Two hundred thirty seven years ago, America was born when George Washington and company told the king of England to “tax this dick.” Since then, as a country we’ve defeated the Nazis and Polio, put a man on the moon, and invented the internet. Pretty good for a bunch of assholes in powder wigs and stockings sweating to death in the swamps of Philadelphia.
To celebrate the birth of our nation, we’re having a Fourth of July Sale** with up to 70% off in our stores. Because you subscribe to the newsletter, we’ll let you know that the sale has already begun. If you head over to our online shop or visit one of our stores you’ll get early savings, just in time for that rooftop party. We implore you to shop the sale and pickup new freshness to last you throughout the Summer.
To lubricate your purchases, our MOPSTER discount code will also be active as well, getting you an additional 20% OFF. And we’ll even pay for shipping on all domestic orders over $100. So if you don’t buy anything we’ll take it as a sign that you support the Nazis, Polio, and willful scientific ignorance. No big deal, assuming you hate freedom.
**Take note: the sale is In-Store (NY, SF, LA) and Online (innanet), however our offices will be closed until Monday. Your order won’t be processed and shipped until then, because we’ll be meat drunk and/or drunk drunk. There’s usually a high volume of online orders over the weekend, and we get them out as soon as possible; however, be aware that there may be a slight delay because of the holiday.
**Take note Pt. 2: our retail locations (brick & mortar shops) in NY, LA and SF will be closed on July 4th. So you’ll have to shop the sale online that day. But they’ll be in full swing from July 5th through the 7th with discounts in hand- raythedestroyer