Welcome back to Slut By Association, a safe place for us to roll our eyes at the world. Let me, Regina B, catch you up on a few things you might’ve missed this week in the land of celebrity missteps.

Despite tearfully pleading with the judge about his good behavior and lack of new cases against him (congrats?), Chief Keef was sentenced to 60 days in juvenile detention (no, not actual prison) for violating the terms of his probation in June by filming an interview at a gun range. I guess this just goes to show: Pitchfork isn’t always right. According to TMZ, he’s also being sued for child support by a middle-school girl who claims she had his baby back in 2011. That would make him 15 at the time and her…well, we’re not sure, but unless her parents file complaint he won’t be serving time just signing checks. Add that to the list of shit he don’t like.

Django Unchained has had detractors hissing something awful, most notably Spike Lee. No stranger to heckling Tarrantino and his language usage, he’s gone on record saying he is offended by the film in theory alone, and refuses to see it. This week had Django himself, Jamie Foxx, calling Spike “shady” for being so vocal without ever even seeing the film, and even went so far as to say that the director had “run his course”.

Fighting words? That sounds like pillow-talk compared to what Uncle Luke had to say, when he called Spike “Hollywood’s resident house negro” who is just mad that “Samuel L. Jackson’s character in the movie is just like him: a conniving and scheming Uncle Tom.” Whether Luke was just playing instigator or really feeling some kind of way about the director, maybe everyone needs to take a breather. C’mon kids, you can all put your earrings back on.

With Kat Williams saying he plans on feeding Quentin Tarrantino a fist, to action figures causing an uproar (and getting discontinued after only 1000 were made), looks like no amount of salt thrown is stopping Tarrantino from eating real good off his earnings from his highest-grossing film and celebrating his Golden Globe win (and 5 Oscar nods) with his new lady, Lianne Spiderbaby.

For those of you excited to see how Shawty Lo run’s his house of many Mamas, you’re just gonna have to stick to writing fan-fiction…for now. Buckling under the pressures of petitions and disapproving parent-groups, the Oxygen network has decided to cancel the show before it ever hit the air. Much like his virility, Shawty won’t be shut down, and is “actively” shopping the show around to other networks. After all, you don’t want the whole brood on welfare, do you? And if you fell for stories earlier this week about Lo getting locked up for failure to pay child support, you got got: it was all part of a video shoot.

Lupe Fiasco lived up to his name when he got removed by security during a show on Sunday night, celebrating Obama’s inauguration. Apparently Lupe didn’t get the memo, since his set took an indulgent turn at dissent with a 30-minute rendition of “Words I Never Said”. Good on Lupe for speaking his mind and taking promoters by surprise, but really, shouldn’t someone have given his catalog a quick spot-check if they were trying to go the patriotic route? Was Immortal Technique busy that night?

Here’s an inspirational tale for all of us in the struggle: Monsignor Kevin Wallin, former pastor at St. Augustine’s Cathedral in Bridgeport, CT was busted in the center of a nationwide meth-ring. Previously, he was released from his duties at the church when it was discovered that he was cross-dressing and having sex in the rectory, the Monsignor knew that Jesus had a plan for him, and he took that meth-money and love of tight booths and bought The Land of Oz sex shop. Hallelujah! Thank the lord for these gifts of delusion, debauchery and deviance that he has bestowed upon us.

This should be good news for Megan Fox, who believes in aliens and ALL of the apocalypse myths…the devout Penetcostal Christian says she has felt the holy ghost and restrained herself from speaking in tongues on more than one occasion. Maybe that’s why twitter just wasn’t gonna cut it.

Justin Bieber flashed his ass-crack on Instagram, Britney Spears took her breasts out for an emancipation stroll, and Girls has now inspired a reality-show…in case you were wondering what narcissism giving itself a rim-job would be like. So otherwise, just your basic week.

Until next time, remember: just cause they’re rich, don’t mean they’re not rachet.

- Regina B