From killer tomatoes to a vagina with teeth, horror directors have a special gift for turning average, nonthreatening, and even lovable objects into vicious abominations with undying cravings for living flesh and blood. Ryan Lightbourn’s short film Roid Rage is a perfect example of this less than tasteful inventiveness. Well, its not about steroids ladies and gents, so let’s see if you can guess what the real topic of this fine piece of cinema is.

Thats absolutely right. It’s based around a giant, mutated hemorrhoid that kills hookers and other curious folk who get too close to one man’s heinous anus. The comedic influence is more than clear after watching the hi-def trailer and hearing the film’s tagline. How could a film about ferocious anal abscesses take itself completely seriously. Apparently the producers have plans to re-release the flick in 3D and I’m all for that. Ass pimples coming within inches of your face might actually keep an audience.

Watch for Roid Rage at your local film festival or chinese theater and don’t forget the Preparation H. In the hallowed words of the movie’s slogan, “This is one salad you don’t wanna toss”.

- Casper