The Мишка 2011 Calendar by Ellen Stagg

The year of two-thousand and ten is drawing to a close. Those of us who survived this year are older and a year closer to death.  The pages remaining in our sexy 2010 Мишка calendars are dwindling but worry not, for the coming year brings a sexy new calendar of photos from Ellen Stagg. Oodles of sexy ladies wearing nothing but hats and belts and other clothing items that don’t restrict viewership of their secret ladies junk spill out of this thing and onto your eyeballs, like melted cheddar onto nachos.

And Oh!  The models this year. There’s Charlotte Stokely whose got the leer of a lost lamb and a giant awesome round ass that’s kind of like a horse’s.  There’s Marlo Marquise who has a Bettie Page haircut and also no clothing. There’s Skin Diamond whose complexion is kind of peanut brown with clownish pink hair and a look in her eyes that makes me think that she might be the kind of person who likes to start fires. There’s Mosh who reminds me of Betty Draper with her olde tymey haircut and awesomely sexy expressions. Kayla-Jane Danger is next. She has a bunch of awesome tattoos and wild dark tresses. I love her hair. Women with wild hair are usually a lot of fun and can eventually drive you insane. Zoli is back for her third calendar. She was on the cover of the 2009 calendar and she’s still untouchably beautiful. There’s something about her face that says,”You don’t have a shot. Get lost. Don’t even look at pictures of me. Turn around.” But I still think she’s hot stuff.

Manhattan’s finest, Ryan Keely is in here too showing off her awesome butt and hair. I know for a fact that Ryan loves fire because we used to burn stuff together. All sexy models seem to start their interviews with “I’m such a geek!(laughs)” Have you noticed this? Sexy models used to all say that their idea of a perfect evening was just drinking some beers and watching sports but at some point our nation’s men must have all turned into losers because now all the models talk about how they’re into comics and video games and shit like that. I want to make it clear that Ryan is a giant dorko and I can vouch for this.

Then there’s a pretty lady who should need no introduction, Jenna Haze is gorgeous and an icon.  Heather Vandeven is back also and man does she have a long beautiful torso and boobs like grapefruits. Then there’s the return of Darenzia, I can’t read her handwriting but she’s got ass for days. There’s Masuimi Max has the face of an anime character and the body of one too. Also: Bettie Page haircut. Another returning favorite, Mandy Morbid whose body and scattered tattoos make me nostalgic for an especially unpredictable ex-girlfriend. She’s got Tank Girl appeal. Hell she was Tank Girl in the 2009 calendar! And last but certainly not least is another three-timer, the always adorable red headed pixie that is Justine Joli.

We’re also bringing back a favorite from the 2009 calendar for this year’s release. A 2011 calendar t-shirt featuring the cover of our calendar and all 13 of the beautiful ladies gracing it’s pages. You’ll be able to buy the t-shirt separately or you can save a few bucks on both the tee and calendar buy getting a special package of both. Why just hang these girls on your wall when you can keep them close to your heart, literally.

Each year brings a certain amount of triumphs and failures, gains and losses. Having Ellen’s girls watching over me has helped salve many a wounded ego or brightened up a shitty day.  Remember that there are totally rad fly honeys in the world.

Tonight is the official release party for the calendar at our Brooklyn shop (350 Broadway) at 7pm where you’ll be able to pick-up a copy of the calendar. We will also have the actual Polaroids from the calendar for sale. Trust me they’ll be very reasonably priced keepsakes! There will be refreshments, music and Ellen Stagg will be in attendance along with Miss June, Marlo Marquise to sign copies of the calendar. Plus as a special treat for all the people who come to the party, Marlo will be doing a live naked Burlesque performance in-store. Ooh la la!

And finally a percentage of from Calendar sales from that evening will go to help support the lovely Jessie Lee in the time of need. We will also have some special 8×10′s of Jessie shot by Stagg for sale with all proceeds going to her fund.

And of course there’s the 2011 calendar teaser video…not that it needs any more press, but goddamn it’s great! So, so, so goddamn good. Thank you to Ellen for the footage, The Vidiot for putting it all together and Rx for letting us use his tune “Bumble.”

Мишка
350 Broadway
Brooklyn, NY
718-388-1725

J/M/Z to Marcy Ave
G to Broadway
L to Lorimer

- Toilet Cobra