In 2011 we were lucky to bring Travis Egedy, who you probably know better as Pictureplane, on as a Bloglin contributor. In between work on his amazing album Thee Physical, Pictureplane wrote about all sorts of interesting things for us, whether it be his best-of for Psychic TV or his updates on the burgeoning #Seapunk movement.

For the end of the year, Travis has put together a list of ten things from all different spheres, whether it be music, art politics, or even geographical, that he considers to be the biggest cultural touchstones of 2011. Enjoy!

~Whole Milk

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10. Rebecca Black’s “Friday”

We all remember where we were when we saw it first: the hilariously dumb lyrics, the awkward singing, the cheesy effects, the non sensical and pointless rap verse; This was THE video of the year. It was also the public’s introduction into the weird weird world of Arc Music Factory. the un-ironic or self aware tween music company that was a never ending rabbit whole of WTF’s.

But it was “Friday” that stole the show, and with good reason. It was such an abomination on all fronts that it was somehow really endearing, and will go down in history as a classic of internet meme culture. Here’s to Rebecca Black and the Arc Music Factory, for making the world laugh, and drop their collective jaws in 2011. <3

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9. Ryan Tracartin’s “Any Ever” at MoMA PS1

I have written about my love and appreciation for Ryan’s work here numerous times. A futurist, he is truly becoming the voice of a disembodied generation. A generation that occupies a multidimensional digital landscape that is truly scitzophrenic, psychedelic, and hyperreal. Ryan Trecartin‘s work is a reflection of our post-post modern age in a way that feels very important and highly relevant in a way that most artists work is not. “Any Ever” was his big museum show this year (rare for any artist his age) and i flew out to New York just to see it.

I was able to meet him, and even ended up in a strip club with him later that night (right after I was almost arrested with my friends Ryder Ripps, and Cody Critcheloe from SSION, but thats another story).  So, back to the art, consisting of 7 different videos in different rooms that were fully immersive environments, the show was fantastic and hugely inspiring. it is hard to think of any other artist really speaking as poetically about my generation like Trecartin. a true genius. i look forward to following his work for years to come.

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8. AraabMuzik Live at Ghe20 Gh0th1k

AraabMuzik had quite the year, mainly by blowing a lot of peoples minds with the great Electronic Dream. But I was lucky enough to catch a live set by the producer in a small basement rave in Bushwick, Brooklyn. The party was one of the notorious and famed raves put on by the often imitated, but never duplicated Ghe20 G0th1k crew, and that night, AraabMuzik was a secret guest.

Teeing talent like AraabMuzik in a DIY punk style setting like that was nothing short of legendary, and his set melted the room. He just stands at his MPC, and beats at it like some sort of cyborg, seemingly un-human. It was a real game changing moment, for all of music. I feel like no one could believe what they were seeing, or hearing. That night AraabMuzik tore a hole in the fabric of reality, no joke.

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7. Teotihuacan

In April of this year, I was fortunate enough to travel down to Mexico City to do a performance with the dark lord Ritualz. The whole trip was incredible and I was also able to go to Monterrey and DJ tribal musica to local kids there alongside one of my favorite producers, 17 year old 3ball phenomenon, Erick Rincon. It was something I will never forget. But the most amazing and life altering experience came from visiting the ruins of the grand city of Teotihuacan.

Full disclosure, the experience of the ruins was enhanced through some high grade mexican LSD, but it wasnt the acid that made it special. Being in such a sacred ancient place that is architecturally sound with the earth, its environment, and the cosmos is nothing short of mind altering. no modern buildings have this effect. It was very powerful, and I couldnt help but wonder of course, just WHAT was the true purpose of these massive pyramids? Maybe one day humanity will remember our true past. Oh, and we also shot a music video while at the pyramids.

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6. Prurient’s Bermuda Drain LP

My album of the year. I feel I have already written in depth a few times about this record, but it is just flawless and epically beautiful.

A dark masterpiece of sound design and brutal emotion by the mighty noise god, Prurient. Noise purists were confused and angered by this release, what with the synths, and the drum machines! Heaven forbid. Respect.

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5. Snack the Planet

In July, an art event like no other I have been a part of occurred in downtown Manhattan. Inside the Museum of Art and Design was a room with a fully equipped flavored oxygen bar, energy drink shrimp cocktails and cyber snacks, the most fashionable of the contemporary New York underground, and a black-lit white carpeted chill out space with blue plastic blow up furniture.

This was Snack the Planet, an experimental party thrown by curators of the next age, Patrik Sandberg, and Lauren Devine, both affiliates of the always amazing DIS magazine. The idea was to somewhat re create the classic cyber-arcade hangout from the seminal 1995 movie, Hackers, but what ended up being created was a genuine Temporary Autonomous Zone. Lighting and “set design” was left up to genius design crew Thunderhorse Video who hand made the entire cyber bar from scratch.

Performances included the incredible queer-art rap poetry of Mykki Blanco with Physical Therapy as her DJ, supreme vibe controllers Teengirl Fantasy, and myself with full choreography by my two incredible dancers, Raw Acid. The event itself was just unbelievable. the energy was explosive because everyone was high on oxygen, life, and energy drinks.

During my performance, people were literally humping on the ground, blowing up condoms, molesting my dancers, and generally just freaking out. I honestly dont think a crowd has been that fanatical in uptight Manhattan since the early 80′s. it was a sight to behold, and that night, Snack the Planet was a cultural revolution. view incredible photos by Rez Avizzar of the whole night, here.

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4. James Ferraro’s Far Side Virtual  

The conceptual art statement of the year, Far Side Virtual was a revelation. From the genius merry prankster that is James Ferraro, the album was a psychedelic journey through our consumerist culture. As a statement regarding what it is like to be a human being living in a manufactured reality, where everything is designed to be simplified and consumed by a mass audience, this album hits that on the head better than any essay of cultural theory could.

Sounding like hitting the “demo” key on an old keyboard while shopping in a supermarket while riding an elevator in Starbucks all captured on a thrift store VHS cassette, nothing sounded like this this year. Yes, it is that fucked up. I don’t know how he did this. It is simply brilliant.

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3. Matthew Stone’s Optimism As Cultural Rebellion at Hole Gallery

Matthew Stone is a british artist whom I have been a big fan of for some time. A few years ago in denver, I was hosting an art salon in a speakeasy bar once a month, where a small group of artists and thinkers would get together to discuss a topic. On one occasion, we chose to discuss the radical notion of optimism and its revolutionary power to change. I presented some of Matthew Stone’s essays on the idea of how optimism is extremely important and as a tactic in radicalism and the progression of culture and spirit.

So it was fantastic to be able to attend the opening for his American debut show dealing with that concept. There was a deep transcendent spirituality to the work in the show, which is one of Matthew’s gifts and strong points. Matthew’s photographic and sculptural work is extremely poetic and romantic and references classical painting, yet is overtly queer and contemporary. I feel a spiritual connection to Matthew as he fancies himself a bit of a shaman and shares a lot of the same conceptual outlooks on life and humanity that I do. His work shows the power in geometry and in the human form, the soul inside of the body. it was just sublime.

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2. American Indie Rap Getting its Groove Back

As an old school indie-rap head (um remember Anticon?) it was cool to see that 2011 was the year American underground rap broke out with a vengeance unseen since the days of Company Flow in the late 90′s. With the music industry in steady decline, mainstream artists were left scratching their heads, as their lyrics of money, cars, and clothes were becoming increasingly irrelevant. It seems like indie rap was everywhere this year, with the internet explosions of Odd Future (“Yonkers,”anyone?) and Kreayshawn, like it or not, teenagers on DIY budgets were making a loud splash.

This year we saw the breakout of some new stars climbing to the top from the underground. Artists like Danny Brown and A$AP Rocky both had incredible, and dare I say historical albums, and shit Das Racist were on the fucking cover of SPIN magazine. Rappers like Young L and SpaceGhostPurrp were putting out really dope mixtapes. And I saw the magician god himself, Lil B, give one of the weirdest and most avant guard performances I have ever seen with full on new age spoken word sermon during the Supermoon at the Fader Fort during SXSW to over 2000 people. that was some incredible fucking shit. ART RAP IS BACK!

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1. The #Occupy Movement and the Global Uprising

Watching 4am live stream on the internet from some dude’s cellphone of hundreds of riot police violently destroying and dismantling the #occupywallstreet protest center in Zucotti Park because of a media blackout was disgusting, enraging, and an event that shook the world.

Talk as much shit as you want on the occupiers, but this year they succeeded in snapping people out of their dark trance illusion that everything is fine and well in the world. It was the news story of the year, that was barely covered or taken seriously by the government owned mainstream media. As they say, you can’t arrest an idea, expect only more global conflict and revolution in 2012. Tear the shit down.

Whelp, they can’t all be winners can they? But let’s not deny ourselves the precious schadenfreude of singling out the albums that, in 2011, just didn’t cut it for us. Whether they be promises unfulfilled, ideas left half baked, or a stubborn inability to evolve, there were all sorts of disappointments this year.

A lot of these albums ended up on other people’s best of lists, so yeah, we might be trying to instigate a little somethin’ somethin’. But mainly we’re just trying to speak the truth, and despite the hype. these were the 10 biggest disappointments of the year…

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10. Bon Iver - S/T [Jagjaguwar/4AD]

The plasticine nature of Bon Iver half makes me believe that Justin Vernon’s story about his sojourn into a cabin to record his debut album might have been a fabrication all along. Any sort of genuine emotion displayed on that release is replaced by pap.

Humorously enough, there is only one really good song on the album, and it’s closer “Beth/Rest”, the only track that’s more than open about its ridiculousness, full of lite-rock synths and goofily soaring vocals.

Original Bloglin Review

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9. The Strokes - Angles [RCA/Rough Trade]

Finally, after all these years, The Strokes return with their fourth album and it is… super underwhelming. Apparently, though this is not surprising, Julian Casablancas and the rest of the band weren’t exactly on the best terms during the recording of Angles.

Whereas a record like Is This It was buoyed up by the pure exuberance of a band that was in perfect harmony and creative cohesion, Angles is a hodgepodge of mostly boring, nothing more than competently executed ideas.

Original Bloglin Review

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8. Cut Copy - Zonoscope [Modular]

Much like another group that appears later on our list, Cut Copy was a progenitor of a movement, only to return some years later selling the same formula only to find that their contemporaries had pretty much used up all our goodwill for the sound.

Zonoscope still remains the weaker of their three records, but to be honest Cut Copy had quite the difficult task in front of them to return to anywhere near their past relevance.

Original Bloglin Review

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7. Lupe Fiasco – Lasers [Atlantic]

Not gonna lie, I was never a fan of Lupe. He was always a little too precious for me, a little too faux intellectual, but maybe I just didn’t get it. Nevertheless, even his most ardent supporters pretty much agreed Lasers was crap.

I remember randomly being in Union Square about a year ago and seeing a bunch of people crowded around looking up at the wall above the (still open) Virgin Megastore. I found out it was a preview for Lasers. People seemed really excited, then 5 seconds of a video of Lupe showed up on the wall, sans any sound, then an ad for his record label. That was it. Sounds about right.

Original Bloglin Review

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6. Björk - Biophilia [One Little Indian]

No one would ever fault Bjork for her ambition and creativity, but when you’re always trying to be way out there, you’re gonna miss sometimes. Unfortunately, Biophilia was weighted down by its own lofty concepts.

Part album, part iPad app suite, part performance piece, Biophilia was mediocre at a lot of things and not very good at any one thing. Bjork invented new instruments for the album. I suggest she goes back to the tried and true ones.

Original Bloglin Review

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5. Radiohead – The King of Limbs [TBD/XL]

It’s not that The King of Limbs is bad. It’s just that Radiohead releases are held to a very high standard, one which this surprisingly slapdash sounding collection of borderline boring tracks does not live up to.

People didn’t know whether they still had it in them for In Rainbows, but now many regard that as their best album. Though we all wished it, lightning just didn’t strike twice here, and King of Limbs was the last thing an album wants to be: forgettable.

Original Bloglin Review

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4. Drake – Take Care [Cash Money]

I’ll probably catch some flack from the rest of the crew for this, but I actually like Take Care (sorry!). That being said, I’m ready to throw on the devil’s advocate suit and pick apart what is most certainly a pompously self-obsessed, gloomily confessional pseudo-rap album from an MC with a nasal flow that wears out its welcome quick.

Unfortunately, this album never seems to end, with tracks being stretched well beyond breaking point and interspersed with “interludes” and other such useless things. We get it Drizzy: you’re sad. Put it on livejournal.

Original Bloglin Review

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3. Justice – Audio, Video, Disco [Ed Banger]

If only Justice had left it at †. A strange album that unexpectedly snagged a slice of the zeitgeist, † is the sort of record that if you thought back to the time you were really into it you’d have trouble remembering just why that was.

Nonetheless, it still held onto some of its cache. Audio, Video, Disco on the other hand seems wildly unnecessary, and instantly forgettable.

Original Bloglin Review

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2. Jay-Z & Kanye West - Watch the Throne [Def Jam]

Turns out that “don’t let me get in my zone” was less of a threat and more of a mantra. I would like to say that this album just collapsed under the weight of its own hype, but weren’t people wary of this from the start?

Both rappers, no matter how much the swear they weren’t, are clearly on autopilot for this record, or maybe they have truly become so delusional they believe their mere presence is enough to captivate us. Though, judging by Watch The Throne‘s presence on a lot of year end lists, maybe they were right…

Original Bloglin Review

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1. James Blake – S/T [Atlas]

Like a lot of albums on this list, James Blake is not terrible. It’s certainly by no means good either. It’s not much of anything really. After the so-high highs of CMYK and Klavierwerke, we were more or less chomping at the bit for the first full length release from the young Mr. Blake. Where would he take dubstep next? Where would this glottal stop filled vocalist employ his mastery of piano in the world of techno? How great could the album be?

And then we were given this… thing. Well, there sure was a lot of singing, so much so that to call it an electronic album would almost be a stretch. There’s no inherent problem with the singer songwriter thing, but Blake isn’t very compelling as either. His vocal tics become boring quickly, and the repetition that was so effective in his bass music is just annoying when put to words. Sorry James Blake, better luck next time. We’re all rooting for you.

Original Bloglin Review

I wrote last year that the EP had become more important than what anyone could have conceived at its inception. It had long since outgrown its role as a place for castoffs or B-sides, but was still viewed as something somehow less than. Post millennial artists, of course a lions share of them being from the underground, took the format and instead turned it into a hotbed of experimentation.

This year, not only the sound but the reasons for the EP’s were more varied than ever, affording us a vast (and often free, lets not forget that) catalogue of stellar releases for us to choose from. There were releases from artists who are clearly in between albums, which is a quality I find quite enjoyable as it gives you a look into the unique transitional period between sounds.

Fatima Al Qadiri

There were side-projects from both established and emerging artists, the presence of which is not only welcome alone but fascinating in the context of their other work. Then there is perhaps my favorite trend in EP’s this year: the party time capsule EP.

That is a pretty terrible and unwieldy phrase I just coined there, but I swear it sounds better when I explain it. One of my favorite things about this year was watching the theme party come back in a big way. Not theme like “cops n robbers” or some lame shit like that, but rather a weekly (or monthly or what have you) party that has its own very specific sound and experience.

Jam City

Though spearheaded by Ghe20 G0th1k, many other parties have risen alongside. Releases from those parties go-to DJ’s are a great and invigorating way to take a look into a subculture that has really been dormant for a while. All these things, of course, still are united by one thing: being really good music.

So here’s our picks for the top 15 EPs of 2011. As per usual, each reviewer submitted their own list, and we Franenstein’-ed them together into one super duper list. Enjoy!

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So we find ourselves at the end of another year, left to sort through and make sense of 365 days worth of music, and when doing so to look back on the year itself, to remember the things and times those sounds are attached to. 2010 was a year of stratification, of artists running as hard as they could in opposite directions, with genres, themes, styles, and even methods of release becoming as overwhelming as they were varied.

People were poking and prodding at the edges of what was “allowed,” off in their own little journeys with keyboards and software. But 2011 is different. It felt different. We are experiencing, to borrow some nomenclature from (believe it or not) Craig Finn, a “unified scene.” Though the opening salvo came in 2010 (that being My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, a rubric of intent both in its content and personnel), 2011 was host to the full realization of that morose and opulent mission statement.

Though as potentially full of personal cheer as any year, politically, existentially, and communally, 2011 was not the greatest orbit on record. In sadness and futility, however, people often find each other. A relationship can be built off of one common trait, even if that trait is fear or despair. Luckily, within a community born of such things you can also find hope, even if it’s just a validation that you’re not crazy, and not alone.

Pictureplane

Though artists still made music that drew from every corner of the audial universe, it seems none of the truly successful records of this year were trapped in their own insular world. They were personal, certainly, sometimes bracingly so. But in those private statements was an outreach for community, and an attempt to capture the special kinds of both sorrow for the immediate and hope for the imagined that defined 2011.

We were given woozy, inebriated confessionals: the inevitable hangover from the consequence free faux-grandeur of rap and pop of years past. We were given bleak futurism in electronic music, a vision of sounds we recognize ripped apart and refigured to reflect the anxious unknowability of the road ahead. And we were given fight songs, irony free statements of “yes, this sucks, and we can probably change it if we really try.” Most of all, however, I think we were really given music for our time, music that (while not bereft of appropriation of old styles) is frankly aware of its place in history and eager to give that place a sound and feeling.

We were also given numerous takes on slowjams and R&B, perhaps the most uniting sound of the year. Now, in what I’m sure is a relief to you, we can begin with our countdown. We’ve already done our honorable mentions, so it’s time to get to the down n’ dirty. Our top 50 is finally out, and is to be followed by our favorite songs, EPs and even our most disappointing albums of 2011.

Frank Ocean

As in years past, we’ve all come together to put together a definitive list of the best albums of the year. Make no mistake, when history looks back on 2011, this will be the urtext that our descendants will reference. In all seriousness, we’re quite happy with it, and we hope you are too.

Each Bloglin reviewer submits a top 25, and we use a highly complex mathematical formula to create a super-voltron-esque list that represents all of us. As I mentioned, we decided this year to exclude the albums we released. Not at all a commentary on their quality (quite the opposite really) but a sidestep of nepotism. Without further adieu, here are our Top 50 albums of 2011.

Jump To: Honorable Mentions, #50, #25, #10, #1 | Top 15 EPs | Top 10 Disappointments | Top 10 Metal Albums | Top 20 Hip Hop Releases | Top 75 Tracks | Top 10 Grime Tunes

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Everyone has that one author who really gets them into reading. For me, that was Stephen King. When I was a kid, his books were the first that I really devoured, my first experience with pleasure reading. I’ve seen moved on to “bigger and better things” (whatever that means) but I will always have a place in my heart for the King man, and will without fail read his new books.

Last week saw the release of his newest tome, 11/22/63, a story of a man who travels back in time to prevent the Kennedy Assassination. Sweet! I have it sitting at home waiting for me, but in the mean time it’s got me thinking about my other favorite King works. I know a lot of people hate on him, which seems insane to me, but I also know that there are tons of you out there who love him just as much as I do. His bibliography is so expansive and varied, that everyone’s bound to have different Top 5′s. So here’s mine, and be sure to chime in with yours in the comments!

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Honorable Mentions: Short stories, and Under the Dome (2009)

First off, I wanted to limit my top five to novels, because there are just so many great stories, but I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t mention at least some of the amazing fiction nuggets held withing Night Shift, Nightmares & Dreamscapes, and Skeleton Crew (my favorite collections of his). Whether is be the sci-fi terror of “The Jaunt,” the Cthulhu mythos love-letter “Crouch End,” the paranoid narrative of “I Am The Doorway,” the goofy gore of “The Mangler,” the dark summer erotica of “The Raft,” the isolation of “Trucks,” or… damn there’s a lot of good stories.

The other work I wanted to shout out is Under The Dome, one of his more recent novels. It came after a string of books (Cell, Lisey’s Story, Duma Key, etc.) that I liked but didn’t love, and I sorta was wondering whether the old man still had it in him to crank out a 1000+ page barnburner. Boy did he ever! His tale of the town of Chester’s Mill’s imprisonment in a translucent biosphere was classic King, with a vast cast of characters, small-town intrigue, violence, and (an attribute that is now endearing to me) third-act issues.

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5. It (1986)

It is, in many ways, the prototypical King work. The large cast, comprised mostly of children. The perpetuation of evil over vast amounts of time. The Maine setting. Metaphysical horror buttressed right up against things like Dracula and killer clowns. The story of The Losers of Derry Maine and their lifelong struggles with the ancient evil beneath it is exhausting, invigorating, terrifying, and finally wonderful.

Perhaps now more remembered for the Miniseries version (one of the best King adaptations), the novel is infinitely deeper, more disturbing, and just generally better in every way. This was the first King mega-tome I read and it really exemplifies his ability to juggle a multitude of characters, moods, and themes, while at the same time delivering a straightforward and engrossing story.

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4. Misery (1987)

Nothing supernatural. No ancient evils, no magical beings. No giant cast of characters, no town. Just Paul Sheldon and Annie Wilkes. Another work more recognized for its movie version, the story is actually greatly benefited by the slowing nature of the novel. As Paul recuperates from his accident in the care of the possibly unstable Annie, the slow ratcheting of tension becomes almost unbearable.

By the time the novel’s most famous scene rolls around (spoiler alert, it involves a sledgehammer) it’s all you’ll be able to do to stay in your seat and hold the book steady enough to read. An exercise for King in stripping away the recurring characteristics of his milieu, Misery is a comparatively quiet human story that nonetheless is full of scares, and also runs as a great meta-commentary on what it is to be an author.

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A few days ago on Facebook I saw a friend’s vitriolic screed about the supposedly satanic spice that is MSG (Monosodium Glutamate, if you aren’t into the brevity thing). “It should be illegal, it kills you, it kidnapped my unborn child” and stuff like that. I felt the need to step in and defend my love of this so misunderstood a crystal. I was promptly smacked down repeatedly.

I now consider myself the MSG version of that woman in the High Fructose Corn syrup commercial who walks in beautiful fields of vermillion corn to let you know that you’re being a whiny bitch, and it’s no worse than sugar. Except instead of a meadow, I’ll be taking a tour through the sidestreets of Chinatown. I moved into the wild and wacky world of deep Chinatown three years ago.

When I first moved in, people always asked my where the real local fare was. I, of course, had no fucking clue. Since then, I’ve slowly, painfully, and with the help of many a bottle of Pepto Bismol, trial-and-errored my way through all the random little Chinese spots in the neighborhood to create what I think is a pretty great roster of cheap, accessible, and MSG happy meals. So without further adieu, here’s my 5 favorite secret Chinatown food destinations.

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Honorable Mention (Tie): Xi’An Famous Foods, Prosperity Dumpling, Nom Wah Tea Parlor, and Wo Hop

Aight so all of these places are fucking delicious. The A2/B2 combo at Xi’an might be the best bang for your buck IMO in Lower Manhattan. Ditto for the 10 for $2 dumplings at Prosperity. But since Xi’an has really blown up over the past year and opened a new location on St. Marks, it’s not really at all a secret anymore. Same for Prosperity. Once people realized Vanessa’s was for losers, they naturally migrated down a few blocks to the far superior Prosperity.

Nom Wah and Wo Hop have been bumping forever. So, to recap: all great, but you’ve probably already been there.

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5. Henan Flavor 68 Forsyth at Canal

The thing people always tell you to get at Xi’an is their “burgers” a sort of stewed lamp sandwich in an eastern Chinese version of an english muffin. That sammy is slammin’, but the one at Henan flavor is even better. Same price, but this one is the size of a frisbee. The toasted sesame seed coated bun has way more flavor, and they don’t fuck around with the amount of slow-cooked meats they throw in that guy.

Henan food comes from central China, and to me tastes as though it has a lot of the same flavors as Indian. Combining those with traditional Chinese dishes is a knockout punch to your taste buds homies. They also have what might be my favorite named dish in Chinatown, the very apt “Big Tray Of Chicken.” It’s a big ass tray of delicious spicy chicken and potatoes and is a must get, especially if you’re in a group.

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4. Super Taste 26 Eldridge at Canal

Spicy beef tendon noodle soup with a side of Fuzhou fish balls. Trust me. A lot of people fuck with Tasty Hand-Pulled Noodle, which is good, but I like Super Taste more. Maybe it’s because I sort of enjoy getting yelled at by the hostess just as I walk in and having to answer with my order before she really starts to get mad, but I think it’s mainly just those damn fish balls.

They do their own homemade knife cut noodles, which have that alkaline flavor that everyone likes, and their treatment of beef tendon is good. They also make a mean Mount Qi pork, which is spicy and sour and tangy and all that good stuff. But the Fuzhou balls are the money shot. That sentence sounds weird. They’re a fishball actually wrapped around a meatball, like some sort of wonderful savory Chinese Whopper. They come in a fantastic fish broth and are like 10 for $2. Super tasty!

Hit the jump for the rest!

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Talk about a loaded question, huh? How do you answer that? We’re talking the best of the best. The greatest song ever. In the history of mankind. Not in a particular genre, or decade, no, I mean ever. Best ever. You know the song that, deep down, you think is just flat out better than anything else; the one that always captures your attention and, on occasion, launches you into one of those Seinfeld “Desperado” moments; the one that you always discover some new, discreet sonic detail and freak out over.

You know the one, just shoot from the gut.

This can go really, really, well or just end up being absolutely cringe worthy. Guess that all depends on your choices right? Pick one and post it in the comments. You can post videos by the way, just copy the embed code into the comments box.

Me? I’m going with Harry Nilsson’s “Without You.” From the lyrics, to the production, to the melody, to that voice… shit’s just profoundly beautiful and haunting.

When we last brought you an animation themed High Five, it dealt with the hot-button topic of overt racism in cartoons. While you certainly walk a slippery slope when commenting on an issue of this nature, I thought my blogging brother-in-arms Casper handled the whole affair in fine form. More recently however, it seems that many animators have smartly stripped their creations of most racial commentary, slipping a different brand of subversive material into their doodles. This new breed of edgy animators, whether they know it or not, have been including some pretty hazy sexual undertones in their work, which I’m sure has left some less-informed youngsters scratching their heads at times.

Before I get ahead of myself though, I’d like to state that I’m not specifically referring to the moments that Disney animators have placed an errant dick or butt into one of their animated features. Although it’s relatively impossible for me to keep a straight face when that priest gets the chubs in The Little Mermaid, we can save the “Best Cartoon Boners” list for another time. Rather, I wanted to look at some examples of the less-creepy sexual strokes cartoon-smiths employ when characterizing their creations. If you’ll allow me to use a pretty hackneyed expression here, it’s become unclear nowadays as to which team some cartoon characters are batting for.

With today’s post, I’ll be counting down some of our favorite ambiguously gay cartoon characters, speaking a bit on some of their more flamboyant tendencies along the way. I may also quickly touch on the reasons why we here at Мишка might have our sneaking suspicions when it comes to a toon’s specific orientation. Also — even though they’re the lead image — I thought I should mention that I won’t be included The Ambiguously Gay Duo in the context of the list, as this would be both super obvious, and completely bone-headed.

So without any further ado, let’s smash the champagne bottle on this big gay cartoon cruise ship, and get things underway.

5. The Gromble [Aaahh!!! Real Monsters] (1994-1997)

While this headmaster’s sexually orientation was never specifically referenced throughout the course of any Aaahh!!! Real Monsters episodes (for obvious reasons), you’d have every right to believe the creature was anything but heterosexual. At face value, Gromble tended to dress in a particularly feminine fashion, regularly wearing what appeared to be red lipstick, accompanied by a couple pairs of red high heels.

This stern task master was also quite prone to mood swings, and would often exhibit diva-like behavior on the reg. Gromble could switch modes from sacharine sweet, to blowing his top, at the drop of a hat. Although, this isn’t necessarily a definitive sign of homosexual behavior, I really just keep going back to that set of high heels he would constantly wear.

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4. Starscream (Transformers) [1984-1988]

On paper, there is nothing overtly homosexual about this particular Deceptacon. A nefarious robot that can transform into a supersonic jet sounds more terrifying than anything else. When coupled with the vocal talents of voice actor Christopher Collins, however, an entirely new dimension is added to Megatron’s second in command. Starscream was immediately transformed into the cattiest and most persnickety of Transformers villains, lashing out with that trademark semi-lisp of his every chance he got before launching into a submissive sycophant around Megatron.

Christopher Collins also gave his voice to Cobra Commander in the original G.I. Joe television series, and presented that particular baddie with his similar trademark feminine cackle. While I would have also liked to have included Cobra within the list, a separate G.I. Joe character will be turning up later on, who really takes the gay cake in this particular department.

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“And if ya squad flex, I’m lettin’ off like Bernhard Goetz.” – Big L, “Da Graveyard”

As themes, “revenge” and “vigilantism” are two of the most explored in film. What spiritual or moral line must a man cross to get revenge? Does it make it him any better than the scum? Etc. They’re simple elements to build an entire film around. It’s easy: a man – usually middle-aged – loses his wife/kids/ in a gruesome murder. Sometimes the hoods rape them first. After the judicial system fails him and the hoods walk, the man decides to take justice into his own hands. Sometimes it takes some extra coaxing by friends, but by the end, the hoods are dead and the man gets his revenge. Lots of badass dialogue is peppered throughout.

The quote above comes from the Big L song “Da Graveyard” and references Bernhard Goetz, the controversial “Subway Vigilante” who in 1984 shot four black youths in a Manhattan subway train. He claimed it was self defense. Whether it was or not, it’s probably the most well-known case of non-fiction vigilantism. In real life, the vigilante usually doesn’t get busted by the police. Or they share a bizarre relationship with them. Like how Detective Ochoa let Paul Kersey skip town in Death Wish. Kindred bros.

I’ve deliberately chosen not to include Death Wish, the Godfather of revenge/vigilante movies. Charles Bronson, as Paul Kersey, could be the most well-known vigilante besides Batman. Also, there’s no Korean flicks here (check the title). The Koreans are running shit in the revenge movie department (see: this year’s I Saw the Devil). But this is a list, made for the internet; ergo, my goal is to prove how superior my taste is and to possibly turn you on to some cool movies you may have never heard of. Then, in turn, your job is to comment and tell me how huge of a jackass I am. But look deep in your heart and you know I’m right.

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5. Ms. 45 (1981) Directed by Abel Ferrara

Thana is having the worst day ever. First she’s raped in an alley on the way home from work. Since she’s mute, she can’t cry for help. Having a pistol shoved in your mouth doesn’t help either. Then she’s raped in her apartment! That’s enough for even the most innocent of seamstresses to pick up a .45 and gun down any male that looks your way. I’m not sure what the body count is in Ms. 45, but it’s probably higher than any other movie in this piece. She seriously shoots every dick in the city.

Directed by NYC badass Abel Ferrara (OG Bad Lieutenant, King of New York) and starring the stunning model, essayist, and heroin advocate Zoe Lund, Ms. 45 is my favorite revenge flick with a female lead. The “rape/revenge” is a subgenre in it’s own right but the fact that Thana is mute makes her way more menacing than other gunsels. The climactic Halloween party scene at the end is a beautiful nightmare.

Even though I didn’t really dig it, Neil Jordan’s The Brave One should get props for having a female lead (Jodie Foster) who turns vigilante without being raped. If you wanna go traditional rape/revenge, I’m a fan of 1974′s Rape Squad, aka Act of Vengeance. They pour acid on a guy’s weiner! The title makes it sound like they drive around raping people though.

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4. Fighting Back (1982) Directed by Lewis Teague

While Ms. 45 might have the highest and most reckless body count in this piece, Fighting Back is the most tame. The most gruesome moment occurs when a punk cuts an elderly woman’s finger off to get at a stubborn ring. What makes Lewis Teague‘s tale of vigilantism so hard is Tom Skerritt. As deli owner John D’Angelo he’s one of the most believable men in film who’ve been pushed too far. After two incidents in which his family is attacked, he forms a para-military of neighborhood business owners and builds an armored station wagon. Bad. Ass.

During one of their early raids of a local joint where local scumbags hang, Skerritt belts out one of the sickest calling card quotes ever: “My name is John D’Angeo! I MAKE THE BEST  HOT HERO IN TOWN!” Watching the sheriff from Picket Fences go berserk on pimps, purse-snatchers, and panty-sniffers is hypnotizing. The final strike on the punk that started it all is kinda silly, but as a whole John D’Angelo’s revenge is a helluva thing to watch.

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“You either like ‘No Wave’ or you don’t.” That’s been the prevailing mentality held by music critics and fans in regards to the noisy New York-based art/sound collaborative movement of No Wave for awhile now. With this assumption, I beg to differ. I’m willing to acknowledge that, yes, “No Wave” is, in theory, founded on abrasion, vocal shrilling, and instrumental abuse that is very mood-dependent and not something you’d play for hours on end during a road trip. But in it’s disagree-ability and among those biting features ubiquitous in recordings of leaders like DNA and Teenage Jesus & The Jerks exists a smooth and palatable face of the unconventional, free-form genre, it just takes a little sniffing and digging around the subculture to find it.

A poetic gangbang, with it’s emergence in the mid-70′s and stretching well into the 1980′s, “No Wave” helmed a renaissance of sorts on the soot-laden show floors of venues like CBGBs and Mudd Club, corralling together all the freaks and eccentrics (artists) of the scene under an umbrella of avante-garde expressionism in music. With a turning point in 1978 when Brian Eno produced the hailed compilation No New York, a record that defined a sound and with it’s archival conglomeration of tracks sprinkled exposure where there was none outside of the local social circles. I didn’t include anything from this record on this week’s High Five, if you wanna know more about it, buy it.

And now with more and more previously out-of-print compilations being put out again in LP format and a reborn interest in unearthing the remains of a magic moment in the seedy streets of Manhattan, the whole era is becoming increasingly accessible. Take for example the newly re-released album from Dog Eat Dog with original artwork by the much-missed pop artist Keith Haring, that record is three decades old and hit shelves for the second time three months ago.

In light of all the No Wave love and name checking floating around lately in my conversations with others and repressing of old material, I thought a guide for the Bloglin was in order.

Just so you ingrates know, this list was a royal pain in my arse to research and settle up on with things coming and going, but I did it and I did it for you. The main reason it proved such a challenge is in the fact that No Wave, as a genre, doesn’t exist in a vacuum with set boundaries and limits. Instead many artists experimented with and were influenced by many different bled into other sonic movements of the period such as Post-Punk and Post-Disco.

Anyway… Order’s up! Here’s the five most “danceable or rather listenable” No Wave songs after the jump. Take it, leave it, blast me in the comments, I don’t care.

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