Things that may or may not be in Squadda B‘s room: a Build-A-Bear, Paul Blart, sad people offering you free samples of ointments and salves, Buckwheat Groats, CD’s with black cellophane over the inappropriate album covers, a woman who knows how to fund you the perfect bra with ample support for maximum comfort and style so as to avoid back problems in the future, a Sbarro, Feebzz, a fountain, the ghost of Pimp C (strapped up, natch), Blizzed Out, your adolescent self with a glint of wonder in your eye.

before anything else, a review of boyparty reviews installment three: very sappy patriotic guy. it is weird but i like it that all of the men he likes are big with muscles and oil.

when i was a very small child i had a very active imagination, and now even though i am a much bigger boy my mind and soul are still wild and boundless and i do not even know what i want to be when i grow up and get even older. because of all of that and also that life is a highway, this installment’s theme is:

aspirations and heroes and dreaming

having a job that you have to go to five days of every week: so weird and incredible that every human is supposed to do it besides royalty and the homeless because it is so bad.
new idea for utopian garden place with no work except for picking fruits and kissing: there are some tweaks to work out but yes, very excellent, start drawing up the paperwork immediately.
today’s hangover: a parasite. there is a reptile coiled around my stomach that tightens its hold whenever i move and the nerve endings inside my brain are in the devil’s frying pan.
the robin’s egg blue stretch range rover limousine with spinners i dreamed up last night: pinnacle of fantasy, magical realism.
the stretch pink mini cruiser limo I actually did see three years ago: !
mid-90’s mitsubishi that looked black from far away but turned out to be dark purple: i don’t get it. fools me every time.

the hypothetical future tattoo that reads “i love you probably” in third grade cursive across the front of my neck: an excellent look, waiting to make my first billion before pulling the trigger.
the hypothetical future tattoo of sarah michelle gellar’s kiss on my left pectoral muscle: would be the pinnacle of the medium of body modification, waiting for her to finally ditch that doofus jr. before i ask.
the guitar i asked for and got for christmas in the sixth grade that i never learned to play and still stands in a corner of my childhood bedroom: a symbol of something inside me that is maybe bad and selfish and impotent.
the band that i never started with junior high friends called hellbringers: a missed opportunity. i do not think we would have had any stadium tours or major triple platinum records but my soul would have really flourished in that sort of creative environment. then again, it is never too late!

how for most of childhood i wanted to be a downhill ski racer: very sincere, has something to do with embracing nature by competing with it. i am not much of an athlete.
my elementary school friend’s older brother’s band pelvic thrust: better when i was eleven.
riff raff: no words for this or punctuation either
tim dax the tattooed devil: a beautiful monster among small and worthless men.

the riff raff ft. adam west in batman costume music video i dreamed last night: next level. sincere and powerful. contact Jmaxalbert@gmail.com
my heroic actions in a chinese restaurant shootout in a different dream also from last night: lightning quick, instinctual. deserving of some sort of medal or key to the dream city.
the dream i had of my junior year literature teacher naked and her nipples were perfect: very excellent dream. was looking forward to sequel but it never came.
the dream in a movie they made us watch in class in fifth grade where a kid who was a little bit older than us made his sheets sticky afterwards: dull and unimaginative. censored by the man probably.

oklahoma city: half empty heat tornado ghost town with young and talented professional sports franchise.
the mountain goats song this year: very inspirational. it is not about me it is about the guy singing it but it also is about me so i am yelling along forever inside.
the leo lionni book frederick where all of the other mice are preparing real hard for the winter by collecting food and building a place to live and frederick the mouse doesn’t help at all and looks like he’s just being lazy but then when it’s actually winter and all the other mice are cold and unhappy it turns out that frederick is a poet and he tells them poems that warm their brains and fill their souls not their bellies: very nice picture book with good collages. but he maybe should have helped still with the gathering of the food because it is bad to starve, worse even than no poems probably.

the resurgence of the trend icing: fun, very good omen for future generations.

list of the top 5 dream jobs
one. cowboy
two. space cowboy explorer
three. louis l’amour
four. personal assistant/husband to high powered business lady
five.
hit the jump for the review of my list!

(more…)

Eyeballs roasting on an open fire. Death Adder nipping at your nose. Rap songs being sung by a sentient triangle, and folks dressed up like Cyco Simon. Everybody knows: it’s almost time for Мишка’s Holiday Collection. Yes friends, the Holiday Collection is just around the corner, and it’s a doozy. Everything you could want, from sweatshirts and jackets (including those of the puffy variety), scarves, beanies, shirts, and more. As always it’s coming with a Lookbook, and also as always we’ve put together a little teaser video to give you a taste.

While we were off shooting in other cities for recent Lookbooks, the music scene in NYC has more or less exploded, so it made perfect sense to return to our home zone for Holiday 2012. This thing is jam-packed with great new artists, so much so we’re getting giddy just thinking about it. We’ve got Aaron Cohen, Cream Dream, Pictureplane, Tanboys, Kitty Pryde, Hot Sugar, The Death Set, Roxy Cottontail, Le1f, Dre Skull, Slava, Cities Aviv, Dark Sister, Baauer, Mykki Blanco, AG Da Coroner, Meyhem Lauren, Starkey, and World’s Fair, all shot by our friend Brook Bobbins. This video was shot and edited by Wilfredo Suarez, and features music from Aaron Cohen (“So What”) and World’s Fair’s Prince Samo (“Gogirra”).

Just to let everyone know we are doing OK. The warehouse, office and Brooklyn store had zero damage. A few of us are back in the office today, but most of the staff are stuck in the city or in places where its not easy to get to the office. Also a lot of the streets are still unsafe for travel, and they are asking people to stay indoors if they can’t get to places safe.

With that said, we are working hard to make sure any and all online orders go out right away. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to email us but remember we are not only affected, but UPS, USPS are also affected as well. So it’s possible there will be at least a little delay in shipping out orders. In the meantime, if you want you can still order online and we are offering 30% off most of the site with code “sandy” until the end of the day. Hope everyone is okay! Thanks!

Meek Mill - Dreams and Nightmares (2012) [MMG] // Grade: D

Why is Meek Mill yelling at me? For one hour, on his debut album, Dreams and Nightmares, the MMG affiliate does nothing but shout about his past. Is this how he talks as well? He rolls with Ross, why doesn’t he talk about similar luxuries? No yacht rap to be seen on this flop. Is he like the Pusha T to Kanye? Then where are the clever lines?

And what do we know about Meek Mill? We know that the Philly native has dealt with drugs, guns, and a little prison time in the past, but what do we know about him now? What does he have to say? Does the listener know any things that he enjoys doing? When he first starting going off on Rick Ross tracks, he came across as new, fresh, and clever, a solid contrast to the smoothed-out King Ross. But now, a few years later, he has nothing to show for it. The self-titled, introductory track has the most lyrical content on the entire album. It’s no doubt that Meek Mill can rap, but even at his finest on the album, he talks about nothing but his past. I’m not sure if Meek knows who he is. A few singles with the Bawse and a really enjoyable back-and-forth track with a shining Big Sean (a bonus track on this album) doesn’t make the greatest portfolio.

This album runs like a typical big label debut hip-hop album. Numerous big names to attract the unfamiliar listener (see: Rick Ross on three tracks), the radio friendly track with Drake (see also: Kendrick’s debut, 2 Chainz’s debut). Throw John Legend on a chorus, have a Nas feature that is a throwaway, and you have Meek Mill’s album. Thanks, Warner! We can also thank Warner for allowing Wale to open Curren$y’s otherwise enjoyable debut album, The Stoned Immaculate. 

The Maybach Music Group has a respectable lineup, but nothing really overwhelming to show yet. This is unfortunate, because Rick Ross is the man. Wale has done nothing to blow me away. French Montana is huge right now, but where’s his album? Even the Self Made 1 & 2 were mediocre and uneven. It is pretty obvious that they have label problems. With Ross, look at the masterpiece mixtape Rich Forever and the major label slightly above average God Forgives, I Don’t. Now look at Meek Mill’s pretty enjoyable Dreamchasers 2 (with an amazing Kendrick verse, as well as introducing the Drake song “Amen” and the Big Sean song “Burn”) and the major label disaster Dreams and Nightmares.

Every song wants so badly to be a hit single. To sound like everyone else. The production is expected, the lines are dull. This album does nothing to move the hip-hop world forward. Meek even gives auto-tune a shot. Really? The only strong part of this album (despite the big time features) is the track “Tony Story, Part 2”, mainly because it sounds different the rest of the album. It has a distant Meek Mill and a thunderstorm of a Boi-1da beat. But at this point in the album, about 2/3 through, the dream is already lost. In this wonderful hip-hop era of progression and artistic creativity, forward movement and freedom is what it’s all about, and that’s damn near non-existent here.

Raider Klvn mainstays Eddy Baker and Ethelwulf bring you their latest song and video, “We$t Side Dirty $outh Klash 1994″ produced by Sky Lexington and brought to you by The Teenage Girls. Real gritty 90s feel that stays true to the title’s year shout out.

This is for those who live in a perpetual state ov pitch black murk and seek out new creatures through feel alone. A rapidly accelerating endless descent down thee spine ov a bleeding edge mountainside, ahead ov any curve and with no breaks. Theway Peoplestare, Mike Textbeak and Blam Blam Fever have gathered in a musical triumvirate to deliver a mix for Мишка just in time for Halloween and suitable for those who live for dark urban vibes at all times.

Within this Grim Harvest also lies a deathly exclusive half hour minimix from the hand of Omar Doom. Plus sacrificials of wickedness by Ritualz, Crossover, Mater Suspiria Vision, White Ring, Light Asylum, Burial Hex, Zola Jesus, Blvck Ceiling, Waka Flocka Flame, City Of Hungry Ghosts, Spz Chaote, Noah 23, Khalil Nova, Crown Hutch, Signs, Neuport, The Ceremonial Dagger, Glass Teeth, The Pharcyde… and many more. Check out the great cover art by ϟ†Nϟ.

For the full tracklist head here!

Brought out my inner vamp and rocked the Morticia Addam’s look this pre-Halloween weekend. Stopped by the clinic and picked up an eighth of Sweet Tooth because I thought it’d be most appropriate to smoke on a night like this. Rolled up three blunts, got a pint of whiskey, and headed over to Oakland for a night of festivities with some goons, goblins, and kitty cats. (Seriously though, why so many cat costumes?)

First stop was at house party in North Oakland that was jammed packed. I always love Halloween house parties because you can be smoking a blunt with an astronaut, a murder victim, and Spiderman and think nothing of it. Or when having an opened neck wound around the keg and wearing lipstick with a full on moustache and beard is acceptable.

After dancing to some classic 80’s jams with homies from school I decided to head over to Sick Sad Halloween to check out the crazy DJ line up they had. Walked in right when Depressed Teenager was laying down the most eargasmic dance music I’ve heard in awhile. Ran into the Antwon who was chillin with Los Angeles homie Andres from ShadowRunners ~*LA represent*~

After catching up with familiar faces I made my way to the dance floor. Again, this is where costumes are the greatest! Princess peachez getting down with President Obama, oh snap. Regardless of who was getting down, the music was on point! Once I made my way to the front of the dance floor, long and behold lil Chippy Nonstop dancing her ass off. I love seeing this girl and hearing her stories about how she is holding it down for the ladiez.

Ended up back at the house party that consisted of throwing back shots of gin and dancing to some hiphop jams. The night ended with heading outside to spark that last blunt when all of a sudden a huge fire that was built by a bunch of random savages broke out. Nothing like ending your night on such a heated note.

What’s Slumerica? Is that the East Coast after Sandy gets done with it? Bobby, gimme a hi-hat will ya! *plays a very long invisible trombone* *adjusts mic stand*. Jeez is it hot in here or what. Are we already done with hurricane jokes? Anyway, congratulations to our good friend, the very talented ShowYouSuck, who, after performing at one stop, was just added to Yelawolf’s whole Slumerican Tour. That shit’s about to get #treated!

Auggie The 9th and Manny Muscles were there too. This is all great press in advance of Show’s impending tape One Man Pizza Party 3: Rest In Pizza. That shit’s gonna blow the cheeze out the crust! Catch Show and Co. at any of the remaining Slumerican dates.

From what I see out my window, it looks like you could find a whole lot of fear and loathing out in this city right now without any mescaline or benzedrines, but when he shot the video for his track “Fear And Loathing In New York City” Anthony Cruz found his fair share without any help from that bad bitch sandy.

Watch as the NY rapper (doy) and Mishka employee Al Cruz (no relation) galavant around Gotham with bug-eyed tatted up glee. If only that Keep Watch Bucket Hat had been around for HST to rock.