Diamond Head – Lightning to the Nations (1980)

Vs.

Black Sabbath – Paranoid (1970)

Ughh. What am I thinking here? I either imagine crickets or a total landslide. But fuck it I’m going for it because metal fans who know, know. Two classics, a decade apart, both with a huge hand in shaping metal. One everyone knows, one… well I guess we’ll see who knows it? Choice Is Yours…

André 3000 (Born 1975)

Vs.

Big Boi (Born 1975)

After that new Gorillaz track with Three Stacks dropped last week, he was of course bombarded once again with questions about the ever desired new Outkast album, their follow up to the strange pseudo-album Idlewild (remember when that movie happened by the way? That was weird). He broke a bunch of hearts by saying that, despite consistent rumors to the contrary (I’m pretty sure I’d heard that Outkast was supposed to release 2 albums in 2011 at one point…) that there are no plans for further Outkast material. What gives dude? Y’all not homies anymore or what?

Maybe he’s just jealous of the success that Big Boi found with his debut album, the pretty darn great Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Why Is This Album Title Still Happening. If these two rapping gentleman fought, who would be the winner? Would it be Andre’s romantic-dandy wordplay or Daddy Fat Sax’s flowing baritone patter? The stage is set for a epic mic battle of Highlander proportions except it takes place in Atlanta and Christopher Lambert’s character is in razor ads. You know how this works. The Choice Is Yours…

Kids (1995) // Dir. Larry Clarke

Vs.

Gummo (1997) // Dir. Harmony Korine

Emerging onto the scene as a shockingly fully formed artist at the tender age of 20, Harmony Korine appeared to have travelled from a bizarre alterna world (read: Tennessee) to show the indie film world something it had never really seen. After meeting Larry Clark in Washington Square Park, the young Korine was commissioned to write a screenplay about skateboarding and AIDS, and less than a month later the shooting script for Kids was born. We all know what happened there.

After the firestorm of praise and criticism surrounding Kids, Korine was given free reign over his next project, both as writer and director, and the result was the gorgeous transmission from hell that is Gummo. The collage like tale of a southern town left crippled by a tornado, and the strange denizens that live (usually to the extreme) in it, Gummo was perhaps even more divisive than Kids. As years have passed, both movies have risen in people’s esteem, both from hatred to grudging acceptance and from love to borderline worship. I would certainly say they are two of the finest films of the 90s, and each incredibly important in their own right. But you know how this works. Only one can survive. Choice Is Yours…

PROTIP: The Gummo trailer included above is an amazing homebrew one done by none other than Mark Romanek. Shouts to my friend Lil’ Dinky for finding that one.

Eerie, Indiana (1991-1992) 19 Episodes [NBC]

Vs.

American Gothic (1995-1996) 22 Episodes [CBS]

You know those things from your childhood that you were really into but forgot about for huge periods of time, only to rediscover them years later and suddenly remember a whole aspect of your fandom? Both of these somewhat similar series’ were like that for me, and both came back into my life about 2-3 years ago. Though in my mind I placed them around the same time, Eerie, Indiana aired on NBC in 1992 and American Gothic hit the CBS airwaves in 1996. Both are horror tv shows (some of the only good ones), and both are somewhat aimed at teen audiences.

Both come from established horror directors, Joe Dante and Sam Raimi, respectively. Both star great child actors in Omri Katz and Lucas Black. And both are really fantastic. Eerie is a horror-humorous monster-of-the-week story about a town with seemingly endless weird secrets, and Gothic concerns a young psychic boy’s battle with a supernatural satanic sheriff played by Gary Cole. Both of these series’ worked admirably to bring the best of horror to television, and both were rewarded with early cancellations. Now, one has to suffer that fate again. You know the rules. Choice is Yours…

Gucci Mane (Born 1980)

Vs.

Waka Flocka Flame (Born 1986)

Battle Brick Squad, begin! Inspired by the release of Gucci’s quite good new mixtape Trap Back, I revisited my thoughts on which of these two friends, compatriots, innovators, goobers, was truly the best rapper. For a while there it was Waka no doubt, but many forget that there was a point where Gucci was blowing him out of the water pretty heavy too. Plus, they teamed up to pretty great effect on Ferrari Boys. This ain’t as easy as it seems.

Radric “Gucci Mane” Davis unexpectedly snagged a slice of the hip hop zeitgeist for a period about two years ago, doing a strange impossible-to-pin-down highbrow lowbrow rap thing that was utterly unique. One of the first signees to his 1017 Brick Squad crew was excitable dread shaking pretty mofo Waka Flocka Flame, who once again surprised the rap game by being totally great despite mainly just yelling his name a lot. I love them both. But which do you love more? You know how this works. Choice Is Yours…

Twin Peaks (1990-1991) 30 Episodes [ABC]

Vs.

The Prisoner (1967-1968) 17 Episodes [ITV]

This week brings us the battle of the supposedly cult TV shows that are actually very well known and loved by everyone. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just true. Sorry. Twin Peaks in particular has become a huge cultural touchstone both for my generation and the one (half generation?) directly preceding it. For the slightly older folks it was, surprisingly, one of the most popular shows on television. For us, it’s been a cool-kid rediscovery type thing that gets talked about in hushed tones and exultations. Mainly because it is really good. Also because it is weird, but mostly, I hope, because its good.

Slightly more on the freaky deaky Sci-Fi side is Patrick McGoohan’s dystopic penny farthing mind bender The Prisoner, which originally aired in the late 60s to great acclaim and has since been canonized by a very devoted and intense group of fans. Telling the story of prisoner Number 6 and his travails the Village, The Prisoner is weird and scary and confusing and great. Both these shows have scary towns. Were weirdly popular. Have intense followings. Ended prematurely. Are awesome. But you know how this game works. Choice is yours…

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009) 75 Episodes [SyFy]

Vs.

Lost (2004-2010) 121 Episodes [ABC]

First things first: both of these shows are fantastic, some of the best I’ve ever seen, and no one will convince me otherwise. Feel free to come at me in the comments section, but you just ain’t changing my mind on this one. But the question is, which one is better? Fuck that’s a hard question. Especially since these shows are actually very similar. Both are epic in scope, to say the least. Both feature large and evolving ensemble casts without a true and definitive central character. Both are ostensibly “genre” pieces – one Sci-Fi and one fantasy – but both deal in much larger cards as well, and are consistently praised (or derided) for being more about the characters than the plot machinations.

Both dabbled heavily in spiritual and religious concepts, and both had endings that were controversial. Both grabbed the zeitgeist by the throat and both have changed the landscape of modern television. I love’em both. I liked both endings a lot too! What’s wrong with me?? BSG might be considered to be the “better” show, or maybe the more mature one or something, but I don’t know if I’ve been as obsessed with something that I watched play out in real time on television more than Lost. I wish I could pick them both. But you can’t always get what you want. You know how the game works. Choice is Yours…

Gary Oldman (Born 1958)

Vs.

Ralph Fiennes (Born 1962)

Some actors are just born to play villains. Something about their face just screams evil: a spark of the eye, a crook in the mouth, or perhaps the particular angle of their brow. Undoubtedly two of the best, and certainly some of the most prolific in their evildoing are the two men above you.

Gary Oldman is often heralded as the most versatile of villainous performers. Just look at his work in The Professional, Dracula, True Romance, Hannibal, Air Force One, JFK, and more to see his amazing range. I’m personally a humongous fan of Jean-Baptiste Zorg, his fey cajun future-coiffed sneerer in Fifth Element.

But, that being said, perhaps none of Oldman’s creations are as viscerally frightening as Fiennes’ epically unsettling performance as Nazi Amon Göth in Schindler’s List. Of course he’s also has bad dude turns as Voldemort in the Harry Potter series, as Hades in Clash of The Titans, as Francis Dolarhyde in Red Dragon, and one of my personal favorites, Harry in In Bruges. Both of these actors are indispensably great villains, but you know how this game works. Choice is yours…

NFL Blitz (1998) [Midway]

Vs.

NBA Hangtime (1997) [Midway]

The amount of hours that I spent playing both of these classic arcade titles (both of which were later ported to the N64) is literally disgusting. I love Goldeneye, don’t get me wrong, but these two games define my early multiplayer experiences more than that shooter ever will. I can still very precisely picture the playbook in Blitz (it was the same for every team), whether it be the short yardage Blizzard or the magical Hail Mary.

Hangtime (also known as NBA Jam, more or less) brought us things like big head mode, being ON FIRE, and 3-man rosters that I will never forget. But if you could only have one… what a choice. Do I want to sling it deep with Brett Favre, or make it rain with Reggie Miller? You know the rules, only one can survive. Choice is yours…

The Weeknd - House of Balloons (2011)

Vs.

Drake - Take Care (2011)

A battle of best friends! At least I think they’re best friends or something like that not? Being that we gave House of Balloons #2 on our Top 50 and Take Care #4 on our Top 10 Disappointments of 2011, I think my leaning is pretty clear. But that hasn’t stopped people from swooning all over Take Care. But what if you had to choose between it and The Weeknd’s debut to exist and possibly keep you warm at night… which would it be? Choice Is Yours…