Review: Jay-Z & Kanye West – Watch the Throne
Jay-Z & Kanye West - Watch the Throne (2011) [Def Jam] // Grade: C
Mad people are unemployed, the stock market is hemorrhaging money faster than a victim of a Shark Week attack and the United States collectively just had that embarrassing moment where you try to buy something and the cashier tells you “sorry, your cards been declined.” But, hey at least we have Kanye and Jay-Z’s Watch the Throne. A gilded album that was supposed to be an epic pairing of titanic players in the rap game that would offer us pure unbridled escapism in these dour times via their “luxury rap.” If this is The Great Depression 2.0, Watch the Throne was to be the jazz of the roaring 20s reborn.
In theory, as escapist entertainment this should’ve worked beautifully. Kanye has demonstrated his mastery of creating lushly beautiful soundtracks and Jay-Z damn near created self-defined larger than life personal mythology in rap. Watch the Throne was supposed to be a message from the mountaintop from two dudes who epitomize the American dream. Self made millionaires at the peak of their field; this album was to be a shout down to us mere mortals, letting us know how awesome it was at the top. Based on their collective previous output WTT should’ve been an experience so grandiose that it wasn’t even recordable. If Jay & Ye would’ve announced that the album would only be performed as an Opera with a 100 piece orchestra in 3D, it would’ve made sense. Instead of a 3D orchestral opera we got a tepidly dull celebration of the least interesting aspects of wealth with none of either artists trademark wit or personality.
“Gotta Have It” is a two minute long strokefest between Kanye and Jay-Z bitching about being famous and going over the Cliff Notes versions of their bios. “That’s My Bitch” has a beat (produced by Q-Tip, Ye and Jeff Bhasker) that would be a B-side on a Freeway album let alone a Ye/Jay collaboration while Kanye brags on his dick and Jay-Z makes a half hearted plea for racial diversity in standards of beauty. It’s a muddled and boring song that feels like something you’d think sounds good/relevant after a night of partying with models and drinking your own champagne. “Who Gon Stop Me” has the pair rapping over a dubstep beat (produced by Sham “Sak Pase” Joseph, Kanye West and Mike Dean) that somehow manages to have none of the aural drama the genre is built upon. Songs like these sadly make up the majority of the record.
There are points where WTT does collate into something worthy of the pair of legendary rappers. “Made In America” features Frank Ocean over a beat (produced by Sham “Sak Pase” Joseph and Mike Dean) that sounds like dudes were playing a ton of Genesis in the studio between mixing sessions. This is never a bad thing. Over the track Jay and Ye detail their rises to fame, while it’s not as affecting as the twelve minute outro to College Dropout that does the same thing, it has the same heart. You’re reminded of the improbable success of both men and the growth they’ve both demonstrated. They throw in “The Joy” from the G.O.O.D. Friday series of singles as a bonus track and seemingly only to remind us of the album we didn’t get. It’s a human, soulful fun song that makes you like Jay and Kanye more. This is antithetical to Watch The Throne. “New Day” has a RZA beat that forgoes his usual boom bap in favor of a sullen soundscape that sounds more like Kid A than Enter the 36 Chambers. Over the track, both dudes talk to their hypothetical children and apologize for the sins they’ve already put upon them. They talk very specifically about the ills of fame, but, the concept is something anyone with a bit of foresight can easily identify with as opposed to the LVMH affiliate listing that is the rest of this album.
In the short documentary leading up to the release of Watch the Throne, we see Kanye and Jay retire to a castle in Australia to finish up the album. They write verses as they overlook the ocean and record in cavernous rooms while Beyoncé sits idly by. This is an intriguing and inspiring display of wealth in the service of creation. With a limitless budget this is how all art would be produced. This is the image of luxury rap you want to see. But, at one point, Jay and Ye demo “Illest Motherfucker Alive” — an emotive but over the top operatic prog synth-borrowing track from WTT with lyrics that shout out Naomi Russell and Russell Crowe. The issue here is that they’re demoing it to Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe is not fucking cool. He’s not inspiring. Gladiator was hot, L.A Confidential was awesome, 3:10 to Yuma was cool. But, that’s a one hot movie every seven year average. The only reason you hang out with Russell Crowe is because he’s rich and famous. You hang out with Russell Crowe because he can sympathize with you on exorbitant yacht taxes. That moment, symbolizes the disconnect between palpable braggadocio and douchey flaunting that exists on this album. What inspirational momentum the two could’ve mustered with this album dissipated as soon as they started trying to impress fucking Russell Crowe. The album moves from rooting for two dudes who’ve transcended the pedestrian and became rich dudes talking about being rich with their rich friends. No one wants to hear that.
August 9th, 2011 at 9:10 am
For real? Russel Crowe is a rap fan, he asked to hear the album and they obliged. I thought I was pessimistic but this is new level.
August 9th, 2011 at 9:22 am
You’ve missed the point of the Russell Crowe sentiment my friend.
August 9th, 2011 at 11:15 am
[...] out my review of Jay-Z & Kanye West‘s Watch The Throne over on the Mishka Bloglin: “In theory, as escapist entertainment this should’ve worked beautifully. Kanye has [...]
August 9th, 2011 at 11:41 am
I don’t think I could ever respect, or even take the time of day for anything related to Kanye
August 9th, 2011 at 11:41 am
Gotta love Flux Pavillion getting no credits…
August 9th, 2011 at 12:28 pm
“Mad people are unemployed, the stock market is hemorrhaging money faster than a victim of a Shark Week attack and the United States collectively just had that embarrassing moment where you try to buy something and the cashier tells you “sorry, your cards been declined.” But, hey at least we have Kanye and Jay-Z’s Watch the Throne. A gilded album that was supposed to be an epic pairing of titanic players in the rap game that would offer us pure unbridled escapism in these dour times via their “luxury rap.” If this is The Great Depression 2.0, Watch the Throne was to be the jazz of the roaring 20s reborn.”
Great fuggin’ intro, love the review. Haven’t heard the album.
August 9th, 2011 at 1:41 pm
This was probably the most awful piece of garbage I’ve had the displeasure of sitting through in a long time. I actually had to turn to Eli Porter for more intelligent lyrics… at least he “deed it.” I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck this mess means…
”This is something like the Holocaust
Millions of our people lost
Bow our heads and pray to the lord
Til I die I’mma f***in ball
Now who gon stop me?
Who gon stop me huh?
Who gon stop me?
Who gon stop me huh? ”
This was probably the kindest grading I’ve seen on the Bloglin thus far.
August 9th, 2011 at 2:22 pm
that holocaust line makes no sense whatsoever. especially considering the rest of the song is about ballin’. Is kanye trying to make an allusion to slavery/the mid atlantic slave trade? if so, why? like balling as a response to the oppression of years of institutionalized racism sure, but you gotta flesh out your points some Ye… Fucking Baby made more succinct points on the same shit in like 2000. Man, fuck this album.
August 10th, 2011 at 2:45 am
Hmmm it seems you guys either haven’t listened to the album, or you did but you did so with your laptop speakers. Listen to it really loud and tell me it doesn’t go pretty hard.
August 10th, 2011 at 8:08 am
It most definitely doesn’t go anything remotely close to “hard.”
August 10th, 2011 at 10:22 am
This album is about as “hard” as a pedophile in a geriatric center.
August 10th, 2011 at 7:14 pm
I like the album, it’s pretty good. I feel like a B+ to an A- is a little more accurate in my opinion.
I think most people that dislike the album generally fall into two categories,
A. You already hate Kanye to much to even give the album a chance
B. Your expectations are to high
August 10th, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Both Ray and I dislike this album, and both of us thought My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was incredible. Go read that review.
And I’m sorry but “too high?” What should expectations be on a Kanye & Jay-Z album, luke warm?
August 10th, 2011 at 8:56 pm
I was not clear I meant to say most (not all) people that dislike the album fall into one of two categories but not both categories. I know you are not a hater crook,
But do I have to repeat myself? Yes too high….I think this paragraph says it all
“this album was to be a shout down to us mere mortals, letting us know how awesome it was at the top. Based on their collective previous output WTT should’ve been an experience so grandiose that it wasn’t even recordable. If Jay & Ye would’ve announced that the album would only be performed as an Opera with a 100 piece orchestra in 3D, it would’ve made sense. Instead of a 3D orchestral opera we got a tepidly dull celebration of the least interesting aspects of wealth with none of either artists trademark wit or personality.”
It’s not that I didn’t enjoy reading destroyers review I just disagree with it.
August 14th, 2011 at 9:02 pm
[...] A “WATCH THE THRONE” review that doesn’t just stroke the egos of Hov and Yeezy? I’m interested! (Mishka Bloglin) [...]
August 16th, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I totally agree with Destroyer’s review.
I didn’t even listen to the entire thing. Jay Z’s spinning in glitzed-out circles. We all know you’re loaded and fucking Beyonce. Stop telling us about how great it is. “Planking on a million?” Gah! Same shit for the last four albums.
Kanye, man, what the hell? Your lyrics here are jokes right? Way to introduce a record: “Coke on her black skin made a stripe like a zebra” you think? The look-how-big-our-dicks-are track “Who’s Gon Stop Me” (track 8; the furthest of the 16 I actually got) starts with you mentioning some undetermined event is like that of the fucking Holocaust before a line as fantastically weak as “Ix-nay off my dicks-nay” comes out. Nice juxtaposition dude. The Holocaust!?
An album that comes from the two biggest names in the game and “Throne” feels rushed, and wholly lackluster. Even the cover bugs me. Oh and a fucking “Apache” sample on (what’s actually one of the album’s better songs) “That’s My Bitch?” Really? You guys are supposed to be the SHIT, with the best crew behind you recording in CASTLES IN AUSTRALIA and you go ahead and crutch it with one of the most-sampled songs in hip hop history?? Lame.
BAMBAMBooRadley, expectations not so high for these two? This is the dude behind (the mammoth) “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy,” remember? The very point of Jay and ‘Ye’s entire career’s has been to keep expectations high. Work in a wardrobe by Rodarte and Louis V and this being “performed as an Opera with a 100-piece orchestra in 3-D” would have made more sense.
Hating is easy with this slab, it’s creatively tame, flat and summed up the way Destroyer puts it here: “[A] disconnect between palpable braggadocio and douchey flaunting.”