world. This party is going to be off the chain and I seriously wish I was in NY to catch this one. :/ But let me give you a little bit of lo-down on the two headliners below…

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Glasgow’s Hudson Mohawke makes some of the maddest music I’ve ever heard. HudMo came up as a turntablist and was the youngest ever to make it to the UK DMC finals. Since then he’s been tearing shit up with his production.

Everyone from Rihanna to Crookers is saying good stuff about this dude. HudMo’s debut album “Butter” was released on Warp and it features some of the most next level beats I’ve ever heard. Tunes like “Rising 5″ and “FUSE” stand out as the most next level.

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Also from Glasgow, young Rustie will in full effect this Friday. Releasing his material on legendary label’s like Hyperdub and Warp, Rustie is kinda killin’ it left and right these days.

LuckyMe says homeboy takes “the rarely-linked sonics of hyper-digital video game music and bombastic, audacious prog-rock Rustie folds them into his melted plastic confection of crunk, classic electro and techno.” Rustie’s “Neko” might be too ill for this planet.

Head over to Ticketfly to grab your tixxx now!

Friday 24th September, 10pm
88 Palace
88 East Broadway
New York, NY
$10 | 21+ to enter

I’m a huge fan of the Cold War, and all the espionage and tactics that went into it. For a while now, I’ve felt that I missed my calling as a suave-ass spy like James Bond. Let’s ignore the fact that I’m neither suave, nor particularly adroit at anything other than stubbing my toe and not washing myself. This unspoken feeling was confirmed yesterday when I came across the news that I possess en masse an essential quality that all spies must have: semen.

Well, sort of.

According to MI6: The History of the Secret Intelligence Service 1909-1949, a book dropping this week, MI6 experimented with using semen as the coup de grâce of invisible ink. The sort of shit that you simply can’t make up. According to the book:

A member of staff close to “C”, Frank Stagg, said that he would never forget his bosses’ delight when the Deputy Chief Censor said one day that one of his staff had found out that “semen would not react to iodine vapour.” Stagg noted that “we thought we had solved a great problem”.

Amazing. It explains a lot of things, namely why Bond was always around slamming the hottest chick he could find. You think he was doing it for love of the flesh? The temptation to sin? Hardly, dudes. The man was merely manufacturing some ink to go about writing some reconnaissance files. After all these years, we finally have a greater understanding of Bond, and the spy archtype. Philanders? More like poets.

Furthermore, it brings great joy to know that I have enough secret spy ink on my futon to pen The Long Telegram. I’ve been training to be a spy for so many years, without even knowing it.

Via.

I have been having visions. Visions of posters. And posters. And posters. And stuff. And stuff. And stuff.

I’ve been cleaning my teeny tiny little lavender house, in preparation for the coming spawn, and for me, that mostly means finding all the little cubby holes where I’ve got art, toys, or ‘stuff’ stashed, and trying to do something with all of it.

Did you know that in order to properly archive a 24×36″ poster you need to store it flat, in a $2 bag, mounted to a $7 board? Which is all well and good…but what do you do when you’ve got 200 of those posters? And then roughly twice that number of 19×25″ posters?

A word to any burgeoning poster artists out there: Stick to 18×24. Max. It’s cheaply frame-able. Super standard. If someone doesn’t want to frame it, they can buy a profolio and store it—like, forever—safely. Something about the hubris of my youth had me seeking out the biggest, most flamboyant artwork known to man, and now, in my ripe old 30s, I find myself wishing that it was all 11×17 so I could put it into a lunchbox.

But oh well. Wah Wah. My poster storage woes are not why I’m here today, children. To be honest, I had every intention of reminding you of the scene in ET where Drew Barrymore hides ET in with all her stuffed animals, and right when you started to slip into your feelings of nostalgia, I would, like, crossfade over into the same scene from Interview with a Vampire where Kirsten Dunst has the dead body buried in with all her dolls and then Tom Cruise acts like a total dandy about it…and then I was going to correlate that to organizing/going through my collection of collections, and THEN!!! I was going to arrive at the point: cleaning out my ‘For Bloglin’ drafts box and dropping a bunch of mildly-entertaining-to-wildly hilarious-depending-on-your-mood video clips and links on you.

It’s a stretch, I know. The lazy freakonomist in me would love to dole these out one at a time over weeks and weeks thus making me seem like a hugely prolific blogger, but we all know I’m not going to do that. It’s now or never, folks. So, without further a-do: behold my dust bunnies. Fear them, but only after you chuckle a time or two.

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So first things first. I’m surprised Cornbluth didn’t get the drop on me with this, but! for anybody’s who’s interested, a 5-track EP of the Trent Reznor score to the coming Fincher/Sorkin-helmed ‘The Social Network’ is available for download over at Nullco. I have been listening to it for a moment, and I can’t tell you how I feel about it, past the fact that I do not hate it.

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Next, while you’re pondering whether or not you care about Trent Reznor, I’ll hit you with some Meowrissey, which is nothing new to anybody anywhere, but it came up in conversation this week and, well, here you go. I am mixtaping the shit out of you right now.

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You’re happy now, so I’ll hit you with some sol: Our solar system is a wicked-big place, son, and you best recognize. I am—of course—so totally excited by these photos. In fact, I’m heading to the mountains this weekend with a telescope, a palette of beer, a 98% waxing moon, and Jupiter-at-large in the Eastern sky. I am hoping to bring back some photos. Behold my amateur dude diligence.

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Keeping things light and flossy with some leftfield Suntory Time. Your head wound is a super power. Super.

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Do you know Chad Vader? He’s hilarious. A dear friend sent this to me when I sent her a photo of my favorite slave Leia from Comicon. You will have to wait until next year’s girlpost for her. She is worth the wait.

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Incidentally, right where Journey or Foreigner would be anyway, in drops the meaning of the internet. This, to me, really sums up YouTube.

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As constant readers may know, I have a love/hate thing with Ke$ha…she is my fallback whenever I go to a wedding and request BBD ‘Poison’ (the fucking THRILLER of 1990, jeez. Could that song have been ANY bigger?) to no avail. Mrs. Hateball found this and got mad when I told her that I prefer TNG. This was pretty funny, however.

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And, like all good mixtapes (when did this become a mixtape? I should have set that up in the totally pointless beginning of this post, huh?) this one ends with an ironic cover…that being a faux-vintage faux-television commercial for a modern flip of a vintage toy version of a classic icon from a max-zeitgeist movie. Perfect. Almost as good as Rammstein covering Depeche Mode.

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And now, of course, you want to date me. Because I’m standing on your lawn with the Bloglin hoisted over my head, blaring 8-bit The Final Countdown and wearing a t-shirt with a picture of the solar system on it and I’ve got toys in my backpack. And I live in a lavender house.

A likely story.

The Vaselines - Sex With an X (2010) [Sub Pop] // Grade: B

The Vaselines have released their second studio album, Sex With An X, 20 years after their first LP dropped in 1990. The Glasgow natives Eugene Kelly and Frances McKee formed the group back in 1987 but broke up the same week Dum Dum was released. After spending years on solo projects, in 2008 the duo performed at a fundraiser in Glasgow which launched them into touring together and sparked their renewed creative collaboration. What’s extra cool about Sex With An X is that it’s produced by Jamie Watson, the same producer from Dum Dum all those years ago and was recorded the old school way, 12 songs (plus b-sides) in 13 days.

Now you’d think after being apart for so long that their wonderful indie pop energy that fans fell in love with on “Teenage Superstar” would have got lost in the ether of time but that’s not the case. This is an album that fits perfectly into the group’s library. While listening to that first track “Ruined” (my personal fav); it felt as if time stood still for The Vaselines. Sure, that rawness we’ve known them for has been replaced by layered instrumentals and vocals but that’s often the case on second albums. Make no mistake; this is not an overly produced album. Frances and Eugene’s natural talents shine through and listening to tracks like “Mouth To Mouth” and “Such A Fool”, you can’t even tell that time has passed for the duo. “Turning It On” is a phenomenal track that infuses this country swagger and “Overweight But Over You” is such a kickin’ indie rock track that the drums keep you moving in your seat.  The lyrics on this album are witty, tongue in cheek, and damn catchy. Try to get “Sex With An X” chorus “you look so right, you must be wrong for me” out of your head…you just can’t. The real shining star off Sex With An X has got to be “It Wasn’t All Duran Duran”, a spunky reflective track about the 80s with the killer lyric “I hate the 80s cuz the 80s was shit”.

Often when bands reunite our perception of their music is clouded by the past and the hits we used to know them for. Although it took me a couple listens to get past my expectations for this album, Sex With An X is both a solid second album and a superb reunion album. This is an album that will please both Vaselines and indie pop rock fans.

Not sure if you guys read Fact Magazine or not but it’s a great UK music site… because well those Brits are usually pretty up on great rock before the US is. So if you come around these parts for the music posts do yourself a favor and give them a visit as well.

Anyway, they recently premiered the video for UK dream pop band Altar Eagle’s song “You Lose Your Neon Haze.” This was the first time I’d ever heard this Tulsa, Oklahoma based band. But you know what? Won’t be the last. Good stuff