I was scared I gave it up too quick our first time, but you’re back! In this week’s installment of Slut By Association, let me, Regina B, sit you down and explain what happens when a man and a woman get caught up in a love haze, and end up fighting over who’s owed what when the clouds part. Let’s emotionally regress, together.
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Shawty Lo and “All His Babies Mamas” are causing a controversy before they even hit the screen. When you’ve got 11 babies and 10 ladies (and a girlfriend the age of his oldest babies), you’re bound to get some drama. With T.I. living down the block, I wonder if their film-crews ever clash? Petitions and boycotts aside, this is pure comedy. Watching the Babies Mamas and the new chick clash over who gets to pay the bills and who’s in charge (aka gets to clip Lo’s toe nails) should definitely at least be a WSHH web-series. This apparently, is how you “really run Atlanta“.

Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Garnett almost came to blows post-game, after Garnett announced that Melo’s wife La La tasted like Honey-Nut Cheerio’s. So why’s he so mad? That don’t even make sense. While La La’s reality show had some of us fooled into thinking that her and Melo were going hard in the paint working on some new babies, it seems the duo has been secretly separated for a few months. Did Garnett smash? No one knows, but for now Melo got suspended for a game and La La is giving us all an over-the shoulder wink and a smile. Sounds like a complete breakfast cause that shit is bananas.

Rumors of Beyonce faking her pregnancy might finally be put to rest, now that she’s revealed video footage of her bare-bump in a trailer for upcoming HBO documentary, Life is But a Dream.  On top of that, the MILF was named GQ’s Miss Millenium, and gave an in-depth interview where she revealed that she has documented nearly every moment of her life since 2005, obsessively watches her own performances, and has realized that “I’m more powerful than my mind can even digest and understand.” That’s some super-villain shit, but we’ll let it go…Maybe that stockpile of selfies will reveal the moment the Illuminati ate Blue Ivy’s placenta with sea-urchin, in a decadent miso reduction.

OPULENCE!

I’m sure they served something similar at BIC’s $200G first birthday party. Fuck a super sweet-sixteen. She probably even got an exclusive sneak-peek of Destiny’s Child reuniting. Hint: it sounds like a cash-grab.

Megan Fox (joined and) quit twitter this week, stating on her FB page that she simply wasn’t “that girl”. Luckily, Candice Swanepoel totally is THAT girl, and understands what the public wants and expects from her. And, look! No one even had to get hacked!

Here’s a cautionary tale for all you ladies putting in that work on balconies and lofted beds: 22 year-old Lauren Block, fell 15-feet attempting a trick during a lapdance at a Cleveland strip club, never to be revived. May St.Peter make it rain on you at the gates.

Charlie Sheen, if you’re reading this, please let your next act of charity be donating safety netting for clubs across the country. Consider it an investment, since a life you save may one day be contractually obligated to kiss you in public. Goddess bless you, for your efforts!

Karrine Steffans, AKA Superhead, has continued on her campaign to sell her new book, err… talk about Lil Wayne, by getting a subliminal tattoo, and releasing a video discussing a possible pregnancy. Since it’s an excerpt from her book I guess the next video will be about how she opted out of birthing more soldiers for Wayne’s baby-army. I see you, Karrine. And if you didn’t do all those vlogs in your pannies I probably would’ve stopped paying attention. That’s what you call “media savvy”.

Jodie Foster publicly came out at the Golden Globes, the new season of Girls premiered (spoiler alert: you see Lena Dunham’s tits within the first 4 minutes), Lindsay Lohan’s life is such a train-wreck, even the New York Times thought it was worthy of an expose, and Mary J. Blige talks about the bad touch leading to years of inhaling the bad stuff, but how about we all cleanse our palates with this video of Ryan Gosling talking about Girl Scout cookies. I’ll take some Samoa’s, thanks!

Who am I kidding? I’ll eat whatever biscuit he puts in my mouth.

Until next time, remember: just cause they’re rich, don’t mean they’re not rachet.

- Regina B