The Chinese hipster, an elusive breed of Asiatic settler that exists clothed in irony, in the truest sense of the word, usually consists of a solemn-faced Orientals rocking threads that resemble an ensemble you might find on a trendy Williamsburg window-shopper. Immigrant chic is a purported fashion anomaly, occurring all around the world, arisen from the incidental clothing choices of foreigners that leave them looking somewhere in between homeless and bohemian.

Where else better to find a site completely devoted to snapping photos of a bizarre cultural curiosity but tumblr. The aptly titled miniblog Accidental Chinese Hipsters recently began compiling a database of candids shot in different U.S. cities of our far east friends styling in outfits that would deem them “hip” by today’s standards. The key is that the subject or accidental fashionista is unaware of their outfit’s connotations, creating another laughable subculture all their own, both spoofing and contributing to the petty paradox that is hipsterism.

Flooded with photographs of wrinkly elders and fresh-off-the-boat teens wearing snapbacks cocked to the side and skinny jeans, the website is a beautiful tribute to the inadvertent vogue of overseas-born citizens.  I can’t wait till we have senior citizens on the subways calling each other hipsters in Chinese. They aren’t trying to be vintage, they are vintage.

Thanks to our own intentional Chinese Hipster Dennis Chow for the link.

For centuries, scholars and sages attempted to answer the age old question: who is the hardest? Certainly not cookie-cutter butt metal, recycled rave tracks or Jason Mraz. After the rise of low bitrate MP3s and deteriorating sound quality across the globe, many believers gave up the quest to find The Hardest of Them All. However, over the last decade, psychics and soothsayers have revealed the location of an energy source with power so immense, so devastating that the people of Earth finally have an answer to this ancient conundrum. Witches and warlocks, look no further than Bristol’s legendary team of dubstep undertakers: H.E.N.C.H. Recordings.

Before we begin, we can’t start the H.E.N.C.H. (Hard Earned Never Caught Hustlin’) story without getting to know the godfather of Bristol drum and bass and dubstep, Jermaine Jacobs, aka Jakes. The world was first introduced to Jermaine Jacobs as MC Jakes, the charismatic voice of TC‘s most notorious anthems “Deep,” “Drink” and “Mindkiller.” With such international success from his work with TC and the label D-Style Recordings, it was only a matter of time before J. Jacobs began to expand his unique vision from the mic to the decks. With his ears directed to the underground and to the rapidly evolving sound of dubstep, it was time for Mr. Jacobs to become Jakes. In 2007, Jakes founded H.E.N.C.H., which would soon become the legendary Bristol dubstep crew, record label and club night it’s known as today.

The second you place the needle on a H.E.N.C.H. record, you’ll immediately notice the dynamic and rich sound quality of each cut over the majority of dubstep you hear today. With such attention to detail—from the lowest of low sub bass tones to the snares that cut like katanas—few can compare to the craft and sound design of a H.E.N.C.H. artist’s dedication to a great mixdown. These bangers are specifically designed for proper soundsystems. The members of H.E.N.C.H. also remain true to the best aspects of classic dub: space and atmosphere. Every track utilizes negative space just as much as it fills every frequency. Though it’s clear H.E.N.C.H. Recordings is infamous for each artists’ contribution to the global wobble sound, each song has an incredible sense of rhythm and tension.

When it comes to their catalog, the artists on H.E.N.C.H. individually have unique soundscapes without restrictions. Each member contributes their own sense of energy, unexpected sample choices, dread and humor. While Jakes can be found sampling classic 90′s hip hop or a disturbing scene from a Stanley Kubrick film, you can find Komonazmuk sampling some dub next to Chasing Shadows sampling classic rock. Relentless, never compromising or predictable, H.E.N.C.H. always dishes the filth like no other.

It’s clear H.E.N.C.H. is here to stay. With such instant classics as Jakes‘ Rock The Bells, the hard hitting Eddie K & Minus‘ tracks featuring the maniacal vocal stylings of one Beezy and this year’s menacing collaboration from Sukh Knight, Mensah and Squarewave called “G Activity,” this Bristol crew of invincible sound system warriors won’t be stopping now.

For those in the NYC area, you do NOT want to miss the Мишка sponsored event in a few weeks featuring the drill sergeant himself, Jakes. As for the rest of us, you can either cower in fear or show us your WARFACE!

The American remake of the Australian comedy series Wilfred premiered on FX Thursday night and I hereby deem it the summer comedy jam of 2011. The original show was a subversive hit in Australia, picked up by IFC in the States, then bought by FX for the remake treatment.

Elijah Wood (who keeps looking younger somehow) plays Ryan, an ex-lawyer in the midst of a severe nervous breakdown. We’re introduced to him through a frustrating suicide attempt. He’s about to give it another go when his cutie pie neighbor (Fiona Gubelmann) asks if he’ll watch her dog, Wilfred. For no reason (and frankly, I don’t want one), Ryan doesn’t see Wilfred as a dog. He sees a man in a dog suit.

Played by Aussie comedian/musician Jason Gann, Wilfred pals up to Ryan, who initially doesn’t see the humor or point in Wilfred’s tough-love pranks. For me the funniest part about Wilfred is not that he’s a man in a dog suit drinking beer and humping stuffed animals, it’s his deadpan canine personality traits and how he has to explain them to Ryan. He’s digging holes because he’s anxious his owner is never coming home. He wants to chase and kill a motorcycle. He can smell shit particles. Etc.

Anyone who knows and loves a dog can understand these traits. Seeing a big Australian dude act them out and explain them to a suicidal Elijah Wood is hilarious. Wood is great too. He’s one of those actors that have that certain…je ne sais pas. Something about him just makes him interesting to watch. This show is going to be awesome. Definitely make it part of your summer TV schedule. More specifically, make it part of the schedule that includes shows you like to drink/smoke while you watch.

Wilfred airs Thursdays at 10pm on FX. Check out the official Wilfred FX site to watch extra goodies.

Upon a recent viewing of The Top 50 WWE Superstars Countdown on NetFlix Instant, I now have a real bone to pick with the current stable of wrestlers employed by Vince MacMahon. I’m entirely aware that most countdown programs of this ilk are created to stir up a bit of controversy and get people talking around the water cooler, but man, this power rankings was a bitter pill to swallow. The list presented here, voted on by a collection of bone-headed WWE superstars, could be described as both egregious and poorly conceived. I won’t spoil the entire countdown, but you may want to stop reading at this point if you plan on actually viewing the program at any point… I’m about to drop a few bombs on your headz.

It’s understandable that some of my favorite, more idiosyncratic, wrestlers didn’t make the cut when all was said and done. As electrifying as D’Lo Brown’s frog-splash derived Low Down truly was, I never realistically expected the former Nation of Domination member to make the cut. For all intents and purposes, the dude wore a chest protector when squaring up in the ring (shouldn’t this have been considered illegal?). Getting back on topic, however, I was shocked and dismayed when it was announced that Mr. America himself, Hulk Hogan, had slid all the way down the countdown into the 23rd slot!

Lately, information has started to surface regarding the shady nature, and dicey double-dealings of the Hulkster. We actually posted a clip recently, displaying some unsavory remarks the Ultimate Warrior had to make surrounding the former wrestler and reality television star. Really though, there’s no conceivable way this TMZ-style dirt should have been reflected in the overall scheme of the program. Ty Cobb was a noted racist, and considered a total fucking douche-bag by most accounts, but the guy’s still looked upon today as one of the greatest ball players to ever pick up the bat. No matter what you have to say surrounding Hogan’s actions behind the scenes, or even his in-ring short comings, Hulk should have placed higher. The superstar was potentially the first guy to transition from WWF wrestler (in it’s most strict sense), into full blow celebrity territory. I don’t think this fact should be swept under the rug.

Another issue that arose throughout much of the countdown was its insistence on assigning olde timey superstars with a little too much credit. As popular, and technically sound, as Harley Race may have been throughout his hey day, there’s  no way his #6 rank should have eclipsed guys like The Macho Man and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper within the confines of the countdown. Last time I checked his IMDB page (which was never), Harley Race hadn’t yet starred in a single Slim Jim Commercial, or acted as a wayfarer-sporting crusader in the fight against mind-controlling aliens. While a wrestler’s worth shouldn’t be solely based on how often his mug can be seen on The Spike Network, I’ll bet Race also wasn’t flying off the turnbuckles all that often either.

Fast Forwarding to the top of this professional wrestling crap heap, I must reveal that Shawn Michaels is eventually presented with the distinction of  all-time greatest WWE superstar. As much as I loved both the Heart Break Kid’s swag, and reveled in his entrance music, I’m not sure he’s deserving of this slot. Michaels recently left the game with his popularity at an all time high, but it seemed to me that the original DX member never really approached the star status of wrestlers like The Rock or Stone Cold Steve Austin.

I’ve dished out a fair amount of Suck-It’s in my day, and you can’t really hate on a guy that finishes off his opponents by kicking them in their faces, but something just doesn’t feel right crowning Mr. Michaels with this title… Personally, I would have prefered this number 1 rank be given to someone more prone to wearing a single knee brace, and spraying CEO’s with truck full’s of beer.

Need a new mixtape to listen to this summer, but tired of the tame, predictable tunes you hear over and over on the radio? Then you should definitely check out Seclusiasis‘ latest free mixtape compilation, Dev79 Presents Street Bass Bootlegs. These are not your little cousins’ bootlegs; these are the wildest bass music interpretations of modern hip hop classics from top underground producers.

Street Bass Bootlegs of course features Dev79 along with the likes of Starkey, 6Blocc and Proper Villains revisited everyone from Aaliyah, Beanie Man, Gucci to R. Kelly with their distinct Philly flavor and street bass style.

Daddy Yankee – Yankee Man (COPS remix) by COPS

Check out one of my favorite tracks from the compilation, COPS‘ out-of-control bass music rework of Daddy Yankee’s “Yankee Man” (I think I hear a David Lee Roth “Running With The Devil” sample in there?!) Download the mix below and check the tracklisting after the jump.

Download Dev79 Presents Street Bass Bootlegs (Click Here)

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As I’m sure most of you know, Kreayshawn and V-Na$ty of the self-made crew White Girl Mob, are doin’ big things this year. The single, “Gucci Gucci,” has known no limits as it’s almost broken the four-million-view glass ceiling, seeing it’s release on YouTube only a month prior and propelling them beyond the viral video death sentence onto a pulpit where the hood fashion queens stay preaching ghetto fabulousness and fair treatment for all. The ivory hoodrats are currently catching a lot of flack not on the basis of their music but because of their language.

Being a Caucasian woman in hip-hop is comparable to a minnow among a school of fish, it’s a survival-of-the-fittest population, where shattering gender roles, or more importantly stereotypes and prejudices, can prove to be next to impossible. These fly girls have managed to abandon the entitled, suburban institution that remains reinforced by affluent, sorority hoes through just keeping it real and saying what they mean, even if that involves using the word — dare I say — “nigga.”

Vanessa, V-Na$ty, has amassed plenty of criticism over her day-in-the-life video recordings that capture the alabaster-skinned jailbird meandering the streets of Oakland firing off the stigmatic word every couple of seconds as if it had been a vital part of her speech pattern from birth. Haters are coming out of the woodwork claiming that these princesses should get their asses handed to them for the flagrant violation of an unspoken code of verbal conduct. That’s where Bay Area boss, Mistah F.A.B., jumps in with a response to all the hypocritical slobs out there calling for the heads of the White Girl Mob.

Mistah F.A.B. reports on a double-standard that, with 2011 and the abuse of the word, has become dated and defunct. The rapper has got these bitches’ backs on this one, challenging all the cynics for their own contradictory set of beliefs and weak arguments for hating on a couple of moneymaking females doing what they do and representing for the streets more than numerous others with a different skin color. It pleases me to hear F.A.B. serve up a nice helping of truthfulness without having to feign offended.

Stoned Boys – Burning Cities Forever [Look At Me] // Grade: A-

Holy shit, Stoned Boys! This Moscow duo’s self-proclaimed “mini-album” is one of those most energized (and energizing) electronic releases I’ve heard all year. Clearly influenced by both witch house and synth-pop, but not beholden to either, Burning Cities Forever erupts in a lava-flow of glitchy, gorgeous, danceable noise, the sort that stuns you silent as often as it lulls you into a trance. Take a track like the opening “Anger”, this blown-up shock of a thing dancing around so much dreamy quiet. There’s no guessing where its sounds will take you next—and when “Lost In A Burning Garden” creeps in after it like some washed-out Pet Shop Boys, you know your guesses probably would’ve been wrong anyway. Look At Me called it “electro-terrorism,” and maybe that’s true; if by terror, you mean sheer unexpectation.

But despite never revealing what’s around their next corner, Stoned Boys let slip some seriously heavy moments. The monolithic bass threaded throughout “Needles” and “Spirits”, the pulse and sizzle of “Africa” and so many heated, resonant sounds clamoring for your undivided attention; it’s a lot to hear in one space, but Cities never sounds unintentionally overloaded. Stoned Boys know how to edit, they just really want you to feel overwhelmed. It’s all part of that heaviness and the dynamic it courts: intense, insane, too much…then nothing. Maudlin, wafty ambience before it all becomes too much, too fast, all over again, and you’re forced to dance it all away in their hellish firestorm of a city. Seriously great stuff; I can’t wait to hear what Stoned Boys burn next.

Download Stoned Boys’ Burning Cities Forever (Click Here)

Prepare yourself for some serious culture vomit, ladies and germs. The electronic-scored satire LOLs Will Tear Us Apart plays like the binging and purging of a Computer Processing Unit. Artist and sometime fashion designer Matt Damhave makes visual collages, under his pen-name of sorts Unchi Neko, having undoubtedly spent a lot of energy figuring out how to fit his dick snugly between the folds in your grey matter.

Unchi Neko’s montage of memes and internet-age viral videos is a sardonic response to the hyper-limited attention span of Generation Z, the internet generation. The jarring collection of royalty-free imagery peels back the scab of humanity causing something esoteric, underexposed, and humorous to breach the media-hardened skin.

Mind-melting 4chan diarrhea and other excrement drudged up from the far reaches of the internets are assembled into social weapons and turned against it’s creator. War footage, furries, and rioting make for massive sensory flooding and some hearty lolz imho. This is institution jamming at it’s finest.

The video, or mash-up really, warrants a comparison between itself and the oh-so-popular TV Carnage DVDs. The big difference though, is the overwhelming sociopolitical commentary that underscores the digital narrative in this case. Neko enacts the historian, picking at the mind of the average conscious citizen and forcing him or her to point and laugh at themselves in 2011. Get their latest tape, (un)radio over at Trilogy Tapes.

Last week I looked at Severin Films‘ kick ass DVD release of Bloody Birthday, next up is the 1973 psychological shocker, The Baby (also being released on June 28th). I’ve been salivating for this release since Severin announced it early this year. I found The Baby a couple years ago on Cinemageddon – the greatest file sharing site in the world – and it instantly became my “Duuude, have you seen this?!?!” movie. It’s a provocative and disturbing movie that’s really impossible to pigeonhole into any genre or label such as “exploitation.” Directed by Hollywood vet Ted Post (Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Magnum Force), The Baby is a pitch-perfect, bizarro thriller that slowly builds up the tension until the third act when it takes a dramatically dark twist.

Social worker and grieving widow Ann Gentry (Anjanette Comer) is sent to check out the Wadsworth family. They have a rep for being an eccentric clan, made up of Mother, her two daughters Germaine and Alba, and Baby. Baby, that’s his only name, is in fact not a baby at all. He’s a 30-year-old man (played by David Mooney) who sleeps in an oversized crib, wears adult diapers, and has the mental capacity of… a baby. Ann quickly becomes obsessed with Baby and attempts to spark his development into manhood, but Mother Wadsworth and her kin aren’t too keen on the idea of Baby “growing up.”

The Mother, played by Ruth Roman – 20 years after her lead in Hitchcock’s Strangers on a Train – is  the beast matriarch from hell. She wants nothing to do with social services other than the check they send her. Her two voluptuous daughters complete the suburban trinity of evil that don’t shy from abuse or cattle prods in their “raising” of Baby. The final 10 minutes of the film are a chaotic trip into maternal hell that connects all the dots that have been stacked up over the first 80 minutes – like rabbit punches to the face. I like that. I like when reveals are delivered in rapid succession and barely give you time to catch your breath. The climax of The Baby delivers that kind of psychotic relentlessness that sends the film straight into nightmarish OH SHIT territory. It’s one of my favorite movie endings and is sure to haunt the bejeezus out of you.

Severin, as expected, gives the film a fantastic treatment with their special edition DVD. It’s presented in a crisp and clean hi-def transfer from the original negative. Included are two great audio interviews: “Tale From the Crib” and “Baby Talk.” In the prior, director Ted Post talks about how he got involved with the picture and his initial reaction to the “negative” aspects of the story. In “Baby Talk,” and enthusiastic David Mooney (Baby) tells all! Mooney’s interview is really terrific. The guy is so positive in his discussion on this fringe ’70s movie is really fun to listen to.

The Baby is out on DVD June 28. Now c’mon Severin, when are we gonna see a Bad Ronald release? Pretty please?