Growing up I loved wrestling, which I’m sure my parents thought was weird. But, what I’m sure was even weirder was the fact that Goldust was one of my favorite wrestlers then and, being one of wrestling’s greatest heels, he still is today. Goldust, who’s actual name is Dustin Rhodes, has been the subject of controversy from day one.

Often referred to as “The Bizarre One” Goldust has always exuded a level of sexuality and overall mysteriousness not usually associated with wrestlers in the WWE. Anyways, this brings us to THE TAPE. A few weeks ago I was cruising the “For Sale” section on my local Craigslist for old wrestling memorabilia, and I came across a posting for a Goldust Action figure for $10. In small print next to it, read the magical words: “Also comes with a VHS tape of The Best of Goldust, which I made myself.”

An email or two later, the seller had agreed to sell me just the tape for only $5 on the condition that I meet him at his house because he didn’t have a car. What would the tape be like? I mean it was homemade, so I could only hope for a the very least a cool handwritten label. I’m really into cool nostalgic things like that.

Pop culture artifacts if you will. Thirty minutes later I had arrived at his place, which didn’t look like the sorta place I might die, so I went inside. To say his house was trashed would have been giving him credit. I thought about calling the producers of Hoarders AND Intervention, but I couldn’t really tell which he needed more. A few words of small talk about tapes, wrestling, and our love of a certain golden wrestler and I was out of there.

The tape was in a bag so I hadn’t gotten a good look at it until I got back to the car. Once inside I quickly realized I was the new owner of actual gold – no pun intended. This thing had a case and even shitty 90’s graphics on it. On the back it had a description of all the matches which included Undertaker, Bam Bam Bigelow, Roddy Piper, Ultimate Warrior, and even Jake the Snake. I was grinning from ear to ear.

How could I have gotten so lucky. Who was this creepfest seller? Why had he gone through so much trouble to make this? The answers aren’t important. I watched the tape today and it rules to say the least. Such bad quality. I forgot about tracking on VCR’s. Lazy Times indeed.

- King of Hangs