I’ve never seen this SALEM video, but it’s a few years old. I actually have no clue if it’s even an official SALEM video or not. It was done by Brent Stewart so I imagine it’s official. I actually have no clue what “Bitchesburninup” is off of but I assume maybe FuCKU CDR on Disaro from 2006 which I don’t have. Speaking of which anyone has a link for it, hit me up!

Via All Everyone United

So it seems I’ve become the Bloglin’s resident Australian film reviewer, despite the fact that I’ve never been to Australia. I think I may have some cousins there, so I guess that counts for something. Anyway, last week it was the superb Animal Kingdom, and this week I found Red Hill on my docket. I was pretty excited for this one as well. I saw that it had played at Fantastic Fest in Austin earlier this year, and I heard pretty good things.

It was being marketed as a really violent old fashioned western, and it starred Ryan Kwanten, who plays Jason Stackhouse on True Blood. That show is a little hit or miss for me, but I’ve actually found his performance to be one of the better and more consistent things throughout the show. He’s an Aussie, and it was interesting to see him act in his native tongue as it were, and also play a character who isn’t a total idiot. He’s actually pretty good. Too bad the rest of the movie is not.

Red Hill is a really frustrating movie to watch. Patrick Hughes, a first time feature filmmaker, takes on the role of director, producer, writer, and editor. He’s obviously a talented guy, but he definitely spread himself way too thin. The script and most of the direction here is top notch. Really, the entire movie is picturesque and beautiful, some shots are like bug-eye stunning.  The first five minutes of the movie are just silent shots of nature, and they were amazing. The whole movie looks like that part in No Country For Old Men where Josh Brolin is running from that car and the lightning storm is going on in the background.

But the script is just awful. Really, it’s not good at all. It’s so cliched and flat, I almost find it hard to believe it came from the same guy responsible for the rest of the film. I was hoping it was going to get better, or break any convention at all. It doesn’t. Kwanten plays Shane, a young cop from the big city who has to transfer out to  small farming town Red Hill because his wife is pregnant or whatever. I knew I was in trouble when he goes to his first day on the job and asks for the keys to his squad car, then all the other officers start laughing at him, then the next shot is him stumbling around on horseback. Duh Ryan Kwanten, these are country people, they don’t have cars! His boss is a gruff old man with a dark past named, seriously, Old Bill.

The movie concerns a convict who escapes from a nearby prison and wages war on the police force of Red Hill for mysterious reasons. It should be really taught and tense, and if you watched the movie on mute it probably would be. But instead it’s like, so boring. The killer, Jimmy (which is like the worst and least threatening name for a villain ever, especially since everyone in the movie says it about a hundred times) just basically goes from cop to cop, shooting them with little fanfare. It’s the same scene like ten times. Shane, for no apparent reason, decides he’s the only cop who can stop him, even though he doesn’t even like any of the other cops.

There was also a scene that was so absurdly tension killing I could not believe the editor kept it in the film, until I remembered Hughes was the editor too. In the middle of all this killing, Shane actually goes home to get his spare gun, and has a “funny” conversation with his wife about his first day on the job. Like “oh yeah, honey it was kind of tough, but nothing I can’t handle haha”. Keep in mind at this point he’s been shot and seen like 10 people get killed. I guess that’s really the root of the problem here. There is zero sense of danger in this movie. Hughes definitely has a future in filmmaking, if he just makes sure to let someone else write his movies. With Red Hill though, he’s got a small diamond covered in a big pile of coal.

My girlfriend showed me this tumblr yetserday. I really have no clue how viral it’s gone. Basically it collects and posts weird and/or fucked up street views from Google Earth. Some of these seem just too goddamn good to be real…faking the little Google Earth icons is pretty easy. But I want to believe thes are all real so, I’m gonna just go ahead and do that.

This is just a small sample of the type of images you’ll find over at 9eyes. Trust me you’ll have it bookmarked or you’ll be following it within 15 seconds of visiting.

Alrighty. We’re all on the same, 4-color, shitty newsprint page. I can dig it. You can dig it. We’re here because we either love naked women and madballs or we love comic books AND naked women and madballs. I know you know what I’m talking about.

Get in touch with your inner comic dork and see if you can way feel me from here. A colleague of mine—my friend Shannon Riley—recently poured some blood sweat and tears into a motherfucking MONSTER of a debut article in this month’s BACK ISSUE magazine (issue #45). He got in touch with one Steve Englehart—a monster in his own right—to chat about his seminal run on the Justice League of America in the seventies, the Marvel of the bronze age vs. the DC of the bronze age, and just the straight-up love of this game called comics.

It’s a really focused, really detailed, really interesting read, and there is no denying the pure unadulterated love for comics oozing from these dudes as they talk about how cool it is that Englehart was able to ‘steal’ a Marvel character and put her in a different dress and drop her into a DC book. Gangsters DO make the world go ’round.

Out of respect for Shannon, and respect for the publishers of Back Issue, I’ll refrain from posting the entire writeup here outright (it is a paid download from the Two-Morrows site…3 bucks for the entire issue), but you all know how the comments section works, right? If you’re into this sort of thing, I’ll get at you, as this shit needs to make the rounds. I myself have never been a DC dude (maybe some Vertigo stuff 10 years ago) and I have really no idea how the JLA works, but even from an industry-study point of view, this is a fascinating read.

In this, the modern age of comics, things are very much like sports where the writer/artist ‘team’ typically leads off on any book and then fans are free to sort of assume/judge what the book will be like. (I know there was a time when I would read anything stamped with the names ‘Grant Morrison’ or ‘Warren Ellis’). In a lot of ways, Englehart’s story is a prototype of that, as the 70s saw most comic writers as totally anonymous resources. Not so with our man Steve.

Also, in only a slightly-related sidebar: check out dude’s film page. He’s got some pretty interesting things to say about the first Batman movie, as well as The Dark Knight. I don’t know if this is, like, common knowledge or what.

Curren$y - Pilot Talk II (2010) [DD172] // Grade: B+

I know it must happen all the time, but, I refuse to believe that a dude has successfully ever kicked real heavy game to a super bad chick while wearing sandals. I know every year during the summer mad dudes mack on chicks, probability dictates; some of them have to be wearing sandals. But, how does that work? You’re in complete chillax mode — your attire says “I don’t give a fuck about anything but chilling,” you’re rocking the sweatpants of footwear and you’re going to sell yourself to a lady? How do you convince a chick that, in fact, you are the shit when you’re wearing open toed shoes? Curren$y’s Pilot Talk II is oddly enough, the soundtrack to pulling a chick while wearing sandals. Pilot Talk II has some of the most smoothed out, laid back, sandal appropriate instrumentals paired with some grand shit talking and chest thumping.

On paper this shouldn’t work, if you want to talk about how awesome you are, you go one of two ways. One way is to go hard over an active, forceful beat (think Jay-Z’s “Dirt Off Your Shoulders” or this summer’s “BMF” by Rick Ross) — a forceful declaration of your excellence. The other option is to rap over a more laid back beat and sound entirely detached and bored by having to reiterate how awesome you are (Snoop’s “Drop It Like It’s Hot” or pretty much any Biggie radio single). Those techniques are great marriages of lyrical intent and musical affect. On Pilot Talk II though, Curren$y is working against conventional wisdom with his delivery, spitting fairly hard over beats that are on some strict “feet up in a comfortable chair” shit. “Flight Briefing” exemplifies this with it’s string section flutters and warm electric organs, it sounds like Willie Hutch style orchestrated soul played gently at dusk. Over that luxurious track Curren$y drops his usual talk of effortless living, wealth and disdain for dudes hating on the ease with which he has sex with their significant others – topics we can all relate to. When he drops lines like “Im trying to get a bigger home/ Put my niggas on/ They putting they niggas on, we getting really strong/ Next, Rex, Jets/ Best shape ever/ Winner circle, squares need to get it together”  you can hear him playing with his punctuation and timing so the middle three lines dart out and punch against the slow beat. On previous releases Curren$y would’ve been liable to drop similar lines with a more languid drawl, letting those lines flow into each other in the tradition of the great Juvenile. This album though, it’s more often clear punctuation as opposed to his usual sleepy eyed stoner rap.

Don’t worry though, there are still copious references to weed throughout and the album is probably better suited to smoke to than the previous effort. The songs go down smoother, they have less of a neck snapping hard beat and more of a bobble head, half closed eyes swing to them. “Famous” has some of the finest jazz saxophone on a rap record this year. It’s a slow burning song that demands a video montage of Sonny Crockett pensively driving a Ferrari Testarossa around the streets of Miami. “Real Estates” has a hypnotic wah-wah pedal bassline that sounds like a slowed down recreation of the teacher from Charlie Brown. That makes Curren$y’s boasting and bragging sound like a particularly vivid day dream the much maligned beagle owner had in the middle of class. Remember Charlie Brown, when you’re shinning with a bad bitch and that chick who always pulled the football out from under you is 30lbs overweight and three kids deep into a loveless marriage, you’ll have truly won.

Curren$y has created an admirable follow up to Pilot Talk. This album, instead of being a collection of leftover tracks released less than 6 months after the original, actually surpasses the original. It’s a more mature effort showing Curren$y being more deliberate with his phrasing and comfortable in his brand of stoned shit talking. His beat selection has also gotten better, these songs are more consistent and maintain a mood of relaxed airiness that was only alluded to on the previous album. Perfect music to try and talk a chick up to. Just make sure you get some kind of shoes on when you do, just because, the laid back sandal flow worked for Curren$y doesn’t mean it’ll work for you.

School of Seven Bells – ILU

Martial Canterel – You Today

BL§§D ØU† – RHINØC3RØPØLI§

Teengirl Fantasy – Dancing In Slow Motion

I†† – GêçGêåGêç

Мишка Black Friday 2010 Savings Bloody Savings, 30-50% OFF

Calling all stampeders! Мишка is hosting a serious fucking sale so grab a brick and break some glass. Take some PCP and grab a poker from the fireplace. If you’re into Мишка enough that you read our fucking blog you should probably show up and get out your fucking checkbook.

Our Black Friday sale goes from the moment it becomes Friday, you know, like at the end of Thanksgiving day, until the end of Sunday. Did you know that the term “Black Friday” is based on an old accounting practice?  Many businesses operate at a loss for the majority of the year and make almost all of their money during the holiday season.  Losses are marked down in red ink and gains are written in black.  Since this is when businesses finally make their damn money back, it’s “Black Friday.”

That was a huge digression. We’re going to have a ton of awesome clothes for cheap as Hell. Whether you spent Thanksgiving day with your greasy lips wrapped around a turkey drumstick or snuggled around a loaded gun you know where you’re going on Thursday night. At midnight (which is right now) Мишка will swing open our doors in New York and Los Angeles and let in the eager crowds who want some fancy duds for a hell of a lot cheaper than normal.  Get an awesome fucking hat. Get some tees. Maybe you can finally afford to get one of our super sturdy, warm and ultra good looking coats. Shit, I’m not going to say we’re practically giving it away but it’s worth your while if you’re on a budget but don’t want to look like a slob. Didn’t get a winter coat yet?  Now’s your chance to go one step better than wearing some jockish skiwear. Why wear a ski jacket when you don’t ski? Get a Мишка coat.

For all of you ONLINE SHOPPERS (that means you), the Fall 2010 collection has been marked down between 30-50% all weekend long and our Holiday collection is fully stocked and loaded on our website! If you signed up to our mailing list you’d have gotten a lil’ somethin’-somethin’ to make your shopping day extra sweeter. If you didn’t, oh well!

For all of you “yo fuck the internet, I do my buying in the streetz” shoppers we’ve got some extra special deals coming your way. The first fifty people who come in and buy something at each of our US stores will get a FREE Мишка Black Friday exclusive tee (pictured above). I am not fucking around. And… shoppers in-store will find that the Holiday 2010 collection items are 50% off for the first hour (midnight-1am) with the discount dropping 5 percent every following hour. After 6am everything from Holiday is twenty percent off for the rest of the weekend in-store.

We’ve got iPod 4s for only $30 but there are only eight left and they are hidden inside Greg’s clothing. So you gotta tear his clothes off to get one. If you find “Shark” and deepthroat his devilock he will give you an exclusive Мишка keychain. If you see any one of our cartoonish employees around just treat them like Lucky the Leperchaun or the Trix rabbit. Once you grab them they will give you something. We’ve also hidden some matzoh somewhere in the store.  Find it and you win Jewish Thanksgiving!  This last paragraph was all a lie. Don’t touch any of our employees! Sorry if I led you on.

Friday November 26th-28th
Мишка
350 Broadway
Brooklyn, NY
718-388-1725
—
Friday November 26th 26th-28th
Мишка LA
1547 Echo Park Ave
Los Angeles, CA
213-536-4234

Peter Christopherson (left) and John Balance (right) of Coil

It’s heartbreaking that a few days after we release our “Grave Wave” article/comp to wide acclaim, I find out that one of the founding fathers of dark electronic music has passed away. Peter “Sleazy” Christopherson was a true luminary whose influence on electronic music will never be forgotten.

A founding member of Throbbing Gristle, Peter Christopherson also helped in the early goings of Psychic TV before founding Coil with his partner John Balance. It’s rare that a musician partakes in three legendary and iconic bands, but Christopherson did just that.

Throbbing Gristle set the standard in Industrial and experimental music, while Coil was just utter electronic brilliance. In their 20+ year career I can’t even think of single album they put out that wasn’t both fantastic and on the cutting edge. They were always reinventing themselves and forcing electronic music to follow along with them. There’d be no Nine Inch Nails without Peter Christopherson’s work and influence on Trent Reznor. With his death, I truly hope Reznor’s new band, named after Coil’s first single, prove a worthy legacy to him.

And unlike most artists who record long past their prime, Christopherson was always fresh and exciting. You can look no further than 2005′s The Age of Naples as a testament to Christopherson’s sharp and inventive musical genius.

John Balance passed away back in 2004, and sadly Peter now joins him. I hope the two continue making beautiful music together in that great beyond. Those of you unfamiliar with Peter Christopherson, I strongly recommend tracking down Coil’s Horse Rotorvator. It’s a beautiful introduction to this incredible artist, and an utter masterpiece.

Brooklyn’s Light Asylum dropped one of this year’s best EPs which really hasn’t received the sort of press it deserves. Sure we reviewed it, but have you gone out and listened to it yet? It’s available now on iTunes. “Dark Allies” is the sort of over powering goth anthem that’d probably make Andrew Eldritch jealous he didn’t write it first.

Light Asylum don’t currently have a video for “Dark Allies” so you’ll have to make do with this Fader TV clip. But you can find singer Shannon Funchess doing vocals on Teengirl Fantasy’s “Dancing In Slow Motion.” These guys are known for their incredible live shows, but sadly it seems they have none coming up.

I’m in my thirties, son. I’ve got mad old-man humor coursing through my veins. My shit is so sarcastic I can hardly contain my excitement. (for my real dogs: My shit is so sarcastic I fuckin’ TALK in purple type, WHAT!) My sense of irony is so big it’s like a dollar of irony. Say it with me: this is who you’re dealing with.

So you can straight feel me (yo) when I tell you that it makes a motherfucker WAY giggle to hear fools talking about ‘casual gaming’ and ‘social gaming’ like it’s new. Like it’s rad.

Newsflash: casual, social gaming has been around since the early ’80s. It’s called Arcade games. How are you gonna creep up behind a girl who’s got the same haircut as dude from Wargames and get her to spray soda in your mustache when you’re standing at home waving a dildo around at your TV? You aint. Not social.

A casual gaming experience is epitomized by the arcade-style shooter. And the arcade-style shooter thrived—throve—when I was at the stage of my life that focused on frozen yogurt, half-naked pictures of Cindy Crawford, and turning my meager allowance into as many quarters as I could and then snorting them up my fingers.

So here it is. My ode to that. Behold: My Top 5 Favorite Arcade-style Shooters.

0) Preamble: Life Force Boss Battles (1986) [Konami]

I’m sitting in my bedroom, next to my sleeping wife, and I can SEE—fucking SEE!!!!—my unborn child moving around in her. It’s, like, something. I can FEEL myself changing from Granny Smith to Red Delicious, if you can dig that. IT–my boy—has me thinking about Life Force, and how I’m gonna be the boss, and so here. A Life Force Boss Battle rundown. I STARTED this sentence as an explanation of why I haven’t listened to this douchebag at full volume so if he starts talking about Satan or Halliburton or something I apologize.

—–

1) R-Type (1987) [IREM]

If I remember correctly, this game started a lot. Not only did the weapons system and the different ways you could use your ‘option’ sort of revolutionize the whole idea of the shooter, I think it was at about this point when things started to go really fucking bonkers with these games. You didn’t just have patterned sorties of bad dudes (you like that faux military talk?) coming at you in sequence. All hell was breaking loose. Way loose.

—–

2) Viewpoint (1992) [SNK]

This is not only one of my favorite shooters, it’s one of my favorite games of all time. It’s just so perfect in it’s little perspective shift and the small but challenging puzzles it throws your way. Every time I play games on my Wii I check the store for this game, but it’s still not there to my knowledge. It’s also one of a very few NEO GEO games that has never been fully supported in MAME. Cherish every frame you get to play of this…it’s original board/cart only at this point.

3) UN Squadron (1989) [Capcom]

There’s a point in this game where you’re flying over some weird forest fortress and just—while fighting all of the flying enemies, of course—carpet bombing the shit out of it. You side-scroll your way across a few miles and then all of a sudden the gameplay goes on autopilot and your plane makes this super-boss 180-degree turn and you start flying back the way you came while the shit gets even crazier.

Sounds really dumb and whatever to me right now, but I remember this phenomenon totally blowing my fucking mind. I would have eaten dollars and shit tokens down this thing’s money-hole if it asked me to.

—–

4) Vapor Trail: Hyper Offence Formation (1989) [Data East]

This is one of those games that has a ‘rockin’ soundtrack coupled with some super shitty, Bad Dudes-style voice synth. When you die your pilot shouts ‘I can’t hold it!’ as you go down in flames. I always really liked the way the scenery/landscape was set up…the different ‘level’s of isometric freeways and shit that the tanks drive around on always seemed cool.

I though that there were some pretty crazy bosses in this game, too, but this one in the video doesn’t seem all that tough.

—–

5) Legendary Wings (1986) [Capcom]

I’m pretty sure I was terrible at this game, because honestly, I have NO recollection of the adventure/platforming part of this game that this video is showing. I loved this game as much as I did because of the scenery stuff…the weird statues and sculptures that look up at you as you pass them? What? It’s like that part of Fellowship of the Ring when they’re floating down the river and pass the big giant king statues….that sort of stuff blows my mind bigtime. Note to reader: big weird shit in the far-background blows Hateball’s mind bigtime.

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