NFL Films has just got something special about it. Like Pixar, they’ve been producing content in an area not always regarded with much prestige, but doing it at a consistent, ludicrously high level. Even if you aren’t the biggest sports fan, you can’t deny the embiggening (hey now) feeling you get from watching NFL Films, like being shepherded back to the time of gladiators and bloodsport and stuff. It rules.
Right now, in conjunction with Hulu, they’re doing a countdown of the 10 best Superbowls ever. Every day they release another 20-30 minute recap of a game. It’s not just a highlight reel though, more of look at all the circumstances, fanfare, and mentality of each contest. Of course, you get the epic, brutal games as well. They’re on #7 right now and have already covered some all-timers. Rams V. Titans in XXXIV: so fucking good. Looking forward to III, XLII, whatever else they have in store. What’re your faves?
While his classmates are practicing their headshots to beef up their gamerscores, John Sanchez is involved in another type of game. A junior in high school, Sanchez has already recorded a fair amount of music and posted it up to Soundcloud. Plays, Favoritings and Comments are the only achievements he’s concerned with as he logs in nightly to play in the internet’s strangest new MMORPG. The Remix Generation has become a sort of quasi arcade frequented by many teenagers grown tired of their Zynga Farms and Mafia Wars. Very few, however, have dared to walk down the shadowy path that leads to the Witch’s Candy Cottage.
Sanchez began making music in 2010. He got his start mashing up pop and indie tracks, under the moniker Aubrey and Friends, before quickly becoming attracted to the DIY spirit of artists like GuMMy†Be▲R!, White Ring and LAKE R▲DIO. Not just satisfied with mere fandom, he ditched his imaginary friends and decided to take the gender ambiguous ÅÜßRÊÿ on a dark ride. It all started getting really good about the time he released “Xenia, Ohio,” a sluggishly blissful journey through warped bass and dragged “Gummo” samples. Oddly enough, he chose to tag his track “Witch Made,” and pretty much forced his way into the micro Coven that Herr GuMMy and I were forming.
What is most impressive about ÅÜßRÊÿ though is his knowledge and love for music. When remixing tracks, he often opts for a rare Nena track over something as obvious as Depeche Mode. Recently he decided to return to the practice of mash up in order to transform Q Lazzarus’ classic “Goodbye Horses” into a fuzzy trance monster. This is true mash up, with emphasis on the mash. Nothing really matches, and the result is a beautiful disaster of loose ends and frayed edges. Sanchez took great care washing the track out to create a dull cassette feel, his way of personally “doing justice to such a great track.”
Chances are, if you were listening to metal in the early 90′s, you’ll know who Crowbar is. But for those who weren’t, I’ll add a little introduction to this New Orleans-based metal band. Their first release, Obedience Thru Suffering hit the shelves in 1991 and since then, the band’s been cultivating a mix of doom and heavy metal. This gritty sound is very pronounced in the Southern United States, with acts like Kylesa, Baroness, Black Tusk and Weedeater giving it more modern exposure. Many albums later and Crowbar releases one of their best albums yet, Sever the Wicked Hand.
12 tracks and 50 minutes isn’t a bad way to come back after six years. One thing that Sever the Wicked Hand has that their last release, Lifesblood For the Downtrodden lacks, is a consistent and concise sound and approach. The album listens very smoothly with each strike of the drum nailing perfection. Kirk Windstein’s vocals sound better than ever and Tommy Buckley’s drums are dead-on precise. This is an album that doesn’t rely on production, it’s merely a component.
Some of the tracks that stick out from the rest are “Liquid Sky And Cold Black Earth”. This is what Crowbar embodies. Slow and heavy riffs and drums colliding for over 6 minutes. Windstein’s echoing bellows add to the instruments, rather than take away from them. The following track, “Let Me Mourn” sounds like something out of the latest Shrinebuilder album. More pain and anguish echoed through this engagement through vocals and percussions.
Sever the Wicked Hand requires little critique. It’s a perfect continuation of Crowbar’s long history of making solid, Southern doom metal. The band’s performance is on point and precise. While the album is clearly doom metal with its slow tempos and heavy, colliding percussions, there is a healthy mix of just plain old Southern rock mixed in. If you’re worried about a lack of metal, seek out “Cleanse Me, Heal Me”, the second to last track. Here’s where Crowbar does their version of Metallica-esque thrash. I wouldn’t miss this album, especially if you grew up jamming out to these guys.
John Prolly is a man with large calfs who rides a bicycle with no brakes and then jumps it off of ramps and junk. Bicycles are pretty cool. I have one that I ride everywhere. I don’t get how some people can make them their whole lives but some do, like Prolly. Early bicycles looked kind of like modern bikes and like the fixed gear bicycles of today they didn’t have any brakes. They also didn’t have pedals or gears. You just pushed yourself along on the ground and hoped that your travels were mostly downhill.
Eventually they made some bikes with crank pedals that were weird looking. Later they invented pennyfarthings which were named because they looked like a large coin next to a tiny one. Those bikes were totally awesome and completely deadly. People invented gears, brakes and inflatable rubber tires and a little over a century later it’s now the most popular commuter vehicle there is. Some people, stupids mostly, think that the Wright Brothers invented the bicycle but they only contributed to it’s improvement. Мишка are the true inventors of the bicycle. We just made one. Hooray for us. We are like a modern day Wright Brothers. And Prolly is our guinea pig. And our guinea pig has a logo. And that logo is a Viking.
I’ve never met John Prolly so I don’t know why this man whose calves each look like a Brazilian woman’s ass is into Vikings, but he is. Vikings are kind of a mystery and most of what people associate with vikings is based on modern representations. Vikings weren’t just pirates, they were also merchants, explorers. They did some raiding and pillaging but they also traded and discovered stuff.
There’s also no basis for the image of Vikings having worn helmets with horns on them. That may have come from Prince Valiant comics. They rode around in long ships and were Norse. That’s what made them vikings. Now you know, you viking come lately. I know Flava Flav made all the kids think Vikings were some hip new trend but you’ve been duped. They were just guys in boats. And Prolly is just a guy on a bike. A guy who I suspect may have calf implants.
The Prolly Viking logo is available now as a New Era Fitted and on two T-shirts, one in Black and another in White. Get Pitted Brohams!
Мишка
350 Broadway
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— Мишка LA
1547 Echo Park Ave
Los Angeles, CA
Holy hilarity Batman! Archer is back on TV! Before last year, I had become sort of disillusioned with animated shows that weren’t on adult swim. I was never much of a Family Guy guy, and after King of the Hill went off the air, I just stopped watching cartoons. But when I heard Adam Reed (Sealab 2021) was getting a new show on FX, my interest was piqued. FX in general has been stepping it’s game up considerably in recent years.
Archer fit right into it’s hilarious docket of comedies (The League, It’s Always Sunny), and in my opinion became the funniest of the bunch. Now, season 2 is upon us! Huzzah. The first episode, which aired last night, was as good as ever. The animation is great, and H. Jon Benjamin is unbelievably funny as Sterling Archer, the super spy cum sexual deviant. It continues to expertly spoof the spy genre, while also having most of it’s humor built around the characters (which is always better).
I know a lot of shows, especially those on adult swim, have tried to wring a lot of humor out of pushing the taste envelope. I will admit that at times it has worn on me. I like dirty/violent/disgusting humor as much as the next guy, but it can also become sort of a crutch. Archer, however, retains a very high and smart quality of writing, while also reaching levels of profanity that at times even shock me.
The supporting voice cast is awesome too, especially Jessica Walter (Lucille from Arrested Development) and Chris Parnell (SNL). “Swiss Miss” was a great start to the season and saw the team headed to Gstaad to try to protect a German businessman and his nymphomaniacal 16 year old daughter from twin assassins (both of whom are sleeping with the same woman, and one of whom has had his face burnt off). If that sounds at all appealing (it should), please, grab a cocktail (something brown, please) and watch Archer.
Though usually much more in concept than in execution, survival horror very well may be my favorite video game genre. The attempt to put the player in a truly scary situation, in which you can fear for your life while at the same time knowing that, in fact, you’re just sitting on your couch, is a noble one. Especially when I was a kid, oh boy, I loved that stuff. Alone In The Dark, Clock Tower, 7th Guest (sex ‘n shit!), Resident Evil, it was all good for me.
Gotta admit though, the genre’s fallen a bit in recent years. Even though there were some good games (Alan Wake, Resident Evil 5, Doom 3), and even a truly great one (RE4), the last actually terrifying game I played was probably System Shock II. Then, there was Dead Space. I fucking loved that game. Maybe there were some areas that needed polishing, but as far as new IP’s go, I was truly impressed. Also, I was scared.
Maybe it’s because I love space horror, and the USG Ishimura was such a loving homage to the Nostromo, one of my favorite spaceships ever. Also, the Necromorphs are just amazing. The perfect marriage of HP Lovecraft and HR Giger. So of course I was excited and trepidatious in equal measure for the sequel. See, game sequels have a tendency to fuck things up. Change the essential skeleton (no pun intended) for the purpose of being bigger or flashier or whatever. Luckily, Dead Space 2 did not do that.
Even better than the original, Dead Space 2 definitely sets the high water mark for modern survival horror. It’s a really, really good game. Playing once again as Isaac Clarke, you’re thrust headfirst back into the battle with the demonic Necromorphs, this time on gigantic Jupiter-orbiting space city The Sprawl. Word. The game gets going right away with a brutal, stunningly violent and terrifying opening and pretty much doesn’t let up from there.
I stayed up entirely too late last night finishing the game, and I must say, I was pretty jumpy at times. Alone in my dark apartment, wind howling outside, I just felt wonderfully immersed. There’s a little more story this time, and Isaac has been given a voice. He was a Master Chief style strong silent type in the original, and I thought making him an active character might be a dumb decision. But it totally works, as he’s not just some boringly heroic stock character. He’s actually going insane from experiencing the events of the first game.
The voice acting and script is also quite good. The game looks great, as did the original, with sprawling space vistas as well as cramped claustrophobic corridors. The change of venue allowed Visceral Games to inject more variety into their levels, with locations like a mall, a tram system, and (shudder) a kindergarten. There are new Necromorphs and new mining tools to sever limbs and heads with. The story doesn’t flag at all in the third act and the ending is great. Basically, I really love this game, and plan on playing through it multiple times. Get it!
Not much else in electropop sounds like Fujiya & Miyagi. Whether you love or hate them, you have to at least give the Brighton, UK trio points for originality. Creating dance pop out of Krautrock, David Best’s now trademark whisper soft sing-talk weaves through minimal grooves. For their fourth album, Ventriloquizzing, Fujiya & Miyagi enlist producer Thomas Monahan (known for his folk production work with Vetiver and Devendra Banhart). The result is an album that’s far more art rock than dance pop. Fujiya & Miyagis’ normally cold, sterile sound finally warms up.
Vocally, there’s little that separates Ventriloquizzing from anything else in the band’s catalog. It is the unfortunate elephant in the room that keeps the album from being a true step forward for Fujiya & Miyagi. Best holds onto his vocal formula of breathy, nonsensical sing-talk with white knuckles. At times his assorted word pairings find a poetic, melodic high ground, “You go up and down like a yoyo / You change your mind when the wind blows” (“Yoyo”) but mostly the lyrics arrive in flat, lifeless batches, “He told me what the flavor was, Minestrone” (“Minestrone”).
Monahan’s production influence saves Ventriloquizzing from falling into easily forgettable territory. Extended guitar work solidifies the band’s Krautrock influences. “Pills” buzzes with a steady thread of electric guitar that with the addition of keyboard becomes a dizzy, long-player combining Fujiya & Miyagis’ pop sensibilities with rock interest. “Sixteen Shades of Black & Blue” relies on syncopation. Percussion drives guitar riffs forward as a line of synth whirrs overhead. The vocals are minimal and repetitive. Finally Fujiya & Miyagi pull out a track where Best seems cognizant of the instruments playing around him—and it’s one of the best moments of their catalog.
Fujiya & Miyagi don’t push far enough on Ventriloquizzing to make it anything great, but there is considerable instrumental development that suggests there’s more to this band than quirky words.
I love me some Cheveu! “Charlie Sheen” is the brand new video from the Paris, France three-piece from their most recent album, 1000. The album dropped late in 2010 and to be honest It slipped my radar that these guys had even put out something new. This track is fuckin’ killer though! I’d never heard the band sound this polished and catchy. 1000 is available now over at Kill Shaman Records.
Shitty title. But I don’t even care. I’m so stoked right now – and I don’t even care about sports! Very accidentally apropos with the upcoming Superbowl situation. No plan or forethought intended at all.
And really, what I have to say here is just BARELY associated with football. Huddles. Huddles were these little cutesy cartoonified versions of NFL mascots. In REALLY high-quality. And with maximized nostalgia hit. Yay.
But, really, I’m most excited that these little fuckers are real. These dudes spun me out for about a week. I was up on CONFERENCE CALLS hijacking polycoms like a motherfucker and straight speakerphoning fools about these things.
“You know…like Football Precious Moments.” “Muppet Babies meets the NFL.” “You don’t remember those?” I searched for mini NFL. Vintage Cartoon Mascots. 80s NFL Novelty Mascots. And you know what? These seem to all be weird Google passphrases for ‘random merchandise with a weird smattering of mainstream-ish, softcore porn.’ Feel free to try it.
So now, the big question: Does anybody else remember these? I would totally want a set of the pins or a set of cards. Or shit…even just a set of hi-res jpeg scans. I think the style and execution (of the drawings, at least) is just so awesome.
Xavier Roberts meets Rainbow Brite. Or something like that. A few more examples and shitty images here. Cyco Simon Huddle. Bring that shit on, pls. Kthxbyenow.
