I think the Emmys happened recently, I’m not sure though. They must have, I imagine, just because of the nature of this video. In any case, because we do Breaking Bad Re-Ups, and because we are now doing Re-Ups of The Office, assuming that the show doesn’t degrade into a complete waste of time, this video is rather poignant. It’s a skit from this year’s Emmys set in the world of The Office, but featuring other television characters, including Breaking Bad’s Jesse. It’s pretty funny. Check it out.

Jacuzzi Boys are one of my favorite garage rippers. They just dropped their latest album, Glazin’ on Hardly Art which we highly recommend you give a spin or download these days. *wink* *wink*

Enjoy this bizarre POV video by John McSwain for “Automatic Jail,” the first single off of  Glazin’.

Just when you thought we would let you have a lazy Sunday we hit you with a big dose of Drum & Bass courtesy of our hometown mischievous duo Hellfire Machina. Bass Fueled Mischief teams up once again with AEG and The Highline Ballroom to bring you Metropolis: an all ages 160bpm bro out with support from OGs Dara, Empress and the Burner Bros.

You may have heard of a little song named after famed actress Barbra Streisand: i don’t personally know if she liked the homage but what i do know is that A-Trak and Armand Van Helden created a modern dance classic that appeals to the masses and has been used in almost every venue. Sigma is most known, this side of town, for poignant DnB remixes with really fat kicks and infectious synth lines and what better to give his bass stamp of approval than this gem below.

During the second wave of DnB, the duo started off strong releasing a pivotal track on DJ Zinc’s Bingo Beats called “All Blue” and continued their onslaught with such remixes as “Rescue Me” feat. Ms Dynamite and Skepta and of course the behemoth collaboration remix with Adam F, “Shut the Lights Off“  feat. Redman.

With support from  pillars of DnB like Goldie, Andy C, Friction and Fresh, the duo recently launch their own label called Life Recordings featuring a monthly Podcast jam packed of jump up hands in the air anthems that will have you goin like an Energizer bunny!

Starting their solo careers during the first wave of DnB in the 90s, Loadstar take inspiration from most of the UK’s finest of that era such as Roni Size, The Prodigy, Andy C and The Chemical Brothers. In 2007 they  solidify their partnership and their names in the DnB archives. Remixing the likes of Wolfgang Gartner, Example, Chase & status and Jessie J to name a few, the duo have been really busy these past two years  invading the airwaves with Space Between, a radio friendly indie vocal driven churner that solidifies their position in Ram recordings along side big names such as Sub Focus and Chase & Status.

Sunday September 25th, 9pm-4am
The Highline Ballroom
431 W 16th St (btw 9th and 10th Ave.)
New York City
$15 Presale | $20 Door

I needed a new comedy to Re-Up for you, faithful Reader, now that both Curb and Louie have wrapped, and what better show to choose than one that is kicking off its eighth season with the loss of its lead actor and star, and, essentially starting fresh; namely, The Office.

“The List” begins with an opening bit on the summertime viral phenomenon, planking. At first the joke seems outdated, which it certainly is, but once they get passed explaining what planking is, the cast starts knocking people off of their high planked perches, which turns out to be a funny new spin on the tired activity. And, really, this would be a logical time for a paper company in Pennsylvania to learn about planking.

This season marks, not only the departure of series star Steve Carell, but also the beginning of Ed Helm’s tenure as office manager and James Spader’s addition as Dunder Mifflin CEO Robert California. Additionally, Pam is once again pregnant, along with Angela, and Stanley’s character is being changed into a more slapstick version of his formerly reserved self. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Since the announcement came last year that Carell would be leaving The Office, it has been a complete guessing game as to, not only who would replace him, but how the show would continue. And “The List” is certainly not the answer to the latter question. It’s an all right episode, about on par with much of last season, though with so many changes it is essentially a new show, and one that needs time to properly age and develop. And while the show has gotten stale over the last couple of years, perhaps this reboot is just with the show needs.

Active Child – You Are All I See (2011) [Vagrant] // Grade: C+

Active Child weave a rich tapestry on their new album, You Are All I See.  Musically, it is a rich, focusing on string laden soundscapes and post-IDM beats.  It really is very pretty. Utilizing the pop sensibilities of modern Shoegaze, and the retro psychedelia of Chillwave, sole member Pat Grossi attempts to create a sound that is unique. Unfortunately, the album is marred by over dramatic vocals that mire the projects in concept and pretense, making it sound a lot closer to Cutting Crew, than cutting edge.

Grossi’s talent is undeniable.  He is both an amazing harpist and a trained vocalist.  He has a knack for weaving musical textures that sound really nice. So why does this album fail so horribly? It appears the answer lies in the fact that too much  is being attempted at one time. Active Child’s recipe of choral vocals over new age trip hop may work for an EP, but it spells disaster for a full length. The album simply gathers its own gravity as it progresses and mires the listener down after every consecutive song. Taken apart, each song on its own may be wonderful, but as a composite piece is is both boring and a little hard to digest.

Perhaps it’s a harsh judgement, because it seems very genuine. It is a lot like Prog Rock was in the 1970’s. There are times where one finds themselves thinking the album might be really good. In the long run, though it suffers from tedium. After the first three songs, the rest of the album seems fairly unnecessary, which is never a good thing.

Man, I have to write myself a new edition of Press Start. Harumph! I haven’t written one in a few weeks. Out of a lack of a time, out of a lack of interest. Combine those two and you can almost hear Hegel groan under the power of his dialectic! Shazam! Synthesize. Out of the opposite of those two comes! New column! Press Start! Five things that caught my eye in gaming this week.

The joke! Of course! I’ve been too busy to really come across anything. I mean fuck man, I have an unopened copy of Gears of War 3 sitting in my car. I haven’t even brought that shit in yet. Since Tuesday. I am not elite. I am not select. Definitely not worthy of considering spelling my name using numbers and the what-not.

So let’s go exploring the internet together!

—-

#1) Diablo 3 Beta Invites Went Out
Listen here pig-pleasurers of the world. There is one thing that happened in the game world that I am aware of this week. I know of it, for my lack of invitation to participate in it has scarred my ass cheeks a mighty flaming red. A deep red that is befitting of the Dark Lord. Diablo. For all the fields tilled on the internets, for all my groans of labor, and groans in general. Blizzard rewards me not.

There are people playing the Diablo 3 beta right now. The invites went out this week. The pictures are there. Taunting me. The video available. Giving me the finger that is in the middle. Oh, you’re in the beta? Know that my jealousy of you burns with the white-hot heat of a thousand burning asshole Fajita craps.

Curse you.

—-

#2) Wii On An Android Tablet With 360 Controller
Ah! I actually do remember seeing this earlier in the week. I wasn’t really impressed by it. That’s how spoiled we are within the geeky subcultures of modernity. Such wizardry of coding and finesse and idea-hood no longer inspire anything other than an “Oh yeah!” I mean, Jesus Christ. Look at this.

It’s a Wii running on an Android Tablet, using 360 controller.

I feel like there should be props handed out. High-fives exchanged. Instead I’m just like “Yet another person mercilessly superior to me in ingenuity and intellect has come up with something great”. For it truly is neat. But it is a hack within a wave of hacks. A tweak in a sea of tweaks.

An orgy of conflicting hardware allegiances that involves neither moans nor lube.

—-

#3) EA CEO Wants To Eat The Soul of Zynga
In some metaphysical sphere, where corporations have corporeal forms, you can only imagine EA. A vast blinding blackness, constantly engulfing the (meta)physical surroundings around it. Engaged in an endless desire to consume, to dominate. Its tendrils flicker, impaling its enemies. Yearning to conquer. Its only thought is “Consume” and its only emotion is hatred for those who dare consume as much as it.

That explains why the EA CEO John Riccitiello is taking aim at Zynga. Zynga is known for making all those annoying games on Facebook that it seems like everyone makes fun of but in reality apparently everyone but me is fucking playing. Oh yeah man. Farmville! Till the fucking land! Speaking at a speaking at a US Chamber of Commerce where undoubtedly he began by buying off two or three Capitol Hill Senata-whores and making them blow one another in a bathroom stall for campaign funds, Riccitiello then stated that the next thing his Vast Black Infernal Machine will engulf will be social gaming.

The Sims Social! He proclaimed. It has 53 million users. In three years! He proclaimed. They’ll have 3 billion in revenue. And yet! Reality interjected. Even with EA’s 100 million users, they’re still less than half of Zynga’s might.

The Endless Black Gulf groans, jealous and yearning to conquer.

(more…)

At the Q&A following the world premiere of Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) last night at Fantastic Fest, director Tom Six promised that the third installment would be “really sick.” How he could possibly up the vulgarity from Full Sequence is beyond me. The movie is a 90 minute anti-human sonic assault that almost caused me to throw up more than once. I can handle gore — I’m not a fan of it but I can stomach a lot — but never have I sat through such a relentless onslaught of realistic mutilations. After one particularly graphic scene, I couldn’t look at the screen for a good 5 minutes. I just stared at the empty beer bottle in front of me and took deep breaths. While the first Centipede was understated by most modern horror standards, Full Sequence is a shit-eating shock fest that has raised the bar for torture porn.

What thread of a narrative there is concerns Martin (newcomer Laurence R. Harvey), a mentally handicapped security guard whose fragile mind has been warped by Human Centipede: First Sequence. He has a Centipede scrapbook, jerks off while watching it on repeat, and licks his little sausage fingers during the fecal scenes. His dead dad molested him and his cliched, crotchety old mother wants to kill him. The only sensible escape for Martin is to create his own human centipede. He thinks bigger than Dr. Heiter though, and guns for a centipede 12 people long and strong — made up of unfortunate people who traversed through the parking garage where Martin guards.

It’s a neat premise and Tom Six has fun playing with the meta aspects, but in the end Full Sequence is a terrible movie. It’s completely empty. What little emotion we could possibly feel for the crippled psyche of Martin is lost after watching one scene of brutality after another. And honestly, after watching a woman be raped by a dick wrapped in barb-wire, watching subsequent acts of violence didn’t affect me. You just shrug your shoulders and say, “Why not?” Someone has all of their teeth removed by a hammer, “Why not?” Kill a baby, “Why not?” Sever the knee tendons, “Why not?”People who hated on the first Centipede for not being graphic enough — this is the movie you asked for. I hope you’re happy.

Technically it felt like a step backwards for Six. The choice to shoot it in monochrome gives it a dirty, sweating look, but seemed a bit contrary to Six upping the ante on graphic violence. Instead of pools of red blood, splatters of doo-doo brown hit the screen during the film’s climax — all while Martin makes fart noises and waves his arms like a conductor. Are we supposed to be disturbed by this or having a laugh? It just feels like hack filmmaking to me. There’s no doubt Tom Six is a showman and knows how to shock, but after so much, nothing’s really shocking.

The film was shot entirely in London, which is hilarious since it’s been banned in the UK as a Video Nasty. The film has been picked up by IFC Midnight in the States, meaning it’ll get a VOD release at some point.

On Wednesday Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire’s dropped the video for his epic posse cut “The Last Huzzah!” which has gone over like gang-busters! And why shouldn’t it? Have you heard the track? It’s incredible and features a who’s who of anyone bringing something fresh and exciting to Hip Hop these days… oh and Killer Mike lurking in the background with a machine gun as well.

We got some behind the scenes clip from the video shoot shot for you to enjoy and I’ll even explain why Heems was pictured on a TV in the video. Heems couldn’t be at the shoot and had to be filmed later… the director, Vic Reznik cleverly superimposed his footage (shot later at our office) into the TV screen during editing. I think it gives the video some nice flavor.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – Hysterical (2011) [V2] // Grade: C+

When I departed for college way back in the mid-2000′s, I pretty much hated everything. If a band or film had more than a handful of fans, or was perhaps favorably reviewed by Pitchfork (then Pitchfork Media), I was probably going to hate it. Although I didn’t know it at the time, many of my budding interests were developing from a purely ironic place. For instance, if a classmate asked me if I was into the latest Arcade Fire album, I would likely reply “No”, and then claim to have only listened to The Carpenters on a constant loop for the past month. Basically, I was a bratty little contrarian, and only palled around with the like… See the David Cross character featured in Mr. Show’s Last Donut sketch for some point of reference.

Anyway, as you might imagine, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah’s highly touted debut record provided a giant target for my snobby critical jabs. The self titled album could be heard blaring from any number of dorm rooms at most points throughout the day, and this drove me up the wall. I probably referred to the LP as derivative or amateurish in more than one conversation, and most certainly hated their ultra-moronic band name. Looking back, I would have wanted to death-punch myself in the heart too.

Since those university days, I’ve gracefully transitioned into my early 20′s, and have generally cooled my jets in most respects. In fact, I arbitrarily hate far less things, and actually may pay heed to someone else’s musical suggestion. Due to this shift in disposition, I’m now capable of kicking back and listening to the latest Clap Your Hands release, entitled Hysterical, from a mostly objective standpoint. In fact, that is just what I did this past week.

Unfortunately, my refined temperament hasn’t helped me warm to the CYHSY gang much. While I wouldn’t go out of my way to steamroll these chumps anymore, I probably wouldn’t recommend Hysterical to most folks either. With their third release, that signature Clap Your Hands sound has actually matured in many ways, but not enough to really swing my vote, or rattle my previous conception of the group. The vox have become considerably less warbly here, and the tempo of most tunes have been dialed back a bit, but I’m not sure if this turn really suits the formerly spazzy group.

If you’re truly interested in taking a listen to Hysterical, I would direct your attention to the LP’s 4th track “Maniac”. I know what you’re thinking, and no, this isn’t a cover of Michael Sembello’s 1983 smash hit of the same name. What the CYHSY song actually embodies, however, is a jovial mid-tempo indie-rock boot-stomper, that never really lives up to its wild title, but boasts a winning melody and some pretty guitar strums. Before the song arrives at its fuzzy axe solo, you’ll likely be bobbing your head along to the beat. When the final note rings out though, you’ll probably have already forgotten what you just listened to.

In the end, this particular sentiment proves to hold true for the record at large. Hysterical is certainly a pleasant listen for the most part, but is ultimately utterly forgettable.