In the past two days, I’ve had two male friends, unprompted of course, say essentially the same thing to me: “She was really awful/bitchy/rude/dumb, BUT she was really attractive.” Two different, well educated, handsome men, two different continents, same ideals. Now, I’m not completely naive to the concept of dating someone simply because of their looks. I exist, I’m aware this has been going on since just about the beginning of time. I hadn’t given it a whole lot of thought until last night when I realized that I too was currently guilty of that exact same thing! This admitted shallow revelation has got ya girl CC thinking: Why, despite years of knowing better do we put up with a heinous mind for a beautiful body?
Last night I found myself becoming increasingly more irritated trying to convince some guy that I’ve been talking to, of my sincerity and kind heart–hey, I never said humility. When I realized that my sudden desperation to prove myself to him was based 95% on how physically attractive I thought he was. He had little more to offer me than a pretty face (very pretty), and a 6’1″ toned, mocha skinned body. I couldn’t recall a time when I had ever felt the need to defend my character to someone that I didn’t really care about. I was once a big fan of having the occasional, what I liked to refer to as “buff and dumb” piece, but I had never encountered “buff and attitude” before. In the middle of trying to assure this creep that I was, despite being rather coquettish, a very genuine woman, I snapped out of it. What was I doing? I couldn’t be bothered with this kind of bullshit. I told him to fuck off, though perhaps a bit more eloquently, then proceeded to stew in my bed over his nerve until I fell asleep.
I’m not claiming to be Ciara or anything, but I’m in no way suffering for attention from beautiful men. However, the older I get, the more I’m starting to realize I need a bit more substance with my muscles. Nothing has ever been more attractive to me than a smart man and I need to stop settling. Physical beauty lacks longevity, and assuming we’re not all millionaire supermodels with our pick of the litter, perhaps we should start focusing a little less on a pretty picture and a little more on the big picture. If you’re planning on being in it for the long haul get some brains with your beauty…if not, I suggest finding the closest thing you can to your Tyson Beckford and riding them all the way home!- California Casual