ABC is preparing a show based around the saturation of nineties nostalgia in today’s pop culture. My first thought was that this is the best thing ever. My second thought, however, was that it might be the worst.

Helmed by former Seinfeld writer, Jennifer Crittenden, and Scrubs‘ Gabrielle Allan, the sitcom will focus on a fictional 90s alt-rock girl band attempting to reunite after a two-decade hiatus and get gigs, all the while trailed by a documentarian in the same vein as This Is Spinal Tap. Okay, that could be alright. But then: The show will play witness to the “four Gwen Stefanis,” as Crittenden puts it, “wearing Sketchers and mom jeans and they’re trying to pursue this dream.” It was that last bit that really got me.

Got me uninterested, I mean.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m straight up enamored with nineties culture: Nineties Hip Hop, Rock, R&B, 90s fashion, movies — it’s all great! This, unfortunately, is both the least interesting place to take a show about nineties alt-rock culture, and the worst way to go about doing it. From the description, it sounds like the commercial for the show should start with, “From the creators of Two And A Half Men…” At least give me a show set in the nineties, or without the whole Sketchers part. That aspect, just that one piece of descriptor, bums the hell out of me.

Crittenden went on to say, “We’re excited about what happens to a real dream when you have to walk away.” Okay, that sounds like it could be an interesting place to take the show. That’s something that could have some value, or at least do the theme of post-nineties rockers some justice. The whole thing about Sketchers though, just suggests that this is going to be another corny ABC sitcom. There will for sure be at least a couple of little kids present, some oblivious husbands (and one who is a real great guy and encourages his wife a lot), and a guitar-heavy soundtrack a la Friends.

This pretty much sounds like Modern Family with nineties references, and that pretty much sounds awful. Way to go, ABC.

- Elbows