Autre Ne Veut – Body EP (2011) [Hippos In Tanks] // Grade: A

Autre Ne Veut feels supernatural. Alien almost. Last year’s brilliant self-titled debut was an unfamiliar pile of sound, this psychotic R&B inflected pop rocketing off into the cosmos, curiouser and curiouser. New EP Body isn’t entirely dissimilar—the most recognizable elements remain: teenage-melodrama melodies, robotic synth movements, those falsetto vocals preening over so many digitized drums—but there’s a richness to these tracks, a full-bodied depth, that suggest how next level ANV’s about to go.

But nevermind all that. Not now. Let’s deal first with the thrill of the moment; Body’s got you hooked from minute one. Opener “Sweetheart” swims into being with a lush soundscape, all water and monsters, discordant harmonies creeping below Autre’s gilded voice. And the slow, frenetic burn of it carries seamlessly into “Not The One (Feat. She Wolf)”, maybe the most irresistible song here; it’s what you’d get if you crossed Fever Ray’s “Triangle Walks” with Kate Bush’s “Sat In Your Lap”, then overlaid it with Autre’s soulful sense of melody. Dare you not to hit repeat.

And then: The Princeian-ballad comedown “Just Return” flickering between terrifying string surges and sweet, desperate crooning. The chaotic pop singalong of “Your Clothes”, a late-summer jam if ever there was one. And after that, fewer than 15 minutes since the clock started on Body, it’s gone. Lurched briefly in to whet your appetite for whatever’s coming next—and left a hell of an otherworldly impression in the meantime. Definitely a set of songs to hear now.

Today it was announced that McDonald’s will be giving the Happy Meal a makeover. Barely.

Starting in September, Happy Meals will now feature smaller french fry portions, the choice of fat-free chocolate milk or 1% low-fat white milk, among other choices, and, get this, apple slices! This, in addition to the classic heart of the kid’s meal, consisting of either a hamburger, cheese burger, or chicken nuggets. According to a statement made by the corporation, “By adding fruit to every Happy Meal, McDonald’s hopes to address a challenge children face in meeting the recommended daily consumption of produce.” The challenge, it should be noted, comes in large part from children eating too much fast food, and while this is a step in the right direction, it is in some ways only masking the problem. Of course, with the issue of fast food over-consumption comes the financial difficulties of eating healthy and the underlying social class structure that exists across America, so whatever. This is a start.

The thing about the current state of the Happy Meal though, over fifty percent of which are purchased solely for the toy (At least, I imagine that’s true. I kind of totally made that figure up.), is that in San Francisco, and possibly soon in New York, the toys have been banned! Though, really, this may be a good thing. If that figure I made up is at all correct, then many kids do in fact buy Happy Meals for the toys and end up eating the meal just as a means to get the awesome plastic thing. If even some kids are discouraged from purchasing a Happy Meal due to a lack of plastic, then maybe that will actually do something about this whole obesity epidemic.

This, however, raises the question: How will kids get those apple slices?

McDonald’s as a whole has recently been striving to develop a healthier, more positive company image, the first step of which, has been phasing out Ronald the Cholesterol Clown. Recent add campaigns have seen significantly less of the clown, instead featuring young singers and dancers that people may actually find attractive.

But again: The apple slices.

Over the last year, Philadelphia’s Flufftronix has made waves as part of the Luvstep crew, mixing melodic tunes and showing the softer side of dubstep. You won’t hear any luvstep at Fluff’s newest party, PHLTH: this is the scary shit he keeps locked in the basement.

PHLTH promises to be a night of low-end mischief, where you’ll hear everything from trap hop to crack house. Flufftronix is no stranger to bringing talent to Philly, having shown Rusko, Benga, Girl Unit, Bok Bok, L-Vis 1990, Kingdom, Joker, Deathface, Roska and Ikonika brotherly love. He kicks off the inaugural PHLTH with Midwestern drumstep king Figure. Opening sets will be provided by Suga Shay and DirtyDave.

Dirty music has a new home. Get your PHLTH on this Thursday.

Thursday July 28th, 9pm – 2am
Fluid Nightclub
613 S. 4th St.
Philadelphia, PA
$8 Advance tickets | $12 at the door
+18 to Enter

If the goal of a television show is to keep you watching, then this week’s episode of True Blood succeeded. It had that sort of “son of a bitch it’s over?” cliffhanger ending that makes you regret your inability to pierce time and space with your Dong of Atemporality. If only I could run fast enough, using it to pierce the thin skein that keeps us transcending space and time.

Speaking of it, my Dong of Atemporality reached critical mass during this episode of True Blood when pale-skinned curvy bitty Jessica took to mounting Sir Jason Stackhouse during a dream sequence. Goodness gracious was I ready to run into a wall with said Dong, smashing through timber and dry board and whatever stands in my way.

I enjoy this Jason seeing Jessica in his dreams dynamic. It’s not only because it gives me the experience of feeling every iota of blood flow to my groin, but it’s the comedic element that’s been missing from the show. I like Jason Stackhouse making me laugh, g’damnit!. And I especially like it when it also involves my favorite female on the show scantily clad.

Boom! End senseless references to my groin. Maybe.

As Jessica grinds into Jason’s dream crotch, Sookie and Eric are frolicking throughout the shitty swamps of Bon Temps. Should you have taken a shit, gotten a cookie, or passed out from watching the scene between Jason and Jessica, I’ll recap all of Sookie and Eric’s scenes for you.

Eric: QQ, I am sad. I am the evil man.

Sookie: Naw ya’ll! Ur a good guy deep down.

Eric: I am brooding and unhappy. Stare at my abs.

Sookie: I never thought that I’d let you in my house, sniffing my groin. Life is crazy!

Eric: I want to be good. Godric said I was naughty. Am I naughty?

Sookie: Your silken hair makes my yokel crotch moisten!

You just follow that through for a good fifteen minutes or so of screen time and you have the entirety of their interaction in the show. Shit finally gets good when Sookie gives up the ass – c’mon it’s all she’s good for in this show, being a sexualized object with no agency – and we all know Bill is going to shit a brick.

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Elite Gymnastics – Ruin 1 & 2 (2011) [Psychedelic Surf Club] // Grade: B-

Funny story. Yesterday I reviewed the wrong Elite Gymnastics album.  I sat down, barked critically, through some sweat-dripping keyboard pounding (a little embellishment never hurt anyone), only to discover upon completion that I had listened to and written up an older EP that was released earlier this year. Although I had to toss the whole thing right in the trash bin, this small faux pas familiarized me with the band’s material though, and while I felt what I had heard was — and I’ll be honest — mediocre, it did help put into perspective this strong double EP that speaks to the duo’s self-awareness and experimentation.

OK, so I’ll assume you haven’t heard Elite Gymnastics (or maybe your remember this old YSBLT we did) and go ahead and tell you that this digital, double EP, Ruin 1 & 2, is their sharpest effort to date. Breakbeats pour out over electronic keyboard strokes that sound straight out of the C+C Music Factory on songs like “So Close To Paradise” and “Minneapolis Belongs To You.” Harnessing late 80′s/early 90′s Miami nightclub ambiance and mingling it with distant, indie electronica vocal stylings, the product is a fluid, chilly dance orchestration. “Omamori” and “Little Things” are more emotional and memorable than their album-mates. These songs would fit right in on a Postal Service record with their sweet, ringing vocals and simplistic beats.

But no we’re not done yet, Ruin 2 is a remixing of the tracks on the first part that cuts down the BPMs, forming a blissed-out, slow-burning candle of echoed depressiveness. This additional output really is a nice touch, flashing the group’s above-average production skills. The release is an enjoyable one and definitely has me singing another tune as far as my initial impression of Elite Gymnastics goes. For even more fun, randomize all of the tracks on both EPs, for a strangely satisfying, unpredictable playlist of alternating sweep and drag beats.

Download Elite Gymnastics Ruin 1 EP (Click Here)

Download Elite Gymnastics Ruin 2 EP (Click Here)

Guess what I’m doing? I’m flipping through a collection of photos of some dudes mobbing through the dusky streets of Hungary on bicycles. That in itself rules, but what really puts a smile on my face is that these guys have compiled a Mишка lookbook out of it, paying tribute to our Summer 2011 line. The posse got some great b&w and color candids while galavanting about in a changing lineup of our tees from this season giving us that fuzzy, proud-father feeling inside.

mashKULTURE is down with what we do here and they set out to prove it one debaucherous night in Budapest as the ruffians biked around the city pissing in nature, checking out girls, and occasionally stopping into a convenient store to refuel on beer and fuck around in the aisles. The photographer, named simply Barnie, caught some beautifully uninhibited moments with his lens, enough to bring a tear to our glazed and bloodshot-from-the-night-before, Keep Watch eye.

If their style of photography tickles your fancy, you may want to check out the lookbook they did for Rebel8 last month, shit’s baller. Hey, who knows, at this rate we may hire these mopsters to do some real-deal professional work for us one day. See the rest of the lookbook here.

You know them, you love them: it’s Nadastrom. Dave and Matt were recently interviewed by club legend Cosmo Baker for Scion A/V. The two talk about their earliest collaborations, the surprise success of their Pussy EP, and (of course) moombahton.

The rise of Nadastrom mirrors the rise of DC, which after years of being a cultural buzzkill finally forged a creative community. They’ve since moved to LA to work more closely with Dubsided label head Switch, but they still represent DC: the duo headline Wednesday’s Moombahton Massive at the U Street Music Hall, along with Sabo, Zuzuka Poderosa, DJ Orion, and Thee Mike B. ¡Dalé moombahton!

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away Toyota USA contacted me about documenting a project they were working on with Parlee Cycles and DeepLocal. Parlee makes handmade carbon fiber road, track and cross frames in Beverly, Massachusetts. That connection I understood but what does DeepLocal have to do with bikes? Well, as this video showcases, DeepLocal worked with Parlee to develop a bike that would shift with your mind. For the past few months, I’ve been documenting this project on my blog exclusively for Toyota as a part of their ongoing Toyota Prius Projects series. The project is dubbed the PxP and it came together quite nicely.

Knowing that photos weren’t enough, I enrolled the help of my friend Stebs of Paper Fortress to document the last day at Parlee. Here’s his video and you can check out more photos and commentary at my blog, Prolly is Not Probably!

Madvillian - Madvilliany (2004)

Vs.

MF Doom – Operation: Doomsday (1999)

Oh no I didn’t!!!! *Fingersnapzzz* Doom vs. Doom. I guess this one may boil down to what generation of backpack rap you fall under. What if only one could exist between the two, which would it be? What’s more important… personal relevance, cultural significance, or simply being the better album all other things aside? Choice is yours…

Mortal Kombat is one of those video games that was, and I know this phrase is thrown around a lot, way ahead of its time. Really, it was. The 2D human-like avatars, shrunken, pixelated warriors, was groundbreaking upon its release in 1992 stirring up not only a race amongst little ones to memorize complex button sequences resulting in bone-crushing character combos and specialized fatalities but also a rallying of overprotective mothers in protest of the game’s excessive violence.

I remember, clear as day in fact, convincing my own mom to buy me MK3, Mortal Kombat 3, upon its release telling her that the “M” (Mature rating) symbol embossed on the package stood for Man, as in a game for men not women. Genius right? Before she could even examine the box for more clues, I had torn it in half, holding the Super Nintendo game cartridge in my lap for the remainder of the ride home from Toys R’ Us.

The point is, Mortal Kombat is sentimental to me and its come to my attention that “machinima”, or machine-cinema is a style of rendering and superimposing used to create  the Halo-based Red vs. Blue and other fan-media, is now at work here, turning the franchise into an episodic online series. MK’s characters made their debut outside of the virtual console with the 1995 motion picture of the same name and since then there’s been sequels, spin-offs, and cartoons galore, showing it’s skin as one of the most malleable titles in gaming history. I find it quite expectable that Machinima, the website that attaches its name to stuff like this, would try to turn the property into one of their meme-like mongoloid children.

I really don’t have a leg to stand on in opposition to the commidification of the game, its just that Mortal Kombat: Legacy is bad. Not a good bad like the cheesy morsels that hit the theaters in the ’90s but an effort in crossbreeding fast-paced, polished television like Prison Break or the hundreds of crime dramas on cable with the just-is, blood and guts simplicity that kept me revisiting the video game for years and years after it’s initial release. Kevin Tancharoen, the director of the 2010 short film Mortal Kombat: Rebirth, which, I must admit, was fairly believable in it’s conception, leading people to believe it was an official teaser trailer for an upcoming full-length remake.

This was not exactly the case, it was Tancharoen’s pitch to the studios, a vision of what the reborn planet of Mortal Kombat “should” look like. From Rebirth came Legacy, the YouTube show at hand, that intends to explore the history of each character and how they came to be the superhuman combatants we know and love. One choreographed tiff after the next, the director hides his inability to construct a linear narrative with a visually pleasing dog and pony show. Throughout, there are some interesting ideas about the formative experiences of the mercenaries but ultimately their backgrounds, motives, and on-screen portrayals don’t hold water, thin plot-lines falling flat.

Stop making shows and movies out of this license, it’s enough already. Mortal Kombat: Legacy and it’s future plans of a movie or running TV series have turned my gory days of button-mashing into NBC-worthy entertainment concerned with putting the butts in the seats or clawing their way to the top of the primetime ratings list.