Tis the season for holiday specials, and Mordechai Rubinstein aka Mister Mort has just what you need: a good reason to turn to Judaism and another opportunity turn self-hate into a fashion statement (for the goyim, that is). He teamed up with marketplace upstarts The Cools to release some custom-made traditional yet unorthodox head-coverings that will make the most atheist dandy reconsider at least his accessorizing this Hannukah season.

If not his whole faith. Did you know? “Kippah” means “dome” in Hebrew. So wearing this snazzy round piece of wool you are literally guaranteed to get dome. Even better! If you’re a gay goy you can openly observe your partner’s cute kippah WHILE he gives you dome. And when he’s done, yank his yarmukle and get to business. Now, does it qualify as a kosher gift for Hannukah? They’ll set you back $120; some might argue it’s a lot of Gelt but there’s no time to quarrel, you will need to have these babies rushed to your house if you want to have one in time for Zos Hannukkah. They’ll be the Mazel of your week.

- Gnou