Make no mistake, if one day you wake up, turn on Good Morning America, and they’re showing a giant flying saucer hovering over the white house; the aliens are going to win. Movies have conditioned you to think Will Smith is going to save us, or the aliens will die from the common cold, or Liam Neesons will punch them in the throat. They’re lying. Aliens are immune to throat punches, they’ll destroy everything with their advanced technology and intellect. This is fact. We’re gonna be fucked. Our only hope as individuals, will be to try and cozy up to the aliens. Maybe bring ‘em good weed or sell out the location of nukes. I heard aliens are into weed on an episode of the X-Files or a blacklight poster in Spencer’s Gift. Either one, a reliable source on alien affairs.
Most people won’t be ready for domination by alien overlords, but Satanist will be good. Those dudes knew there was no god since day one, and are real cool with existential despair. Besides, their end of the world orgies promise to have the ill refreshments. With either of these jerseys, you’ll be on the winning team when the world ends.- raythedestroyer